elderly

Abusing trust

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I have felt it a real privilege to work with clients with dementia and their families. Any caring profession carries a great deal of trust and as I discussed recently with a colleague staff are checked for suitability… we assume!

I am saddened and deeply so at the news today showing the filming of a carer slapping a lady with dementia who was left in her care. Where is the respect for a fellow human being and especially for somebody elderly and with such difficult challenges to face?

I am also alarmed at some of the actions of those working in nursing homes, again one assumes staff are trained to administer patience, caring and understanding under the umbrella of palliative care. For those that are vulnerable and sometimes too afraid to speak out, staff that bully and intimidate should be ashamed of themselves. If you cannot offer kindness then don’t work with the elderly.

This country really is failing our elderly – I know my generation were brought up to respect our elders – it’s a shame the government are not being more proactive in their policing of private nursing homes where it often appears that making a profit is higher up the priority than providing good care. Let’s face it the homes charge residents and their families a fortune weekly and for some families this is the only alternative when they can no longer cope with elderly parents with any disability.

Yes, I am ranting but we ignore these facts too readily…it’s just unacceptable! I acknowledge that there are some great nursing homes and dedicated staff running them but one resident being abused is one too many!

The best friend

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Mother-s love (1)

The best friend we may ever have may well be our own mother. Regular followers will know I often share little gems of advice from my own great mentor. After many years of quoting her words of wisdom last year I finally got around to writing some of them down. ‘A Mother’s love’ …Gospels according to Dorothy is available from Amazon Kindle  at £3.99 and includes some good spiritual advice.

Written from the heart I hope my book will help others especially those who may have lost their mother and maybe their sense of purpose. Remember we keep our loved ones alive by remembering them.  **Cover illustration courtesy of my talented nephew Paul Manning

Special people

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In life people enter our life and we may not know the reason why at the time.  They may appear for just a while or they may remain a constant in our life. However, these people help shape our lives, give it purpose perhaps but the special ones certainly make a difference.

As I have discussed frequently the past few weeks it is not the length of the friendship but the depth, the kindness the person may extend and how they encourage you to broaden your own horizons.

Over the years of freelancing I have worked with some amazing people with creativity and talent that I hope in some small way always rubs off on me. Some clients we are glad when the assignment ends whilst others will end up being friends outside of the work we do with them.

This week I am remembering a very special lady who it was a real privilege to spend time with and I will cherish every experience for a long time to come. As a result of the opportunity I have been able to, expand my own knowledge, help other families and gain a valuable insight into the challenge of living with dementia.

In life whatever we are doing we should endeavour to make it count, make us reflect who we are and how we can improve the lives of those we also touch.

Have a great weekend fellow bloggers and my great followers be inspired, be positive and keep healthy.

Fighting our fears

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Fighting our personal fears is a daunting prospect, but those fears may be holding us back from realising our dreams and even living a normal life. I have just watched the emotive ‘School for Stammerers‘ on ITV. What an amazing, sad yet hopeful documentary showing the journey of a group of mixed aged stammerers attending a course to help them control their speech problems.

As with many things in life the psychological impact runs deep and expressed in the show as being 90% fear for those with a stammer. It revealed how those suffering build up barriers preventing them from leading normal lives.

The course was a huge success with one thirteen year old boy saying ‘The course changed my life as I am free.‘ Being able to control their stammer all participants gained new lives,  were far more confident and with some being able to secure their personal and professional dreams. Whereas prior to the course even saying their own names was a real emotional struggle.

This is one well worth watching but be warned it will need the tissue box handy.

Making it count

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My regular followers will know I talk often about living a day at a time and making it count. I also encourage kindness and remind people often it is a strength not a weakness.

In life, if we are lucky, special people come into our lives, our paths will cross and unexpectedly we learn so much. I am also personally aware that a dearest friend may not have necessarily been in one’s life a long time for that person to make such a difference and have a positive impact either.

For personal reasons I have been re-visiting some of my favourite poems, one of which was given to me when my mother died ‘How do you live your dash‘ an extract follows:-

‘I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning to the end

He noted that first came her date of birth and spoke the later date with tears

But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time she spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth

For it matters not how much we own, the cars, the house, the cash

What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand the way other people feel’

So, if you have people in your life that you love, then tell them so today, don’t save the words just for ‘special occasions’ as today is that special occasion!

 

 

Cherishing the elderly

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I was once told that I was born old…had an old soul! Maybe this is why I have always had a great affinity with those in their Autumn years especially those who keep spring in their hearts.

Over the years and during my working career holding various positions I have witnessed some truly amazing things, but, also seen and heard things that make me my blood boil.

I am appalled when people are dissmissive of our aged friends and family members who have so much to offer from their personal wisdom and even perhaps their local and social history knowledge.  Additionally, those who deem fit of ignoring people in wheelchairs…only yesterday whilst out shopping I met an amazing lady of advancing years who had great character and looked stunning and her wheelchair was only a barrier for those with a closed mind. The encounter was brief but memorable.

My professional working projects with the elderly have brought me great joy and borne friendships that I will never forget. It has been a real privilege during one-to-one session work to get to know individuals and their personal stories.

As I was only saying yesterday to one of my own mentors nothing in life that we do is a waste and we go on learning. Exercising patience, love, kindness and understanding can enrich the lives of others and of course our own!

New year…support Alzheimer’s Society

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How many of us make promises at the beginning of the new year to start that diet, join that yoga or dance class or de-clutter our homes only to find before mid-January we are still talking about it?? One thing we can all easily do though is to add supporting a charity to our list and do something worthwhile.

I know last year mine was to have a real de-clutter…I bought lots of plastic boxes and archive files and did make a start..then found anything and everything was more fun than carrying on. Maybe this year I will complete the task especially as, yes, you have guessed it…I have more clutter and far more paperwork and leaflets from the various charities I like to work with and support.

Again I intend to ressurrect my neglected writing projects and although I did manage to start back on my courses I found my own projects were set aside as I set myself on a mission to understand more about dementia and how it affects patients and their families. I have been privileged to work with families and it is apparrent that without charities such as Alzheimer’s being able to supply such great information and support families that those diagnosed are pretty much left to it.

Yes we need more funding from the government but also more dedicated from GP’s and more awareness genrally. Personally, I believe we need love, kindness and understanding and over Christmas my tree representing this theme (in support of Alzheimer’s Society) took pride of place in the lady chapel at St Saviours Church. My sincere thanks to the church and staff for all their great organising of the event and, of course, my lovely niece Sarah from Visual Merchandising for dressing the tree in corporate but festive attire.

 

xmas tree

Animal love -therapeutic

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I saw on GMB TV this morning a great community idea of joining elderly who may be lonely with a scheme of looking after chickens. Often people under-estimate the value and joy of working and caring with animals. Having kept chickens, raised from a few days old, I know the more you inter-act the calmer and more friendly they become and are all such characters. Not forgetting the amazing fresh egss!

My chickens Dolly and Daisy are now running around in that great coup in the sky pictured below at a hen party.

 

hen night! 15-06-08_1722 - Copy

 

Xmas Tree Festival

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St Saviour’s Tree Festival is in full swing. I visited Sunday to see all the amazing trees decorated and sponsored by local charities and organisations.

This year there are two lovely memory trees where one can add a message in memory of a loved one lost. As we know it is a times like Christmas when we may be missing and remembering somebody we have lost this year. As I often post bereavement is not an overnight process and for those mourning the pressure to feel happy and festive can be overwhelming. For those who may have nursed a loved one with cancer the bereavement journey can be a complicated one with delayed grief mixed with feelings of relief that a loved one is no longer suffering.

Stroke Association

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For any of my followers who may be recovering from a stroke or caring and supporting a family member of friend who has then please visit The Stroke Association’s website.

Having a stroke is extremely difficult emotionally as well as physically and this amazing charity has great support and information available.

Recovery really can be a step at a time, a day at a time, and, survivors need patience, positivity, love and understanding.