Many years ago I published a fund raising publication raising funds and awareness for a cancer charity one of my lovely writers at that time donated a piece entitled ‘Empty Spaces’ which talked about the empty places at functions at his local cricket club as one by one his dear friends were gradually dying around him.
I am mindful that last weekend a lot of people will have experienced Father’s Day without their Dad, (myself included) and may have found the day difficult. I have heard it often said that grief is the price we end up paying for loving those we hold dear.
As I discussed over the weekend with a personal friend the intensity of our grief is related to the depth of the relationship we had with the family member or friend that has died. As usual, one of my positive reminders I like to share is to celebrate their life rather than focus on the way they died or what caused their death. I.e. Cancer, heart attack, stroke, a tragic accident and possibly suicide.
The time to tell those you love them is of course whilst they are here and you may just be saying it on a day that they really need to hear it and appreciate it. As always we keep those we love alive, in part, in our mind and in our hearts.
We are pretty bad at complaining in this country and if something or somebody upsets us too often we talk about it but don’t find time to complain. Of course there are ways of complaining, staying calm but getting one’s point across…and after all if we don’t give the company or individual an opportunity to apologise and/or put things right they will never learn or value their customers.
Equally we are just as bad at writing to show thanks and appreciation too. If we are impressed about service then say so we all need praising how ever old we are.
It is never easy starting a new business and I wish the ladies running the new tea rooms in my village good luck. The Enchanted Tea Rooms is just what we needed in our sleepy village (Redbourn) a place to meet friends other than a franchise coffee shop. The decor is fab it’s like walking into a cross between Laura Ashley and your Nan’s sitting room.
Not only can you get a cream tea but they serve all sorts of healthy prepared on the spot lunches and snacks. Your afternoon tea can be booked in advance for parties with the offer of Prosecco or Champagne…what’s not to like?
I hope the villagers make the effort to support this new addition to our High Street and make it a success for the ladies and keep it open for years to come.
This week a business colleague and I chose to leave our cars, take a walk and have our catch up meeting there and we were not disappointed, service was friendly and the food was good.
I am pleased to see so much media coverage recently about dementia awareness and the importance of support for the carers and family. This is a very cruel disease often stripping a loved one away beyond recognition.
Families who are bewildered by the challenge and naturally untrained to deal with the personality change in their loved ones are often left to struggle. Please, please seek help, look towards The Alzheimer’s and Dementia charities for valuable information and support.
Today we hear Barbara Windsor’s own personal fight has become public and fans will wish her and her husband well. It is a brave step but one which will raise the profile and highlight the ever increasing cases in the UK. I heard today one case is diagnosed every four minutes and of course many cases remain undiagnosed as patients put symptoms down to just the ageing process.
Here’s to all the carers out there today that give of themselves so tirelessly and devoted to those they love. It is important that partners/carers have respite and time to continue pursuits they enjoy too though many feel guilty if they do… unwarrantedly.
I have just returned from a funeral and we all take what ‘fits well’ for us from the minister’s address. What was particularly nice today was the minister knew the deceased and her family well and it was personal. What I really liked was how he reminded the bereaved that the community were there for them, and in this case it really was true. We were all there to celebrate a life and were united in that.
As I always say in life we only get out what we are prepared to put in and when people give of themselves to others it is no hardship for that kindness to be returned. During the day’s events I had some interesting discussions with various attendees; both friends and family members who openly shared their feelings about loved ones they had lost.
I had a great chat with a lovely elderly lady and we agreed how comforting it is when nice things are said…but more importantly we discussed how it is also true of telling those we love them and appreciate them when they are alive.
I often post saying tell those you love today and every day. Live your life well and as I said to one lady have that second ice-cream..especially on a hot day like today.
Not only have we been blessed with amazing weather this weekend but many of us are blessed with having a loving family. I count myself in this category and had a beautiful day Saturday at a family wedding. I won’t name names but my niece looked absolutely stunning, and, as she walked to meet her wonderful hubby-to-be a few tears were shed by many a woman…and a few men.
There is nothing better than being surrounded by all generations of family at such special events, and our family has many interesting layers including second marriages. We are really lucky that we all mix well and enjoy each other’s company…we are family and that is all that matters. For a lovely lady that reads my blog you looked fab in that pink dress and you rock that sparkling cane!
I am apologising publicly for my ‘mum dancing’ no excuses as I was sober – that’s the way I dance!!
Along with the joy of celebrating a beautiful union of a great couple there were moments of reflection of those who are no longer with us to share the day. Indeed, this was even acknowledged within the speeches. At the end of the evening I collected flowers from the tables and yesterday placed them at church in memory of my own mother who I know would be so proud of all her children, grandchildren and now great grandchildren.
I had an interesting chat with my local minister and we agreed that it is only human to think of those we have loved and lost at times of celebrations and shed tears of happiness for that love we remember and hold dear.
If you know somebody who is recently bereaved make time to see them and allow them to talk freely about their loved one it really does help.