Social skills

A Mother’s love and instinct

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They say there is nothing to match the love of a mother for her child and recent research has proven that part of a baby’s brain DNA is transposed to it’s mother whilst in the womb. This may indeed explain the strong bond and natural instinct as in when we sense our child is in trouble though the miles may keep us apart.

I always encourage those around me to learn a new word every day and my own word today is ‘arohanui’ which is word from the Maori language and I am reliably informed that it means:-

‘A love so big it is an ocean’

Those of us lucky enough to be parents will know that to be true..to the moon and back we so often say too.

I had an amazing relationship with my own mother and some of this magic and pearls of wisdom I have captured in my own book now available from Amazon Kindle:-

‘A Mother’s Love’..Gospels according to Dorothy.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

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National Writing Day

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To me every day is a writing day but I must confess I love these allocated awareness days that pop up encouraging people to eat certain foods, donate to charity and maybe inspire a new or even a young writer to be creative.

I have always maintained that writing can be therapeutic..so even if you don’t intend anybody to see your efforts getting down your thoughts and feelings is never a waste of energy. For the crazier ones (like me) start a blog and get sharing. I like to think at a certain level some of my posts are helping others to recognise their feelings and, in the case of bereavement, are not alone in the grief.

Of course being a writer, and perhaps adopting a pen name gives one the opportunity to rant to the world and/or live in a time of fantasy where anything is possible.

Naturally, being an olde fashioned girlie I some times frown at how modern technology has to a certain degree stopped people communicating properly verbally but as equally sad writing properly. Let’s face it the best misuse of the wonderful English language is alive and kicking in everybody’s phone’s inbox!!

I know I am not myself if I haven’t written anything and feel almost guilty for missing a day on my blog. Thank you to all those followers who drop me a comment or a like that they have enjoyed or supported one of my daily blogs it’s great to know I am not talking to myself…or at least not all the time!

A Mother’s Love

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I still find on a day to day basis whether writing, counselling or just talking with friends over dinner I never fail to mention my amazing mentor, my mother.

As a family we were extremely fortunate to have such a strong character guiding us through life. I finally got around this year to writing some of her teachings down.

‘A Mother’s Love‘ Gospels according to Dorothy is available to download from Amazon kindle under my own name (Annie Manning) rather than one of my pen names! I hope my regular followers will enjoy reading this emotive project and find one or two gems to help them too.

Mother-s love (1)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

 

Keeping the life and work balance

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For some time now I have included career coaching naturally within my work both with corporate clients and counselling clients; for the latter it is of course no secret that problems within relationships either at work and/or at home overlap. We all need to feel valued and appreciated in all areas of our life to keep a positive balance and purpose to our life.

It is very easy for any of us to take our loved ones and/or work colleagues for granted I guess in some ways it is a compliment that we feel comfortable enough to do it…however we do so at our own peril at times. As I always maintain, it is far better to be honest and tell others how we really feel about a situation as holding back can often come back to bite us at a later date.

I know I rant about the power of communication but unless we share how we feel how can we expect others to know? Keeping the peace often seems the best option but can lead to feelings of resentment later down the line. Yes, life is a compromise but as wise lady once told me  ‘Don’t allow others to change who you are’ when we do we run the risk of living somebody else’s dream instead of our own.

It is very hard trying to keep everyone in our family,work and friendship happy..so don’t try. Better to be a giver I know but we cannot possibly be expected to be the source of everyone’s happiness it’s just too big a job for one man/woman.

We can all just aspire to doing the very best we can whilst considering the feelings of others along the way. As ever feeling grateful for what we have to enjoy today makes our own feelings of contentment easier to achieve.

 

 

 

Communication is our best tool

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Known as the Redbourn Rambler I can talk the hind legs of any ass …but let’s not get political this morning…  All joking aside I am always ready to have a healthy debate and allow friends and family to openly discuss anything that is troubling them. This has always been the case long before I gained my various counselling qualifications.

Whilst I am a great believer in injecting a bit of humour to lighten the mood I always take matters seriously working on the basis that what may well seem trivia to any of us may be the end of the world to a.n.other.

Which ever way we choose to support and be active in any relationship there is no doubt that communication is still our best tool.  For those working with students and teenagers I hope my latest article on Innovate My School‘s website is of interest:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/combating-student-stress-through-communication

Most importantly we must be mindful that during the time of exams and indeed when awaiting their results students get very stressed. Let’s all be extra vigilant and keep them safe from harm. Remembering that the teenage brain is not fully developed in terms of reasoning and they have not yet gained all the life skills to cope with stress…that comes with age and maturity.

Combating student stress

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As part of mental health awareness week our fabulous Editor James Cain at Innovate My School has published my article today on combating student stress through communication.

I am always happy to donate to this website which is a really brilliant tool for teachers and professionals within the education sector.

I hope my followers will enjoy reading my latest piece, link follows:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/combating-student-stress-through-communication

The way we think

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We all too frequently use the term ‘glass half empty/full’ when really we may be identifying a friend or colleague’s viewpoint as negative or positive. To a certain degree that is true but on a much deeper level a lot of what we achieve and/or fear in life is down to whether or not we are problem thinking or outcome thinking.

Most of us as we become adult take on board that in life we have to take responsibilities for our actions and make positive steps to achieve our goals and lead a happier life.

It all sounds so simple but for many of course that is not the case. So many people have fixed stumbling blocks which prevent them from getting on with their life and realising their ambitions and dreams.

If our negativity is in relation to our career prospects then telling ourselves we will never improve our situation or get that better paid job is problem thinking whereas if we look realistically at learning new skills to secure that position ..we are outcome thinking.

As I have said only recently when chewing the cud with a special somebody…the brain really is like a sponge and the more we learn the more confident we become.

I know I am fortunate in that I have never lost the hunger to learn new things but for those that are struggling consider seeking some NLP Life and Work skills counselling as that dream may easier to live and closer than you think. As for those stumbling blocks they can be knocked down, walked around or even jumped over..now there’s encouragement for a Monday morning eh?

International Women’s Day

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Today I salute all my fabulous female friends, family members and fellow female colleagues, and of course, fellow writers…we are all doing an amazing job.

Only yesterday I was discussing with a close female friend how great we all are, the way we juggle and prioritise on our feet day by day all year long. The devotion we give to our families and if appropriate our clients too.

For many of us if we have had the added bonus of great mentors along the way even better; mine was my beautiful mother and then a female barrister in my mid-twenties both of whom encouraged me to be the best I can and embrace new challenges.

Celebrate being a successful woman but be mindful of those who live in other countries where opportunities are for some non-existent and/or have a real struggle to just survive let alone flourish.

A special message of love and respect to my wonderful daughter who is blossoming into a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every day.

Huge thank you to all those inspirational women who when met with adversity or personal loss channel their energy into achieving great things which benefit us all.

 

Work experience and social skills

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Many of the more sensible students will have secured volunteering positions for half term and for those of you that were not as proactive or unlucky in your endeavours don’t be disheartened.

Now is the time to start approaching charities and organisations for the forthcoming Easter break. I know parents and teachers alike will be encouraging students to get work experience and improve their social skills.

What students have to bear in mind is that being a great academic is not enough your future university will be looking for characters with a good and interesting CV. Showing personal skills and ability to contribute something of value.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

Not to worry

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Some people are born worriers and will never grasp that worrying about things will not change them or give them control. Indeed half of our worries we never have. A few years ago I attended an interesting talk about body language and the speaker Vic Botterill gave a statistical break down on our worries or should I say what we perceive as our worries.

40% will never happen

30% related to the past which one cannot do anything about

12% unfounded health concerns

10% too petty to even worry about

4% substantially beyond our control

Totalling a resounding 96% leaving 4% so not much to worry about then!

*Stats courtesy of Vic Botterill

Seriously, though many people spend far too much time stressing over the small stuff and as a close family member said recently since facing bereavement it helps one to put things into perspective.

Of course there is another way to help with matters causing you anxiety and that is of course to talk about them. The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

There has been a lot of press coverage of late encouraging people to be happy, grateful and to communicate more and that doesn’t mean via facebook or texting. Indeed the modern technology that everybody allows to run their lives leaves many young people facing feelings of negativity and many feeling their life isn’t as beautiful or as good as everyone else’s.

The reality is those images are not the real life and often people hide behind the smile of their selfies. So my message for the weekend is to go out and live your life and have real conversations with real people and, teens, trust me you won’t learn valuable social skills being glued to your phone!

Tell those you love that you love them and if appropriate what is worrying you as they would want to know.

Vic…if you are reading my blog today have a great weekend.