kindness

A Mother’s love

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The older I become the more, and I guess obviously so, my friends and extended family members are losing their parents. The loss of a Mother cuts deep and I described my own feelings at the time of just losing my sense of purpose – when I say that to the recently bereaved I always get a nod of acceptance. Bereavement brings a whole range of emotions and at times these feel so over-whelming. Some may argue it doesn’t get any easier and they are probably right but acceptance becomes stronger and we do start to remember their love and the gift they brought to us.

After being nagged by many of my friends and family I wrote my own thoughts and experiences of my own relationshipwith my mother down. It is true that writing is indeed therapeutic.

‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is available from amazon kindle to download.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

Mother-s love (1)

**Cover illustration courtesy of Paul Manning

 

Cherishing those we love

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The pace of life for most is fast, often too fast and so easily we neglect friendships and loved ones. We all need to slow it down at times and remember to tell those we love just how important they are to us.

I know I have said this many times before on my blog but in life we meet many people and some leave their imprint on our hearts forever. It is never a case of how long the friendship lasts but the depth of that relationship and that is what hurts the most when they leave our lives.

The journey of bereavement is a difficult one, sadly, for many without a quick exit route. Anniversaries can be extremely painful but in their own way they are good for us as it gives us the opportunity to release some of our grief. Only yesterday talking to a recently widowed friend I reminded her how it is good to cry. However, we silly English people think it inappropriate to cry; whereas many other countries openly grieve -the latter being far more beneficial.

If we are missing somebody we have lost then there is no shame in saying so. I was personally touched yesterday learning of how a young girl continued to send her grandad text messages after he had died – talking to him in heaven. For us writers we do that constantly, and I am told that my own honest rantings help others too.

Celebrate the relationships you have with those that are with you and continue to do that when they are no longer around as I am certain that is what they would want.

Sending a spiritual hug to those that really need it today.

Remember the tallest poppies are often picked first and that they were beautiful and loved.

Marketing mistakes

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So I stand accused, and rightly so, by one follower of joining the marketing mob and promoting my kissing book around valentine’s day! My response and in my defence I think my accountant would be shouting if I hadn’t mentioned my project at this crucial opportunity -and he scares me most!

Jokingaside, my book is educational as well as amusing and therefore apt at any time of the year so I will be mentioning it more regularly. As with most writers we are the world’s worst at self-marketing – I am no exception to this weakness inspite spending many years in marketing. It is always harder to market one’s self.

As self employed individuals we spread ourself so very thin at times, especially when very few can afford to pay ‘the experts’ to do it on our behalf.

Happy monday and for those that need to… get marketing – note to self be more proactive!

Everyday is special

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The marketing people are at it again telling us to be in love and shower those we love with chocolate hearts and roses.  Those we love are just as happy to have a hug, a kiss and kindness. On the subject of kissing for those still on the dating scene, in love, still kissing they may like to read a copy of ‘The little book of kisses’ by Dolly Christmas, available from Amazon in Kindle download.

‘An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal gift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the perfect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.’

Dementia Support

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I have had the great pleasure of working with dementia clients and their families and I am aware how difficult it is for family members to adust emotionally to the challenges this condition brings.

Discussing with family members we agree in a way it is like a mini bereavement as one watches the person we know, loved, and possibly depended on disappear in front of us.

My key advice is to seek support and make the effort to find out as much as you can to learn new ways of communicating. It helps to find small ways to react in different ways to situations to defuse rather than over react, it takes a great deal of love, patience and understanding. Bear in mind your loved one is living in a very frustrating and confusing world now and needs you more than ever.

There are of course dementia charities who have support groups locally and advice on hand to make the journey easier.

 

 

Supporting students

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I am mindful that this week is mental awareness week for children and these events give us all a platform to encourage our children to open up, if they are able. Over the past few weeks I have had several discussions with colleagues working within education and one common theme is recognising how stressful it is for today’s students.

Thankfully proactive schools consider positive intervention which can take many shapes. I write often about the value of mindfulness and, of course, taking regular exercise and considering yoga both are great ways for staying relaxed and fit. The various breathing and calming exercises that take just a few minutes can really make a difference in quickly regaining a position of tranquility and calm.

As parents we must ensure that communication between our children during exam time is kept open without appearing to be nagging but encouraging and offering support.  Providing a base that is quiet when needed and positive social inter-action to stop them from suffering cabin fever by isolated studying!

As I discussed with a mother recently – at times we feel we are going through the exams with them! Good luck to both students and parents this coming year, stay focused, positive and be proud of your achievements.

 

Abusing trust

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I have felt it a real privilege to work with clients with dementia and their families. Any caring profession carries a great deal of trust and as I discussed recently with a colleague staff are checked for suitability… we assume!

I am saddened and deeply so at the news today showing the filming of a carer slapping a lady with dementia who was left in her care. Where is the respect for a fellow human being and especially for somebody elderly and with such difficult challenges to face?

I am also alarmed at some of the actions of those working in nursing homes, again one assumes staff are trained to administer patience, caring and understanding under the umbrella of palliative care. For those that are vulnerable and sometimes too afraid to speak out, staff that bully and intimidate should be ashamed of themselves. If you cannot offer kindness then don’t work with the elderly.

This country really is failing our elderly – I know my generation were brought up to respect our elders – it’s a shame the government are not being more proactive in their policing of private nursing homes where it often appears that making a profit is higher up the priority than providing good care. Let’s face it the homes charge residents and their families a fortune weekly and for some families this is the only alternative when they can no longer cope with elderly parents with any disability.

Yes, I am ranting but we ignore these facts too readily…it’s just unacceptable! I acknowledge that there are some great nursing homes and dedicated staff running them but one resident being abused is one too many!

Beautiful cat..’Keep Scratching’

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Just returned from a trip to the vets with our amazing cat Lenny. Poor lad such a beautiful furry boy… just a domestic long haired but convinced he is a posh cat  – when he is not thinking he is a dog! Cat’s are so switched on they see that cat box and suddenly become as strong as a lion as one tries to wrestle them in.

If like me you are a real cat lover (crazy cat woman) you may enjoy my anthology of cat poetry on Kindle books available from Amazon @ £3.50:

‘Keep scratching‘ is published and written under my pen name Evelyn King with purrfect cover illustration by Paul Manning www.p-manning.com

Keep_Scratching

The best friend

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Mother-s love (1)

The best friend we may ever have may well be our own mother. Regular followers will know I often share little gems of advice from my own great mentor. After many years of quoting her words of wisdom last year I finally got around to writing some of them down. ‘A Mother’s love’ …Gospels according to Dorothy is available from Amazon Kindle  at £3.99 and includes some good spiritual advice.

Written from the heart I hope my book will help others especially those who may have lost their mother and maybe their sense of purpose. Remember we keep our loved ones alive by remembering them.  **Cover illustration courtesy of my talented nephew Paul Manning

Let’s get kissing

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From a very early age we learn the acceptance of a hug and kiss in the arms of our mother. Throughout our life we may meet, greet and kiss many people but there is far more to the value of a kiss as my ‘The little book of kisses’ reveals. i.e. burning off calories and helping our own dental hygiene.

With Valentine’s Day creeping towards us I hope a few romantics, and, the curious will think of investing in my amusing kindle book:-