friendships

Stop the bullies

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My regular followers will know I like to help with awareness of seeking support for bullying. The worrying fact being very few victims of bullying actually find the courage to talk to somebody, thus giving the bullies ultimate control.

Speaking earlier this week to a well-respected childminder she agreed that bullying can start at a very early age in school and if parents are made aware they must take this up with their children’s school.

Yesterday they had a phone-in on the subject of bullying on Good Morning TV programme with a heartbreaking story from a parent with a seven year old son being the subject of horrendous bullying. At whatever age we fall prey to bullying it has a detrimental affect on not just our wellbeing but our self-esteem.

Bullies themselves are unhappy children/adults and those that grow out of this cowardly act often go on to suffer with depression. Please visit Anti-Bullying Alliance’s website for advice and online courses.

Please read my article on Innovate my School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Keeping positive

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Maintaining a positive outlook can be a real challenge for most of us as life throws a curved ball that we were not expecting. There is no secret to coping with life but by staying mindful and keeping things in perspective we can at least get through the day without being consumed by the stress of a situation.

Coping with life’s rich tapestry we hope gets easier with age but that is not always the case and we are never too old to seek advice and support. My continued advice when asked is to communicate about what is troubling us and this doesn’t always have to be with a family member or close friend. It can often be more useful to speak to somebody from outside our unit who can remain unbiased and focused on the subject matter and in some circumstances provide constructive help and emotional support.

I know that I was extremely fortunate that I could discuss anything with my mother, and I would be lying to my followers and myself if I didn’t admit that this void has been hard to fill since she died. Equally when I have good news and want to share it with her I will possibly share with somebody else now.

I guess what I am saying is whatever you need to share there is always somebody around who is interested you just have to open up and give them that opportunity. Keeping things bottled up never really works in the long-term and either talking and/or writing will prove a therapeutic release and reduce stress related illnesses.

 

Touching lives

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During our lives we will meet many people along the way some remain and some are just passing. Some we remain friends with the rest of our lives and they became part of our chosen family.

These ‘adopted family’ touch our lives in so many ways and more often than not enrich them albeit in tiny ways and we enjoy their company every time we meet up. I wonder do we ever tell them how special they actually are and the impact they have had on our lives though?

This weekend a close family friend died suddenly and has always been present at any family special ocassion…to us he was family and I sincerely hope he realised that. He was the epitome of a gentleman and was indeed a gentle man.

For family members who follow my blog you will know who I am referring to and we all know he will forever hold a special place in our hearts. No doubt he will soon be laughing in heaven with our beloved mum and sharing stories.

 

 

‘A Mother’s Love’

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‘A Mother’s Love’ will soon be available to download from Amazon. One of my own projects written whilst being a mature student passing my counselling qualifications and reflecting on my own personal journey and my relationship with my amazing mother. Extract from my book’s introduction:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Annie Manning MASC (CBT) ©

 

Let’s get kissing

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On the count down to Valentine’s and what a great on-line purchase a kindle book on kissing might be?

‘The Little Book of Kisses’ by Dolly Christmas is available from Amazon to download

little-book-of-kisses

An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal sgift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the perfect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.

Valentine gift of kisses

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‘The little book of Kisses’ by Dolly Christmas is available to download from Amazon and a great amusing read and gift for this valentine’s day.

little-book-of-kisses

The author’s aim is to get more people taking kissing seriously and to make our own heat to save the planet..now there’s a thought. Save on household heating too!

Don’t forget by downloading on kindle you are saving paper and trees as well.

Cover design by Paul Manning

 

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Not to worry

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Some people are born worriers and will never grasp that worrying about things will not change them or give them control. Indeed half of our worries we never have. A few years ago I attended an interesting talk about body language and the speaker Vic Botterill gave a statistical break down on our worries or should I say what we perceive as our worries.

40% will never happen

30% related to the past which one cannot do anything about

12% unfounded health concerns

10% too petty to even worry about

4% substantially beyond our control

Totalling a resounding 96% leaving 4% so not much to worry about then!

*Stats courtesy of Vic Botterill

Seriously, though many people spend far too much time stressing over the small stuff and as a close family member said recently since facing bereavement it helps one to put things into perspective.

Of course there is another way to help with matters causing you anxiety and that is of course to talk about them. The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

There has been a lot of press coverage of late encouraging people to be happy, grateful and to communicate more and that doesn’t mean via facebook or texting. Indeed the modern technology that everybody allows to run their lives leaves many young people facing feelings of negativity and many feeling their life isn’t as beautiful or as good as everyone else’s.

The reality is those images are not the real life and often people hide behind the smile of their selfies. So my message for the weekend is to go out and live your life and have real conversations with real people and, teens, trust me you won’t learn valuable social skills being glued to your phone!

Tell those you love that you love them and if appropriate what is worrying you as they would want to know.

Vic…if you are reading my blog today have a great weekend.

Kindness

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People who know me and my regular followers will know that I often talk about kindness and its value in today’s society. I also encourage parents to recognise all the skills their children have rather than just focus on their academic success.

I am so thrilled that the younger generation of our Royal family are getting involved with charities and organisations that help people with mental health issues and are pro-active in promoting acts of kindness.

The Duchess of Cambridge yesterday was quoted as recognising kindness and respect as well as academic achievements.

Our teens today are struggling with all sorts of pressures and many suffer in isolation and modern media is of no comfort or substitute for real genuine friendships.

Help and support our youngsters they are a generation in trouble.

 

Productive Mondays

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As the crazy cat woman in the village I am constantly awake so very early in the morning increasingly becoming annoying. But today I made my mind up to make use of the ‘wide awake’ time and get cracking on the ever growing ‘to do’ list. I have crossed off so many admin jobs I now feel confident that I deserve a screen break …and yes of course a chocolate treat.

Mondays can often drag..but only if you let them. A great friend (also freelance) and I often start Mondays off with a breakfast meeting and in view of the long and unsociable hours we both dedicate to our work and voluntarily helping others.. why not!

After lunch I may even attack the Sage Accounts oh the joys of being self-employed it’s not all honey you know -multi-tasking or what.

‘A Mother’s Love’

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This week I am busy doing the final editing of my own tribute to my amazing mother.

‘A Mother’s Love’ (Gospels according to Dorothy) A work of love which I have been working on the past few years giving a small insight into how a woman left widowed with five children selflessly raised them to be positive caring individuals. This will be available shortly from Amazon so keep following my blog. A little taster:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Being a mother is such a rewarding if not challenging role.