Cherishing those we love

The pace of life for most is fast, often too fast and so easily we neglect friendships and loved ones. We all need to slow it down at times and remember to tell those we love just how important they are to us.

I know I have said this many times before on my blog but in life we meet many people and some leave their imprint on our hearts forever. It is never a case of how long the friendship lasts but the depth of that relationship and that is what hurts the most when they leave our lives.

The journey of bereavement is a difficult one, sadly, for many without a quick exit route. Anniversaries can be extremely painful but in their own way they are good for us as it gives us the opportunity to release some of our grief. Only yesterday talking to a recently widowed friend I reminded her how it is good to cry. However, we silly English people think it inappropriate to cry; whereas many other countries openly grieve -the latter being far more beneficial.

If we are missing somebody we have lost then there is no shame in saying so. I was personally touched yesterday learning of how a young girl continued to send her grandad text messages after he had died – talking to him in heaven. For us writers we do that constantly, and I am told that my own honest rantings help others too.

Celebrate the relationships you have with those that are with you and continue to do that when they are no longer around as I am certain that is what they would want.

Sending a spiritual hug to those that really need it today.

Remember the tallest poppies are often picked first and that they were beautiful and loved.

Student wellbeing -The RVC

Our Prime Minister spoke this morning in support of awareness and assistance in terms of mental wellbeing within education. The move to train teachers to spot signs of mental health may be seen as a step in the right direction -however what we actually need is more funding within schools to employ more trained counsellors/pastoral staff to deal with the growing stress factors that face today’s students.

I sadly often hear how schools fail children in respect of not adhering to the anti-bullying processes they are meant to follow and/or taking individual cases as seriously as they should – much to the distress and frustration of both students and parents.

However, I must take this opportunity to congratulate The Royal Veterinary College who do take the wellbeing of their students seriously. This starts from day one aiding students considerately in preparation of their interview for a place. During a recent visit to the RVC’s Hawkshead Campus it was also good to see their new sports centre named as ‘The Sport and Wellbeing Centre’ which is free to all students.  I think this speaks volumes of how valued their students are and how the RVC recognise both education and preventing student stress need focus and investment.

Here’s hoping some of the stress can be reduced if our government address and implement some of the financial improvements being muted for students persuing a university education.

Everyday is special

The marketing people are at it again telling us to be in love and shower those we love with chocolate hearts and roses.  Those we love are just as happy to have a hug, a kiss and kindness. On the subject of kissing for those still on the dating scene, in love, still kissing they may like to read a copy of The little book of kisses’ by Dolly Christmas, available from Amazon in Kindle download.

An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal gift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the perfect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.’

Dementia Support

I have had the great pleasure of working with dementia clients and their families and I am aware how difficult it is for family members to adust emotionally to the challenges this condition brings.

Discussing with family members we agree in a way it is like a mini bereavement as one watches the person we know, loved, and possibly depended on disappear in front of us.

My key advice is to seek support and make the effort to find out as much as you can to learn new ways of communicating. It helps to find small ways to react in different ways to situations to defuse rather than over react, it takes a great deal of love, patience and understanding. Bear in mind your loved one is living in a very frustrating and confusing world now and needs you more than ever.

There are of course dementia charities who have support groups locally and advice on hand to make the journey easier.

 

 

Supporting students

I am mindful that this week is mental awareness week for children and these events give us all a platform to encourage our children to open up, if they are able. Over the past few weeks I have had several discussions with colleagues working within education and one common theme is recognising how stressful it is for today’s students.

Thankfully proactive schools consider positive intervention which can take many shapes. I write often about the value of mindfulness and, of course, taking regular exercise and considering yoga both are great ways for staying relaxed and fit. The various breathing and calming exercises that take just a few minutes can really make a difference in quickly regaining a position of tranquility and calm.

As parents we must ensure that communication between our children during exam time is kept open without appearing to be nagging but encouraging and offering support.  Providing a base that is quiet when needed and positive social inter-action to stop them from suffering cabin fever by isolated studying!

As I discussed with a mother recently – at times we feel we are going through the exams with them! Good luck to both students and parents this coming year, stay focused, positive and be proud of your achievements.

 

Abusing trust

I have felt it a real privilege to work with clients with dementia and their families. Any caring profession carries a great deal of trust and as I discussed recently with a colleague staff are checked for suitability… we assume!

I am saddened and deeply so at the news today showing the filming of a carer slapping a lady with dementia who was left in her care. Where is the respect for a fellow human being and especially for somebody elderly and with such difficult challenges to face?

I am also alarmed at some of the actions of those working in nursing homes, again one assumes staff are trained to administer patience, caring and understanding under the umbrella of palliative care. For those that are vulnerable and sometimes too afraid to speak out, staff that bully and intimidate should be ashamed of themselves. If you cannot offer kindness then don’t work with the elderly.

This country really is failing our elderly – I know my generation were brought up to respect our elders – it’s a shame the government are not being more proactive in their policing of private nursing homes where it often appears that making a profit is higher up the priority than providing good care. Let’s face it the homes charge residents and their families a fortune weekly and for some families this is the only alternative when they can no longer cope with elderly parents with any disability.

Yes, I am ranting but we ignore these facts too readily…it’s just unacceptable! I acknowledge that there are some great nursing homes and dedicated staff running them but one resident being abused is one too many!

Beautiful cat..’Keep Scratching’

Just returned from a trip to the vets with our amazing cat Lenny. Poor lad such a beautiful furry boy… just a domestic long haired but convinced he is a posh cat  – when he is not thinking he is a dog! Cat’s are so switched on they see that cat box and suddenly become as strong as a lion as one tries to wrestle them in.

If like me you are a real cat lover (crazy cat woman) you may enjoy my anthology of cat poetry on Kindle books available from Amazon @ £3.50:

Keep scratching‘ is published and written under my pen name Evelyn King with purrfect cover illustration by Paul Manning www.p-manning.com

Keep_Scratching

The best friend

Mother-s love (1)

The best friend we may ever have may well be our own mother. Regular followers will know I often share little gems of advice from my own great mentor. After many years of quoting her words of wisdom last year I finally got around to writing some of them down. ‘A Mother’s love’ …Gospels according to Dorothy is available from Amazon Kindle  at £3.99 and includes some good spiritual advice.

Written from the heart I hope my book will help others especially those who may have lost their mother and maybe their sense of purpose. Remember we keep our loved ones alive by remembering them.  **Cover illustration courtesy of my talented nephew Paul Manning

Let’s get kissing

From a very early age we learn the acceptance of a hug and kiss in the arms of our mother. Throughout our life we may meet, greet and kiss many people but there is far more to the value of a kiss as my ‘The little book of kisses’ reveals. i.e. burning off calories and helping our own dental hygiene.

With Valentine’s Day creeping towards us I hope a few romantics, and, the curious will think of investing in my amusing kindle book:-

NTA Awards -animal awareness

All forms of media is full of last night’s NTA awards and it is always great to see those who do their job so well getting recognised. Interestingly two of the awards go to two of our national treasures who work and help promote the plight of animals and our planet. Sir David Attenborough who continues to amaze and enthral us all and of course the lovable Paul O’Grady doing such fab work for re-homing animals.

We need those prepared to speak up for animals and who are not afraid to talk about the bad side of human nature as well as the kindness we can all apply to make things better.

A new blog follower has asked where do I get my info from to write my blog? It’s observing life, experiencing life over six decades, self-development through studies and finding time to find out what makes people tick.

People are important material things are not..sometimes we lose sight of that fact. Slow down and talk to one another.