NHS and friends

Been away from the blog for a few days recovering from treatment and sedation. Huge thank you to the great staff at ULCH London Hospital who are always professional and give great care. Everyone is oh so quick to criticise the NHS but the dedication of staff is second to none.

As ever I’m grateful to my amazing girlfriends; one who accompanied to hospital and others who took shifts in visiting with icecream and flowers etc. I am indeed rich in friends and never hopefully take that for granted.

I often write about the value of friendship especially when people are feeling under par. Support and kindness definitely is a key factor in our emotional recovery as well as our physical recovery.

I am mindful it is the season of exams and many students are feeling anxious. As my last blog recommended find time for breaks away from the studying and enjoy the company of friends (hopefully positive ones).  Speaking with colleagues in pastoral I am fully aware that negative influences are unhelpful at these times but keep positive, keep hydrated and exercise..even if it’s just a walk with the dog imaginary or real! Nowadays one can even include the dog in Yoga exercises (doga)

Oh of course..better mention chocolate, not too much to bring on a migraine though.

 

Exam and Revision stress

So for many students it is now full on revising leading up to the exam period. As always I am mindful this is a very difficult time for many students of all ages. The key is to get plenty of rest and keep hydrated. To ensure that the cramming sessions are broken into realistic chunks with time off for regular exercise if possible as that really helps cognitively. Remember to include relaxation and treats into your schedules.

Treats don’t necessarily mean a bagful of chocolate; as your complexion may be more sensitive to and likely to react in skin break-outs brought on by stress at this time, but regular intake of water will really help with this too!

A bit of pampering girls is always a good idea, whether this be a manicure,  a new hair style or if the budget runs to it maybe a massage. A break away from the laptop to the cinema may be just the break you need along with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream obviously.

Seriously, now, keep focused but mindful and if you are feeling really stressed talk to somebody, if this isn’t your parent, talk to a tutor, or pastoral care they will always be supportive and may have some excellent tips that are really easy to implement on a day to day basis. Many colleges and universities have all sorts of stress buster ideas and schemes so find out what yours has to offer and make ultimate use of what’s available.

Please don’t suffer in silence but avoid taking on other student’s stress -it is easy for others to make you feel stressed it can be contagious.

I will be posting regular tips throughout May and June so keep following. I will be invigilating again this summer so I see fully appreciate how stressful it can be for many students. I will be posting little tips for ‘on the exam day’ too.

Keep calm, focused and keep positive.

 

Bereavement awareness…the young Royals

Well done to the younger Royals for speaking out about bereavement and mental illness. Increasing awareness and the importance for people who are sufffering to talk will definitely help take the stigma away from these subjects which have been taboos for far too long. Like their mother Diana they are using their positions to do great and positive work.

Sharing their own experiences of their own bereavement journey in losing their own mother is both personal, brave and will, I am certain, help many people struggling to come to terms with their own loss.

Both princes show great compassion and are extremely humble when talking to representatives of support charities who are so often run and indeed started up by people who have experienced their own tragic loss or on-going mental illness.

The pain which we cannot see in others, often concealed well, certainly needs as much awareness and funding as any other worthy cause.

 

 

The way we think

We all too frequently use the term ‘glass half empty/full’ when really we may be identifying a friend or colleague’s viewpoint as negative or positive. To a certain degree that is true but on a much deeper level a lot of what we achieve and/or fear in life is down to whether or not we are problem thinking or outcome thinking.

Most of us as we become adult take on board that in life we have to take responsibilities for our actions and make positive steps to achieve our goals and lead a happier life.

It all sounds so simple but for many of course that is not the case. So many people have fixed stumbling blocks which prevent them from getting on with their life and realising their ambitions and dreams.

If our negativity is in relation to our career prospects then telling ourselves we will never improve our situation or get that better paid job is problem thinking whereas if we look realistically at learning new skills to secure that position ..we are outcome thinking.

As I have said only recently when chewing the cud with a special somebody…the brain really is like a sponge and the more we learn the more confident we become.

I know I am fortunate in that I have never lost the hunger to learn new things but for those that are struggling consider seeking some NLP Life and Work skills counselling as that dream may easier to live and closer than you think. As for those stumbling blocks they can be knocked down, walked around or even jumped over..now there’s encouragement for a Monday morning eh?

‘A Mother’s Love’

My publication ‘A Mother’s Love’ My Mum said…gospels according to Dorothy is now available from Amazon kindle £6.99 to download.

With Mother’s Day on the horizon, for those of us that no longer have their mothers around it is a time often to reflect and remember their love and hopefully the amazing relationship we had and the love they gave. I hope in reading this my story and hers will resonate with many.

Mine was a great mentor and knew all about NLP, CBT and mindfulness she was a natural master and I hope my followers, friends and family will enjoy reading some of ‘Dorothy’s Gospels’.

With my jacket illustration provided by my great nephew Paul Manning it is a family project made with love. Photograph is mum in her ATS uniform and the handwritten note across the photo was presented to me by my daughter when she was very young.

 

.Mother-s love (1)

International Women’s Day

Today I salute all my fabulous female friends, family members and fellow female colleagues, and of course, fellow writers…we are all doing an amazing job.

Only yesterday I was discussing with a close female friend how great we all are, the way we juggle and prioritise on our feet day by day all year long. The devotion we give to our families and if appropriate our clients too.

For many of us if we have had the added bonus of great mentors along the way even better; mine was my beautiful mother and then a female barrister in my mid-twenties both of whom encouraged me to be the best I can and embrace new challenges.

Celebrate being a successful woman but be mindful of those who live in other countries where opportunities are for some non-existent and/or have a real struggle to just survive let alone flourish.

A special message of love and respect to my wonderful daughter who is blossoming into a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every day.

Huge thank you to all those inspirational women who when met with adversity or personal loss channel their energy into achieving great things which benefit us all.

 

Work experience and social skills

Many of the more sensible students will have secured volunteering positions for half term and for those of you that were not as proactive or unlucky in your endeavours don’t be disheartened.

Now is the time to start approaching charities and organisations for the forthcoming Easter break. I know parents and teachers alike will be encouraging students to get work experience and improve their social skills.

What students have to bear in mind is that being a great academic is not enough your future university will be looking for characters with a good and interesting CV. Showing personal skills and ability to contribute something of value.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

‘A Mother’s Love’

‘A Mother’s Love’ will soon be available to download from Amazon. One of my own projects written whilst being a mature student passing my counselling qualifications and reflecting on my own personal journey and my relationship with my amazing mother. Extract from my book’s introduction:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Annie Manning MASC (CBT) ©

 

Being kind and grateful

It has always been and will always be the case that to have that good friend you have to be that good friend. Being supportive and kind to others lays down the best foundation to move forward. We all have our bad days and some people have bad months or even bad years where a cluster of events beyond their control can consume them. When going through the times of challenge we turn to good friends who remind just where our strength and, where appropriate, our faith lies to draw on and help get us through.

This week I seem to be having some excellent heart to heart conversations with various family members and colleagues. Sometimes during times of bereavement in the midst of our despair we also begin to acknowledge what matters most, how not to allow little things to upset us but more importantly to be grateful for the good things in our life that daily we too easily take for granted.

There is no doubt in my mind experiencing the loss of a parent at a very early age made my own family closer and a realisation hit home (literally) that one never knows what is around the next corner. We were all raised to be mindful by an amazing mentor (our Mother) and to live a day at a time and live it well… love and laugh often as the fridge magnets say!

Remember kindness is indeed a strength and not a weakness -my own personal mantra.

My publication ‘A Mother’s love‘ will be available very soon

Making the most of opportunities

January is often a time for reflecting the past year and re-examining what has worked and what appears to have been a struggle both in work and personal life. For those fellow self-employed followers, this month often is used for focused marketing activities and getting to grips with new projects and meeting new clients.

How ever, you have spent the first week of 2017 ensure you make the best of any networking opportunities and spend time with positive colleagues that inspire rather than hold you back.

Having focused my time and attention to being a mature student the past couple of years I am now spending time on some of my neglected writing projects. I am gently reminding my writing colleagues that sometimes the timing isn’t right..but now perhaps it is. So dust off those manuscripts (word docs) and either start chasing publishers or have a stab at self-publishing.