fathers

‘Growing up Gay’

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I have to agree with recent media comments that everyone whether Gay or not should watch Olly Alexander’s documentary ‘Growing up Gay’.  It gave a very honest insight into the many problems that teenagers have in coming to terms with sexuality. It covered bullying within schools, self harming and eating disorders as well as drug addiction.

As ever it included worrying statistics about the mental health issues that young people face and the damage and low self-esteem often from rejection by parents…sometimes leading to homelessness for many.

However, Olly also allowed cameras to film his participation in Diversity Role Model schemes being rolled out in some schools, with positive statistics that 40% of students used homophobic vocabulary before the sessions and reducing to 15% after.

Those that regular follow my blog know I do my bit to support anti-bullying and again this programme showed how students suffer in silence preferring not to tell the school or their family.

I whole heartedly agree with Olly’s comments that awareness and consideration to LBGT should form part of sex education within schools, the earlier we are encouraged to be accepting of others the better.

I know that as with other similar documentaries Olly’s will hopefully encourage those struggling to talk to somebody and get support.

Be kind to one another this weekend and remember to ask ‘how are doing?’ and be willing to listen. Be that friend.

Tell somebody you love them now

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My amazing mother and mentor frequently reminded us as children that the time to be good to somebody is when they are here. These words of wisdom spoke often were her own form of mindfulness, reminding us that today was for living and that showing those that we care in thoughts, words or deed should always be high on our personal agenda.

I have just watched a short but touchingly emotive film ‘Our hearts are bigger’. It shows how a couple dealing with Dementia write beautiful love letters to one another and read them to help the challenge of memory loss that this sad illness steals. In many ways loved ones face a type of bereavement as they are forced to accept they are losing the person they knew and loved.

Dementia, causes, prevention and on-going care is being featured within all forms of news media this week and the increased awareness is well over due.

Being isolated and having feelings of isolation are common factors and anything any of us can do to help enrich the lives of carers and dementia sufferers can really make an impact.

And, as my mother used to say in reality we can only live a day at a time so make it count.

‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy…now available from Amazon Kindle.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

 

 

you care

Support charities

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In whichever area one has chosen as a career path we must continue to be mindful and recognise our limitations and when we need to refer a matter onto another professional or organisation. Never more so,  than in the area of counselling.

With the ever increasing cases of childhood abuse in the public eye those who have suffered a childhood trauma are finally finding a voice. Thankfully there are some amazing support charities around with helplines manned by great counsellors who can help them through the process as an adult rather than through the eyes of a frightened child.

Today, as part of my own research and development I contacted The Survivors Trust and was met with great advice from an experienced and positive counsellor.  For those in need or supporting a friend or family member please visit their website: http://www.thesurvivorstrust.org. Their helpline is: 0808 8010818

Nobody needs to suffer in silence and/or feel they are alone talking things through really does help..albeit one tiny step at a time.

Keeping the life and work balance

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For some time now I have included career coaching naturally within my work both with corporate clients and counselling clients; for the latter it is of course no secret that problems within relationships either at work and/or at home overlap. We all need to feel valued and appreciated in all areas of our life to keep a positive balance and purpose to our life.

It is very easy for any of us to take our loved ones and/or work colleagues for granted I guess in some ways it is a compliment that we feel comfortable enough to do it…however we do so at our own peril at times. As I always maintain, it is far better to be honest and tell others how we really feel about a situation as holding back can often come back to bite us at a later date.

I know I rant about the power of communication but unless we share how we feel how can we expect others to know? Keeping the peace often seems the best option but can lead to feelings of resentment later down the line. Yes, life is a compromise but as wise lady once told me  ‘Don’t allow others to change who you are’ when we do we run the risk of living somebody else’s dream instead of our own.

It is very hard trying to keep everyone in our family,work and friendship happy..so don’t try. Better to be a giver I know but we cannot possibly be expected to be the source of everyone’s happiness it’s just too big a job for one man/woman.

We can all just aspire to doing the very best we can whilst considering the feelings of others along the way. As ever feeling grateful for what we have to enjoy today makes our own feelings of contentment easier to achieve.

 

 

 

Father’s Day

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Father’s day tomorrow and I know like many of my friends and family members who no longer have these special men around to celebrate with that these marketing led days are a big reminder.

There was a phone in yesterday of what would you like to tell your father if he was still alive. A nice idea though the time to be good to people and tell them we love them and/or discuss what really matters is when they are still with us in body, mind and spirit rather than when we are keeping their memory alive in our hearts.

I know so many people have regrets about not mending bridges with parents and if we lose them suddenly that opportunity has been missed. So if you are lucky enough to still have your dad around then have that chat, tell him you love him and not just on birthdays and fathers day!

As I write my blog today I am looking at a photo of my daughter aged three weeks being bathed by her dad having previously waved them off this morning for a pre-father’s day lunch outing.

Earlier today I was having a quick tidy round and had a good long look at my own father’s photo, he died when I was only seven so I feel that always qualifies me to tell others to appreciate theirs!  It is also coming up to his birthday and he would have been 95.

So if distance is a problem miles or relationship wise pick up the phone and call yours today.