Cherishing those we love

The pace of life for most is fast, often too fast and so easily we neglect friendships and loved ones. We all need to slow it down at times and remember to tell those we love just how important they are to us.

I know I have said this many times before on my blog but in life we meet many people and some leave their imprint on our hearts forever. It is never a case of how long the friendship lasts but the depth of that relationship and that is what hurts the most when they leave our lives.

The journey of bereavement is a difficult one, sadly, for many without a quick exit route. Anniversaries can be extremely painful but in their own way they are good for us as it gives us the opportunity to release some of our grief. Only yesterday talking to a recently widowed friend I reminded her how it is good to cry. However, we silly English people think it inappropriate to cry; whereas many other countries openly grieve -the latter being far more beneficial.

If we are missing somebody we have lost then there is no shame in saying so. I was personally touched yesterday learning of how a young girl continued to send her grandad text messages after he had died – talking to him in heaven. For us writers we do that constantly, and I am told that my own honest rantings help others too.

Celebrate the relationships you have with those that are with you and continue to do that when they are no longer around as I am certain that is what they would want.

Sending a spiritual hug to those that really need it today.

Remember the tallest poppies are often picked first and that they were beautiful and loved.

Advertisement

Supporting students

I am mindful that this week is mental awareness week for children and these events give us all a platform to encourage our children to open up, if they are able. Over the past few weeks I have had several discussions with colleagues working within education and one common theme is recognising how stressful it is for today’s students.

Thankfully proactive schools consider positive intervention which can take many shapes. I write often about the value of mindfulness and, of course, taking regular exercise and considering yoga both are great ways for staying relaxed and fit. The various breathing and calming exercises that take just a few minutes can really make a difference in quickly regaining a position of tranquility and calm.

As parents we must ensure that communication between our children during exam time is kept open without appearing to be nagging but encouraging and offering support.  Providing a base that is quiet when needed and positive social inter-action to stop them from suffering cabin fever by isolated studying!

As I discussed with a mother recently – at times we feel we are going through the exams with them! Good luck to both students and parents this coming year, stay focused, positive and be proud of your achievements.

 

Stroke awareness

I was pleased to see ‘Call the midwife’ this week featured a young mother who suffered a stroke. Any awareness is useful as knowledge is of course power in life. What a great deal of people do not realise is that strokes can happen at any age it’s not just the elderly. However, often elderly people may suffer a slight stroke (TIA) in their sleep and on waking just feel ‘unwell’.

Our family are stroke aware as we lost our Dad age just 44 to a massive cerebral haemorrage. I also had a slight stroke in my early forties though cause was never discovered.  I do as much as I can to raise awareness with stroke symptoms and just as importantly the stroke charities which do such great work supporting stroke suvivors and their families.

The Stroke Association have local support groups and quality information which can prove so useful when having to meet and discuss your situation with medics. Please visit their website:-

http://www.stroke.org.co.uk

 

Abusing trust

I have felt it a real privilege to work with clients with dementia and their families. Any caring profession carries a great deal of trust and as I discussed recently with a colleague staff are checked for suitability… we assume!

I am saddened and deeply so at the news today showing the filming of a carer slapping a lady with dementia who was left in her care. Where is the respect for a fellow human being and especially for somebody elderly and with such difficult challenges to face?

I am also alarmed at some of the actions of those working in nursing homes, again one assumes staff are trained to administer patience, caring and understanding under the umbrella of palliative care. For those that are vulnerable and sometimes too afraid to speak out, staff that bully and intimidate should be ashamed of themselves. If you cannot offer kindness then don’t work with the elderly.

This country really is failing our elderly – I know my generation were brought up to respect our elders – it’s a shame the government are not being more proactive in their policing of private nursing homes where it often appears that making a profit is higher up the priority than providing good care. Let’s face it the homes charge residents and their families a fortune weekly and for some families this is the only alternative when they can no longer cope with elderly parents with any disability.

Yes, I am ranting but we ignore these facts too readily…it’s just unacceptable! I acknowledge that there are some great nursing homes and dedicated staff running them but one resident being abused is one too many!

The best friend

Mother-s love (1)

The best friend we may ever have may well be our own mother. Regular followers will know I often share little gems of advice from my own great mentor. After many years of quoting her words of wisdom last year I finally got around to writing some of them down. ‘A Mother’s love’ …Gospels according to Dorothy is available from Amazon Kindle  at £3.99 and includes some good spiritual advice.

Written from the heart I hope my book will help others especially those who may have lost their mother and maybe their sense of purpose. Remember we keep our loved ones alive by remembering them.  **Cover illustration courtesy of my talented nephew Paul Manning

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

Let’s get kissing

From a very early age we learn the acceptance of a hug and kiss in the arms of our mother. Throughout our life we may meet, greet and kiss many people but there is far more to the value of a kiss as my ‘The little book of kisses’ reveals. i.e. burning off calories and helping our own dental hygiene.

With Valentine’s Day creeping towards us I hope a few romantics, and, the curious will think of investing in my amusing kindle book:-

Special people

In life people enter our life and we may not know the reason why at the time.  They may appear for just a while or they may remain a constant in our life. However, these people help shape our lives, give it purpose perhaps but the special ones certainly make a difference.

As I have discussed frequently the past few weeks it is not the length of the friendship but the depth, the kindness the person may extend and how they encourage you to broaden your own horizons.

Over the years of freelancing I have worked with some amazing people with creativity and talent that I hope in some small way always rubs off on me. Some clients we are glad when the assignment ends whilst others will end up being friends outside of the work we do with them.

This week I am remembering a very special lady who it was a real privilege to spend time with and I will cherish every experience for a long time to come. As a result of the opportunity I have been able to, expand my own knowledge, help other families and gain a valuable insight into the challenge of living with dementia.

In life whatever we are doing we should endeavour to make it count, make us reflect who we are and how we can improve the lives of those we also touch.

Have a great weekend fellow bloggers and my great followers be inspired, be positive and keep healthy.

Communication let’s talk

I have lost count the times I write about communication being the key to success in any personal or business relationship, but it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves that some people find it harder to communicate than others. This is where patience, caring and understanding step in and we can all do our bit even in our own community and within families.

A recent blog I ranted about how people in wheelchairs or disabilities are often ignored (a discussion I had earlier this week with a new friend**) additionally we agreed this can happen when people are recently bereaved as we search for the right words to offer in sympathy -there are no words but don’t avoid people either. Don’t under estimate the power of a simple hand of the arm and just saying ‘i’m thinking of you.’  **Hi Julia if you are following.

Equally, many will find it awkward to speak to somebody with dementia but there is help available. As ever I am steering my followers to the Alzheimer’s Society’s website: within their wide selection of free literature you will find easy tips to follow to enhance your relationship with, and the life of, the person living with dementia.

Being elderly can become very isolating and lonely so pop in and see that neighbour… a quick bit of engagement will make their day.

The value of life -A Mother’s Love

If one googles ‘the value of life’ all sorts of quotes will come up. The one I wish to share today though are lines taken from the poem by Helen Steiner Rice:-

‘The value of life is not measured in length but in deeds’

It reminds me of one of the many quotes from my own amazing mentor and mother:

‘The time to be good to people is when they are here..too late when they are gone’

It may seem obvious but in our busy lives we forget this sometimes she also taught us to be grateful something modern day people forget. In remembering to be grateful we actually become happier so it’s simple but oh so effective.

Currently reading: ‘The things you can see only when you slow down‘ by Haemin Sunim.

As with most books I read of this nature I hear mum’s voice and this voice was the reason I wrote and produced my kindle book  ‘A Mother’s Love’ available from Amazon to download:-

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

Cherishing the elderly

I was once told that I was born old…had an old soul! Maybe this is why I have always had a great affinity with those in their Autumn years especially those who keep spring in their hearts.

Over the years and during my working career holding various positions I have witnessed some truly amazing things, but, also seen and heard things that make me my blood boil.

I am appalled when people are dissmissive of our aged friends and family members who have so much to offer from their personal wisdom and even perhaps their local and social history knowledge.  Additionally, those who deem fit of ignoring people in wheelchairs…only yesterday whilst out shopping I met an amazing lady of advancing years who had great character and looked stunning and her wheelchair was only a barrier for those with a closed mind. The encounter was brief but memorable.

My professional working projects with the elderly have brought me great joy and borne friendships that I will never forget. It has been a real privilege during one-to-one session work to get to know individuals and their personal stories.

As I was only saying yesterday to one of my own mentors nothing in life that we do is a waste and we go on learning. Exercising patience, love, kindness and understanding can enrich the lives of others and of course our own!