As part of my reflective reading moving towards my psychology exam I have been reading ‘The Mind Management’ by Prof Steve Peters. Purchased for my daughter last Christmas this brilliant book has been on my own reading list for some time.
Known also as ‘The Chimp Paradox’ this book makes psychology accessible for everyone. Not only does it prove an interesting and quick read for professionals it sits well with those receiving life coaching. The idea of keeping ‘one’s chimp’ in check in order to be more confident and move forward is simplistic and both logical too.
I highly recommend this book for those looking for ways to increase confidence and are interested in self-development. I have already been using the author’s teachings with clients with excellent results…and it does increase happiness levels as well as confidence.
I am mindful that my blog has been neglected I have had reason to rant…but I confess I too have been winding down after exam invigilating, supporting students through the exam period and being a mature student. Though I still have an exam to do!! However, I have not been lazing around and have enjoyed a few cultural experiences alongside the usual challenges of my counselling and freelance work.
Last weekend I attended an event organised by the Redbourn Museum where we were fortunate to be visited by Professor Nicholas Roe from St Andrews University a historian and writer specialising in Keats one of the greats. We were treated to a great talk and I managed to purchase and have signed his latest book on John Keats. This followed an interesting evening of poetry and wine in the museum gardens where various poetry lovers read from their favourite books; I chose Rupert Brookes, a few Haiku gems and one or too old favourites.
I had forgotten just how much poetry had featured in my own life and reflected on happy memories of reading from my mother’s poetry books as a small child. Writing poetry, indeed any writing is always therapeutic and it can be fun don’t forget even if you just write it for your own private reasons. However, don’t be shy try and get it published you may surprise yourself.
Normal daily blogging will resume now and for those students awaiting exam results try not to get too stressed enjoy your break you have earned it and I wish you all well with your results and chosen career paths. I will be writing about how choices change in the forthcoming weeks…and sometimes unexpectedly for the better.
I was listening to a discussion yesterday about the power of kindness which the Red Cross are adopting. It is so easy to be judgemental but as my mentor used to say a baby doesn’t ask to be born into a country, a religion or race and we are all brothers and sisters.
I remember her telling tales about when she was a Corporal Cook in the ATS and looked after the German soldiers who were helping her, giving them hot refreshments and treats. She remarked how they had been called up just as her husband (our Dad had) to be a dessert rat! She had also experienced prejudice herself being part Jewish and brought us up to be anti-prejudice of any nature.
Kindness to others is not difficult to apply and everybody has their own story, and often, very sad one at that.
Keeping positive all the time can, for many, be an up-hill struggle and my NLP coaching of clients confirms this on a regular basis. Even the most successful people have certain areas of their life where they feel they have lost control and feel bewildered to say the least.
In life, at times, we are all guilty of being just too hard on ourselves and focus on the negative elements of our lives (often out of our control anyway) rather than celebrate the positives. In my experience sometimes we need to remember how valued we are by those that know and love us. Again I like to say how it is important that we tell those we love that we do so and appreciate who they are and their positive contribution to our lives.
Without fear of contradiction many people we know within our immediate circles may be struggling but not telling us, so, sometimes we need to ask the question and give that person the opportunity to share. It is no secret that talking helps
Yesterday I made a passing positive compliment to a young student who beamed and said that they had been having a bad day…and I just made it better! Engaging with people who cross our daily paths can be fruitful..the kindness of strangers.
Keep positive and keep caring.
Everybody has their own personal fears and phobias and it can be a hard decision to face them. This can be a personal challenge that we know we need to learn to overcome but it may take some time before we feel that we are ready to do so.
So many problems we have as adults stem from childhood experiences and sadly can prevent us from trying new things and from leading a full life. CBT and NLP Life Coaching of course are very successful and once a client understands his relationship to and/or the cause of a stumbling block towards his/her own particular issue they go forward with far more confidence.
I am always mindful that everything is relative to the individual and time and patience can do wonders… not forgetting bring great rewards to the counsellor/life coach working through their journey.
I always admire those that make the decision to seek help it’s a brave step but shows great determination. Being in an environment of trust brings comfort in itself and talking things through really does cure as Freud knew and reported only too well.
Those that know me are aware I eat pretty healthily and don’t over indulge in take-aways. However, let’s be honest we all crave a treat now and then and how satisfying it can be to a) not have to cook b) enjoy a traditional meal and c)be able to say the quality was high?
Last night my daughter and I decided it should be a fish and chips night and we are lucky in our village we have a great fish and chip shop ‘The Old Cottage’. The chips are not greasy, but clean and fresh. I was lucky to indulge in rock salmon and be transported back to being a child – the safe option only one large bone. The fish was soft, tasted better than I remembered and the batter light and crispy. I only hear good comments on their food and in a village it’s vital to look after your customers and Nev and his staff certainly do that.
I walked off those few chips this morning and my cats are still licking their lips from their fish supper too. It’s great to support these British Traditions especially when you know the proprietor carefully selects his produce from quality suppliers for best results.
We are pretty bad at complaining in this country and if something or somebody upsets us too often we talk about it but don’t find time to complain. Of course there are ways of complaining, staying calm but getting one’s point across…and after all if we don’t give the company or individual an opportunity to apologise and/or put things right they will never learn or value their customers.
Equally we are just as bad at writing to show thanks and appreciation too. If we are impressed about service then say so we all need praising how ever old we are.
Sometimes it is hard to focus on the progress we have actually made when faced with continual challenge. For those that have great strength of character and determination they will continue fighting whilst those around watch on in sheer amazement.
I am following the great challenge a rather special lady has been facing daily for the past six months and watching her smiling face on a short video today was like winning the lottery. The lovely Kim Smith is setting the bar so high in being inspirational! If only more people could summon her courage in what may be far less daunting challenges. However, my counselling training reminds me that everything is relative and what seems irrelevant to one person is insurmountable to another.
However, there is no doubt that having a positive attitude helps us overcome what life throws at us, and, in my own experience will carry us further than any other rehabilitation. Reflecting on how far we have come will hopefully spur us on to continue our battle whatever that may be. Keep shuffling Kim.
For anyone facing an uphill challenge…don’t give up..but don’t be too hard on yourself either and treat yourself to a break and something you enjoy doing..however simple that may be. Chocolate isn’t always the answer but boy it makes us feel better, and, it is actually good for you.
It is never easy starting a new business and I wish the ladies running the new tea rooms in my village good luck. The Enchanted Tea Rooms is just what we needed in our sleepy village (Redbourn) a place to meet friends other than a franchise coffee shop. The decor is fab it’s like walking into a cross between Laura Ashley and your Nan’s sitting room.
Not only can you get a cream tea but they serve all sorts of healthy prepared on the spot lunches and snacks. Your afternoon tea can be booked in advance for parties with the offer of Prosecco or Champagne…what’s not to like?
I hope the villagers make the effort to support this new addition to our High Street and make it a success for the ladies and keep it open for years to come.
This week a business colleague and I chose to leave our cars, take a walk and have our catch up meeting there and we were not disappointed, service was friendly and the food was good.