The value of life -A Mother’s Love

If one googles ‘the value of life’ all sorts of quotes will come up. The one I wish to share today though are lines taken from the poem by Helen Steiner Rice:-

‘The value of life is not measured in length but in deeds’

It reminds me of one of the many quotes from my own amazing mentor and mother:

‘The time to be good to people is when they are here..too late when they are gone’

It may seem obvious but in our busy lives we forget this sometimes she also taught us to be grateful something modern day people forget. In remembering to be grateful we actually become happier so it’s simple but oh so effective.

Currently reading: ‘The things you can see only when you slow down‘ by Haemin Sunim.

As with most books I read of this nature I hear mum’s voice and this voice was the reason I wrote and produced my kindle book  ‘A Mother’s Love’ available from Amazon to download:-

Kindness

A grey Monday morning may leave one feeling a bit miserable but turning our focus to something that inspires us and makes us happy is a good start to the week.

I still maintain that being kind to those we come into contact with gives us the opportunity to grow, be the bigger person and start that karma account which will return positive things in the future.

There are some people we encounter where being kind can prove a real challenge and there we have it…the challenge..so accept it, reflect a while and agree that the option to still be kind is the right one. We never know what journey that difficult person has been on which has led them to come out scratching but do we have to react? No.

The one thing we all have is the ability to chose how we behaviour we have no control over others… but we can perhaps encourage them to feel better and who knows maybe act better. Kill them with kindness I say, smile keep the world guessing.

Thoughts from the crazy cat lady…so hate people that hiss!

 

Positive healing

Some years ago I attended a patient recovery meeting held at my local hospital. The staff and speakers made it quite clear that the ratio for recovery lies 20% with surgeon and 80% with patient. I will clarify by saying it was said with regards to hip and knee operations but I know it applies to far more and not just in terms of operation recovery.

If exercise is part of the recovery journey then we must do it, if rest is recommended for other treatment then we should take heed too. However, I am in no doubt, and due to own personal experience, that positive healing comes from within and how we use our mind to heal the mind and the body is vital.

Positive healing may come to us via those that love us and help us when we are suffering physically or mentally, and, the medical experts… not forgetting our wonderful nurses who tend to our practical and emotional needs when in hospital. Often a few kind words and positive approach will register far more than the pain killers.

Over the past ten years plus I have had amazing support and treatment from a London hospital and my specialist has an incredible positive presence. A few minutes of speaking with him one feels better, based on trust, his expertise and his approach to his patients.

When we are ill we are all at our most vulnerable and that is when we really truly appreciate how we are treated and supported. However, the most important person in our endeavours to be well and strong is of course ourselves. Applying mindfulness, being positive, but realistic in our step at a time recovery will enable us to achieve our goal.

Keeping fit and positive in mind will always help us to recover from any illness or help us come to terms with any limitations that illness may bring, it should be preventative rather than cure. However, if we are struggling it is better to be honest and talk to those that can help…but only if they know.

A Dr  uttered a few simple words to me once ‘you will get through this‘ and he was right I did. But his faith and positivity have never been forgotten.

 

Oesophageal Cancer -OPA

My regular followers will know there are a few cancer charities and conditions that I like to support with awareness. Oesophageal Cancer is one which is dear to my own heart.

In the past I was happy to donate my own story to the OPA -Oesophageal Patients Association and continue to help with awareness. Anybody that has worked within the not-for-profit sector and/or medical and health environments know the value of awareness and of course research.

The OPA now have various support groups and their website http://www.opa.org.uk is well-worth visiting both as a patient and/or a carer of supportive family member.

Sadly Oesophageal cancers are often either misdiagnosed or not diagnosed. Also far too many of us self-diagnose what we believe to be ‘indigestion’ and reach for the well advertised remedies. This was the case with my own mother who did not receive the right treatment in time but certainly took a lot of ‘remedies’ encouraged by her GP!

As today’s blog is ‘listening themed’ listen to your body it is trying to tell you what is wrong; emotionally and physically which are of course more often than not inter-linked. Find out why it is reacting the way it is; diet…stress..or medical? Masking symptoms may be a short term fix but becomes the longer term problem.

Our digestive system is of course similar to our brain..rubbish in rubbish out! Seriously, if you are looking for a good book  and ways to be kinder to your own system:

The clever guts diet’  by Dr Mosley is an informative and interesting read.

Be mindful..eat slowly.

Closing comment Yes chocolate (with dark and high cocoa content) is good for you.

 

The many uses of music

Those that know me well know I am a music lover always have been. Music can lift our souls, get our feet tapping and motivate us in so many ways. Some say music breathes life into our soul and I tend to agree. Writing for songwriters is also therapeutic and enables them to tell their story.

Let’s be honest those epic films we know and love would be nothing without the music score setting the mood, the drama and emotion.

It is a well documented fact that those people with speech challenges i.e. stammering, their stammer seems to disappear when they sing.

Recently I watched a teacher (Christian Foley) using his amazing ability to rap making his lessons more interesting for his students with great results. It immediately reminded me of an old Welsh History teacher who taught us the Kings and Queens of England by reciting a rhyming poem/song – which to my own amazement I can still recite. Moreover I remain amazed he could recite them himself after a lunchtime tipple which was a regular event in those days.

I use music therapy within sessions with dementia clients to help stimulate happy memories and prompt discussions giving an insight into their lives with beautiful results.

For me life would be impossible without my music, an old fashioned girl; a loft full of vinyl and my little CD player still brings hours of joy whilst studying.

As my mum used to say ‘music gets my motor running!’ How true.

Musical bumps

Musical bumps…and I don’t mean the game we played as children which I believe the fun police have said is now too dangerous!!

I am referring to when we hear a piece of music or a song and we are immediately transported back in time to a memory, a place or a person. These ‘bumps’ can of course be great prompts to bring back happy memories and in my work with dementia clients this can prove invaluable.

On the other hand one can hear a piece of music which may remind us of a loved one we have lost and we may feel reflective and saddened, but even those feelings are useful in helping us to allow our bereavement process and healing to continue.

Let’s face it the music score creates the scene, the atmosphere and the moods in any great film as the amazing John Williams has continued to prove over some four decades. Personally, I would be lost without my music whether it is lifting a mood or emotive to shed a tear or two.

My music list and appreciation is both long and eclectic and in case a certain man is reading my blog today…we had Barber.

Positive Monday

Mondays can be a bit of a drag some weeks even for the most positive soul. But isn’t it great when the week starts off with positive news? Over the past months I have had the privilege of helping a few friends, family and clients with keeping motivated after interviews have been non-productive.

Often the reasons we don’t get that brilliant job we felt we were made for are nothing whatsoever to do with us, our skills, or how we performed on interview…and sometimes it is because something better is out there with our name on it.

However, getting back on the job-seeking horse can be daunting when our self-esteem has taken a knocking, and would-be-employers or agents saying ‘you were over qualified’ is just simply unhelpful.

Sometimes we just have to be patient and that great opportunity will come along and have our name on it and all is perfect in the world. So for one talented young man, who may read my blog today well done…I am almost as thrilled as you.

As for me; well I had a surprisingly high mark on my first assignment on my  latest course. The first one is always the hardest… getting back into the swing of studying and trying to gauge whether one has ‘done enough’ to please the tutors is often daunting. We are never too old to accept positive feedback nor be excited to receive a great mark!

I am now in an excellent place, to a) start assignment number two and b) see what Tuesday holds.

Support for eating disorders

Recently watched the Panorama programme dedicated to eating disorders in men and boys presented by Nigel Owens the Rugby referee. Worrying stats were revealed of young men being affected by eating disorders with 42% increase in referrals over the last two years.

As with most mental illnesses intervention early really does aid success for recovery. Sadly youngsters wait far too long for referrals for support help and often are turned down because of shortage of staff and a variety of other factors.

We all keep hearing how the government are investing billions into this area with aims to see children within four weeks, one week for real emergencies! In reality this will be impossible to achieve meanwhile a lot of male youngsters suffer in silence.

The documentary covered various cases demonstrating the devestating affects on the body and mind with 13 -17 most at high risk. It revealed facts from support agencies; Beat charity receive 20,000 calls a year. Often eating disorders are viewed as ‘female illnesses’ when this is clearly no longer the case – even so this ‘assumption’ can make it harder for parents and GP’s to recognise/diagnose.

As ever modern media plays its part in making youngsters concerned about their visual appearance and so it starts. Often eating disorders are associated with boys who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality too.

Nigel closed the episode by saying it is a strength to admit one has a problem not a weakness, and advising viewers not to be like him still suffering some 27 years on. Get help and stay one step a head and have a chance of recovering.

 

‘Growing up Gay’

I have to agree with recent media comments that everyone whether Gay or not should watch Olly Alexander’s documentary ‘Growing up Gay’.  It gave a very honest insight into the many problems that teenagers have in coming to terms with sexuality. It covered bullying within schools, self harming and eating disorders as well as drug addiction.

As ever it included worrying statistics about the mental health issues that young people face and the damage and low self-esteem often from rejection by parents…sometimes leading to homelessness for many.

However, Olly also allowed cameras to film his participation in Diversity Role Model schemes being rolled out in some schools, with positive statistics that 40% of students used homophobic vocabulary before the sessions and reducing to 15% after.

Those that regular follow my blog know I do my bit to support anti-bullying and again this programme showed how students suffer in silence preferring not to tell the school or their family.

I whole heartedly agree with Olly’s comments that awareness and consideration to LBGT should form part of sex education within schools, the earlier we are encouraged to be accepting of others the better.

I know that as with other similar documentaries Olly’s will hopefully encourage those struggling to talk to somebody and get support.

Be kind to one another this weekend and remember to ask ‘how are doing?’ and be willing to listen. Be that friend.