The loss of a great mind

I hardly dare write my blog today in honour of the great Stephen Hawking an inspirational man not just in terms of his great scientific mind but his amazing personal journey and fight against motor neurone disease.

As a non-science girl I believe he made science accessible, interesting and inspiring to everyone. He attended the great St Albans School where for many years they have had their own Stephen Hawking’s Society through which his works have encouraged many an inquisitive young mind, and, will continue to do so.

My title for today’s blog is of course a contradiction in terms as we haven’t completely lost a great mind as he leaves such a fascinating legacy. Our generation have been fortunate to have had him as a brilliant mind challenging the way we thought about the universe and its secrets.

All forms of media will be recording his many thought provoking quotes today -following taken from an interview on Radio 4 with John Humphreys:-

‘If we discovered the complete set of laws, and understood why the universe existed, we would be in the position of God. We are making progress towards that goal, but we still have some way to go.’

 

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International Women’s Day

Today I started celebrating International Women’s Day by having a ladies breakfast at the Waffle House with two of my favourite women. I am extremely fortunate in having known and worked with with some amazing women in my life many of whom have been great mentors.

I look on with pride at the younger generation of females who are so confident, sassy and non-judgemental and who have ambitions and the energy to follow their dreams. Spurred on by positive supportive mothers and great role models in other female family members and successful friends no challenge is insurmountable.

As a mother of a daughter for many reasons I realise the world can be both a cruel place and one of great opportunity and for those wanting to take the plunge and make something good of their lives…it will happen.

Last year I attended a great women’s conference where a speaker suggested that world leaders and heads of large corporates should adopt the many positive female traits of compassion, empathy, caring and sensitivity to work towards world peace and fairer and more honest business practices.

Here’s to being a women with the world at our feet.

 

Empathy and confidence

It is no secret that one can learn empathy but nothing beats having walked in another’s shoes to really know how they feel. Even the most confident person has experienced times in their life when experiences have left them feeling isolated and possibly insecure. It takes great courage to fight the natural instinct of flight and stay and fight.

However, as one gets older and reflects back on those conflict situations we would rather not have encountered we realise that they were all indeed character building. I often say to those in need of positive input and support that no experience is a waste and it is true that it is not what happens in our lives but how we handle it.

I am mindful what works for one person will not work for another as we are all different but we all have to move forward and grow in our own way and try to be the best we can. As my great mentor used to say ‘worrying about things won’t change them’ and that is sound advice.

My years spent in marketing and sales it was a case of every complaint is an opportunity and when things are tough in life it can be just the opportunity we need to make that change in our lives we are struggling to avoid making.

Seize the day and live one day at a time…as in reality that is all any of us can do. Remain curious and take that adventure as it is offered.

 

 

Helping the bereaved not ignoring them

Earlier this week during a visit with a bereaved lady we both agreed how we put on a brave face with those around who are also struggling in coming to terms with a loss of a loved one. Why is that? Over the past few years I have read many books on the beravement journey of others and have my own experiences to recollect too and what is blatently obvious is that to deny somebody’s right to grieve openly is of no use.

I am certain I would have said this before -my own mother said people crossed the road to avoid having to speak to her after my father died suddenly. It made me cross and upset then as a child and still does. However, shall we just be angry with the person that does that or should we feel sorry that they cannot find the words…any words?  As I have written in various articles just a hand on the arm or shoulder and ‘i’m thinking of you’ will suffice nobody who is recently bereaved expects you to say something profound honestly!

What we need as a bereaved person is for people to acknowledge our pain and the existence of those we have loved and lost. We have such a long way to go still in this country in dealing with how we approach the subject of death and it is something all of us will have to encounter and deal with at some stage of our life.

In a world where people post so many private things about their life (which frankly I would rather not see) I find it hard to believe that talking about death leaves them dumb struck.

As always I am sending a little reminder that it is after the funeral people need you to to phone or visit and let them know their loved one is not forgotten.  For anybody who is feeling alone in their grief then please talk to somebody, your loved one would not want you to suffer in silence and most of all celebrate their life.

Oesophageal Cancer Awareness

Regular followers will know one of the cancers I like to raise awareness for is Oesophageal Cancer which is so readily mis-diagnosed or left undiagnosed. Too readily people reach for indigestion remedies which as we know often just mask symptoms rather than cure them.

If you are having repeatedly problems do not self-diagnose but go and see your GP and where necessary insist on being referred to a G.I. expert. There are so many treatments and procedures that specialists can offer before your problem perhaps turns into something more sinister.

Please visit the Oesophageal Patients Association’s website:- http://www.opa.org.uk

Student wellbeing -The RVC

Our Prime Minister spoke this morning in support of awareness and assistance in terms of mental wellbeing within education. The move to train teachers to spot signs of mental health may be seen as a step in the right direction -however what we actually need is more funding within schools to employ more trained counsellors/pastoral staff to deal with the growing stress factors that face today’s students.

I sadly often hear how schools fail children in respect of not adhering to the anti-bullying processes they are meant to follow and/or taking individual cases as seriously as they should – much to the distress and frustration of both students and parents.

However, I must take this opportunity to congratulate The Royal Veterinary College who do take the wellbeing of their students seriously. This starts from day one aiding students considerately in preparation of their interview for a place. During a recent visit to the RVC’s Hawkshead Campus it was also good to see their new sports centre named as ‘The Sport and Wellbeing Centre’ which is free to all students.  I think this speaks volumes of how valued their students are and how the RVC recognise both education and preventing student stress need focus and investment.

Here’s hoping some of the stress can be reduced if our government address and implement some of the financial improvements being muted for students persuing a university education.

Marketing mistakes

So I stand accused, and rightly so, by one follower of joining the marketing mob and promoting my kissing book around valentine’s day! My response and in my defence I think my accountant would be shouting if I hadn’t mentioned my project at this crucial opportunity -and he scares me most!

Jokingaside, my book is educational as well as amusing and therefore apt at any time of the year so I will be mentioning it more regularly. As with most writers we are the world’s worst at self-marketing – I am no exception to this weakness inspite spending many years in marketing. It is always harder to market one’s self.

As self employed individuals we spread ourself so very thin at times, especially when very few can afford to pay ‘the experts’ to do it on our behalf.

Happy monday and for those that need to… get marketing – note to self be more proactive!

Everyday is special

The marketing people are at it again telling us to be in love and shower those we love with chocolate hearts and roses.  Those we love are just as happy to have a hug, a kiss and kindness. On the subject of kissing for those still on the dating scene, in love, still kissing they may like to read a copy of The little book of kisses’ by Dolly Christmas, available from Amazon in Kindle download.

An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal gift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the perfect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.’

Dementia Support

I have had the great pleasure of working with dementia clients and their families and I am aware how difficult it is for family members to adust emotionally to the challenges this condition brings.

Discussing with family members we agree in a way it is like a mini bereavement as one watches the person we know, loved, and possibly depended on disappear in front of us.

My key advice is to seek support and make the effort to find out as much as you can to learn new ways of communicating. It helps to find small ways to react in different ways to situations to defuse rather than over react, it takes a great deal of love, patience and understanding. Bear in mind your loved one is living in a very frustrating and confusing world now and needs you more than ever.

There are of course dementia charities who have support groups locally and advice on hand to make the journey easier.

 

 

Stroke awareness

I was pleased to see ‘Call the midwife’ this week featured a young mother who suffered a stroke. Any awareness is useful as knowledge is of course power in life. What a great deal of people do not realise is that strokes can happen at any age it’s not just the elderly. However, often elderly people may suffer a slight stroke (TIA) in their sleep and on waking just feel ‘unwell’.

Our family are stroke aware as we lost our Dad age just 44 to a massive cerebral haemorrage. I also had a slight stroke in my early forties though cause was never discovered.  I do as much as I can to raise awareness with stroke symptoms and just as importantly the stroke charities which do such great work supporting stroke suvivors and their families.

The Stroke Association have local support groups and quality information which can prove so useful when having to meet and discuss your situation with medics. Please visit their website:-

http://www.stroke.org.co.uk