friendships

Making the most of our time

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As I write today’s blog I am mindful of yesterday’s tram crash and how many families will be affected by the tragic accident. People going about their usual business on their way to work or college and a future planned.

At times like these I remember my mentor’s words about living a day at a time and being good to people when they are here. I heard these sentiments on a regular basis and for her generation surviving the London Blitz in the second world war they knew how lives could be changed in a moment for simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. On the eve of 11/11 we will remember them.

Life is precious as are our loved ones and close friends and where possible we must ensure to live life to full and hopefully without affecting others by our actions in a negative way. We owe it to those that lost their lives in protecting our right to freedom.

As we get older ourselves we start to lose older relatives and too often their own stories die with them, I encourage families to spend time with grandparents and find out their stories to record and treasure for future generations to come. For those families faced with the challenge of family members with dementia recollecting past stories is a good way of stimulating and communicating.

Today’s objective as always is to make the most of our time in a positive and productive way whenever we can.

Time for your projects

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I am guilty of neglecting my own projects and on a  regular basis. The art of juggling working, studying and family life is not easy for any of us.

Today I  have found time to return to one of my neglected writing projects and last editing of my:-

‘The Little Book of Kisses’ an amusing look at the art of kissing which I will shortly be putting onto kindle in time for Christmas and in readiness for Valentines 2017.

I am just hoping I can convince my extremely talented nephew to again do the honours and create a suitable cover.

 

Anti-bullying

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Later this month it is Anti-bullying awareness week and I hope the various connected charities will be well supported during this time and schools nationally take full advantage of this platform.

However, we all need to be aware of bullying every day and the various forms it takes. Additionally, the growing concerns to parents of the increase and attitude towards cyber-bullying one of the downsides of modern media.This leaves our children subjected to 24/7 attacks from those that choose this cruel way to intimidate others.

Please see my article on Innovate My School’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Be safe be aware. Some may be comforted by the fact that statistics say most bullies go on to suffer with depression in later life…I would prefer they are encouraged from an early age to STOP IT for everyone’s sake! Whereas a large proportion of victims don’t tell anybody they are being bullied an even more worrying statistic.

National Stress Awareness Day

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I have always maintained that awareness is knowledge and knowledge is power. Sadly we may apply this to our professional life but often people switch off their awareness when in the company of friends and family.

Why is this? Maybe we don’t want to pry or live in fear of not saying the right thing. What we can do though is occasionally just ask the question ‘is everything OK?’. I remember receiving sound advice at a very young age to think about other people’s 24 hours…their lives.

If somebody is maybe acting out of sorts don’t react in a negative way but try finding out what is going on as they may be really stressed about something and a few kind words and a listening ear may be just what they need to bring their stress levels down.

We never know what is troubling those we love if we don’t take the time to notice and be interested.Life can be difficult at times and remember somebody may be drowning and not just waving.

I was told once that to have that great friend you have to be that great friend.

Recently I read an article about how having a hug may be just as effective when in pain as a pain killer..I know which I prefer.

Black cat day

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Today is the Cats Protection League’s black cat day in an attempt to encourage would-be pet owners to consider re-homing a black cat.Not sure what the reasons are but it would seem many a lovely black cat struggles to be adopted.

We have two fab black cats one was a rescue cat and has been a joy to have.Slightly amused they have chosen to have this awareness day near Halloween but in our house they are considered good luck.

The various charities who support the elderly in our communities are aware just how many people living on their own are lonely and bringing a pet into their lives can bring a new lease of life. Of course a cat is  a great lap companion for those who cannot get out and about. Cat has the added bonus of no need for walking it in the rain!  (Sorry dog lovers)

Additionally it is well documented that having and stroking a pet cat or dog lowers one’s blood pressure ..so a healthy addition to the family too.

Down’s Syndrome Awareness

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This morning I watched the extremely emotive, empowering and brilliant advertisement in support of Down’s Syndrome run by Mencap.

Thankfully some of the myths and ignorance of the 1960’s has been replaced with more awareness and correct information to empower those children with Down’s. Slowly and hopefully we are educating the proportion of society that remain ignorant or indifferent to people with challenges to overcome.

Over the years I have known and had the privilege to work with young adults with Down’s Syndrome and they are truly  beautiful and inspirational to observe and get to know.

To find out more information please visit http://www.mencap.org.uk.

Elephants and Castles…observers of life

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Last night I went to see the London based band ‘Elephants and Castles’ play live at The Farmers Boy in St Albans. Great night listening to this really interesting duo who write their own material. OK so do a lot of bands… and I know I am a writer… but their lyrics really impressed me. I found myself hurriedly scribbling a few down on the back of my business cards having scrounged a pen!

The band members Chris Anderson and Rob Spencer are also both teachers with the former being a music teacher who really makes a difference to the lives of the children he works with.

Chris Anderson has been known to me for nearly twenty years and I have enjoyed attending gigs in the past with other bands including ‘Missing the Ferry’ in which he plays with three other band members two of which are his equally talented and musical brothers Kevin and Paul.

My followers know that I don’t often stray from my main blog theme but these guys deserve a mention and one particular song really resonates with me and my work with the elderly..  ‘Larry and Janet‘ is an emotive song about how changes to areas affect those that may have lived there for most if not all their life and are expected to move away from all that’s familiar. And, as their lyrics state:

‘What’s left for you and me, we don’t fit into next year’s plans. …One way ticket to the outskirts..they’re gonna push us out’

During the course of the evening I was informed by loyal fans about the inspiration of so many of their songs, these guys are keen observers of life. I was equally pleased to learn ‘Outdoor kids‘ another brilliant song was inspired by Redbourn my village!

If Chris and Rob get to see this I hope I scribbled the lyrics down correctly.. after consuming a few large glasses of wine. Thanks for making a Sunday night memorable and I will be playing your disc later.

Keep an eye on these two…they have some amazing musical messages that need to be heard!

 

 

 

Coping with loss

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This week there have been various charities and individuals thankfully increasing awareness about the loss of a child and/or baby whether this be through illness or in the early stages of pregnancy as a miscarriage. Women who have miscarried are so often not afforded the same or similar consideration or support as those women who have given birth then lost their child although it is still a traumatic loss.This delicate subject has even been aired in the House of Commons…at last!

As the ‘Loose Women’ today  have acknowledged; from the start a woman knows she is pregnant along with the usual anxieties she also has started to dream about that life and the future of that child…regardless of how many people she has chosen to tell she is pregnant.

It is no secret that many people find death and bereavement difficult subjects to discuss and as I often write this doesn’t help the person who is grieving in any way at all.

Furthermore, it is nobody’s right to tell another that their way of grieving is wrong and/or it is time they have moved on and accepted their loss. We all grieve in different ways at different speed and this should be respected.

To all those women who have lost a child or experienced a miscarriage it a pain that may get easier in time but is never forgotten and as with all emotions things will trigger a memory and the tears with flow…don’t forget it is good to cry rather than hold in one’s emotions. It is vital to talk to somebody about your feelings at whatever stage in the grieving process you are at…it really does help to share.

 

 

A Woman’s place…

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Working these past months with some of my amazing and lovely female elderly clients  we often discuss how things have changed over the years. How the role of women has changed.

We often share stories and sayings that our mothers and grandmothers used to say. One I heard my mother often say when a machine was getting the better of her was; ‘Don’t be beaten by man or machine‘ and I try to remind myself of those wise words when trying to get to grips with my latest mobile phone.

Today I heard the male equivalent ‘Don’t be kicked by a woman nor horse!’ .

All joking aside there is of course some sadness when we study the females portrayed in such great films as ‘Pride and Prejudice’ when the order of the day for young ladies was to not leave the house without one’s bonnet or gloves and a trip to town was to choose new ribbons. Reflecting upon those times are we leaving the house half-naked girls??

Revisiting those romantic novels we read as teenagers is often therapeutic and relaxing for the mature ladies as it is good to remember how things used to be .

Birthdays

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Lordy another birthday and I have posted on a facebook birthday wish that I am getting older and wider. It’s the truth.

I am so fortunate to have such lovely friends and family who have been spoiling me all week. My house looks like a florist, more chocolate yum… but my best gift is my lovely daughter home for a girly day.

We may have more than one reason to celebrate family baby due and it would be grand if she (I think it’s a she) or he makes an appearance today.

Those that know me also know its a bittersweet day for our family and I am mindful that whilst it’s got easier.. we all still think of my wonderful mum, not just this day but everyday.

Love, support and cherish those you hold dear.