students

The Mind Management

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As part of my reflective reading moving towards my psychology exam I have been reading ‘The Mind Management’ by Prof Steve Peters. Purchased for my daughter last Christmas this brilliant book has been on my own reading list for some time.

Known also as ‘The Chimp Paradox’ this book makes psychology accessible for everyone. Not only does it prove an interesting and quick read for professionals it sits well with those receiving life coaching. The idea of keeping ‘one’s chimp’ in check in order to be more confident and move forward is simplistic and both logical too.

I highly recommend this book for those looking for ways to increase confidence and are interested in self-development. I have  already been using the author’s teachings with clients with excellent results…and it does increase happiness levels as well as confidence.

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Winding down after exams…with Keats

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I am mindful that my blog has been neglected I have had reason to rant…but I confess I too have been winding down after exam invigilating, supporting students through the exam period and being a mature student. Though I still have an exam to do!! However, I have not been lazing around and have enjoyed a few cultural experiences alongside the usual challenges of my counselling and freelance work.

Last weekend I attended an event organised by the Redbourn Museum where we were fortunate to be visited by Professor Nicholas Roe from St Andrews University a historian and writer specialising in Keats one of the greats.  We were treated to a great talk and I managed to purchase and have signed his latest book on John Keats. This followed an interesting evening of poetry and wine in the museum gardens where various poetry lovers read from their favourite books; I chose Rupert Brookes, a few Haiku gems and one or too old favourites.

I had forgotten just how much poetry had featured in my own life and reflected on happy memories of reading from my mother’s poetry books as a small child. Writing poetry, indeed any writing is always therapeutic and it can be fun don’t forget even if you just write it for your own private reasons. However, don’t be shy try and get it published you may surprise yourself.

Normal daily blogging will resume now and for those students awaiting exam results try not to get too stressed enjoy your break you have earned it and I wish you all well with your results and chosen career paths. I will be writing about how choices change in the forthcoming weeks…and sometimes unexpectedly for the better.

 

Team work…invigilating

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Yesterday I enjoyed after-work drinks with a group of lovely ladies all from within the educational sector. The group included: fellow exam invigilators, teachers, wives of teachers and pastoral support and most of which were parents too.

We had a healthy open forum about our views of many aspects of the educational system and our own parenting experiences. I think I can safely say we all agreed how stressful the exam period is for our students/children and adapting to the various on-going changes of exam structures and grading.

I think many of us also agreed that a percentage of stress that students experience is often applied maybe inadvertantly by parents and I know I shared how even with various professional skills it is hard, at times, to support our own children through their personal journeys. Again, I slipped in the subject of encouraging boys to open up and talk.

To on-lookers invigilating may appear boring but when you work as part of an efficient caring team you soon realise just how important the role is. Every shift is different and one must be prepared for the unexpected and quickly offer support to help ease a stressful situation for a student already in a stressful situation! I always come away feeling I have done something useful and this is confirmed by the appreciation shown by the great school I have the privilege to work within.

Through our eventual ‘wine goggles’ our conversation moved onto the importance of demonstrating kindness and being grateful and how events in our own life sometimes remind us to ‘live a day at a time’ (one of my own mantras).

Many of the group have other roles often working in isolation and it really is good to feel a sense of belonging to a team however small and for however long. If any of the team are reading my blog today we must do that again and soon. I for one will make more of an effort to keep in contact before we meet for the exams in 2019.

Keeping positive

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Keeping positive all the time can, for many, be an up-hill struggle and my NLP coaching of clients confirms this on a regular basis. Even the most successful people have certain areas of their life where they feel they have lost control and feel bewildered to say the least.

In life, at times, we are all guilty of being just too hard on ourselves and focus on the negative elements of our lives (often out of our control anyway) rather than celebrate the positives. In my experience sometimes we need to remember how valued we are by those that know and love us. Again I like to say how it is important that we tell those we love that we do so and appreciate who they are and their positive contribution to our lives.

Without fear of contradiction many people we know within our immediate circles may be struggling but not telling us, so, sometimes we need to ask the question and give that person the opportunity to share. It is no secret that talking helps

Yesterday I made a passing positive compliment to a young student who beamed and said that they had been having a bad day…and I just made it better!  Engaging with people who cross our daily paths can be fruitful..the kindness of strangers.

Keep positive and keep caring.

Conflict of interest

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How refreshing it was to watch the two part BBC programme ‘The Doctor who gave up drugs’ it certainly was thought provoking and revealed such blatent clash of interest between the medical profession, drug companies and producers of non-cow’s milk! Dr Chris Van Tulleken showed just how our children can be helped with alternatives to drugs for such issues as AHD and teenager depression including mindfulness.

Friends know that I am anti-drugs so it comes as no surprise I would agree with his findings. However, it does disappoint and alarm me that GP’s seemingly dish out anti-depressants to children and the bereaved when counselling and emotional support is the safer bet. I know some parents will scream and say unless you are living with a child with these challenges you have no idea..but I would rather not put a child’s life and well-being at risk. The second part showed how some teens were suicidal after their dosage of certain anti-depressants being increased and that is not just coincidental.

It was extremely worrying to see Dr Tulleken’s visual presentations in terms of the sheer volume of drugs our children are taking as well as the horrendous amount of Calpol we are administering to babies and young children.

Today I am not ranting just concerned but maybe more so that the documentary revealed how drug companies and babymilk manufacturers fund Doctors’ educational conferences where their products are certainly marketed well…if that isn’t a conflict of interest then my name isn’t Manning!

Complaining

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We are pretty bad at complaining in this country and if something or somebody upsets us too often we talk about it but don’t find time to complain. Of course there are ways of complaining, staying calm but getting one’s point across…and after all if we don’t give the company or individual an opportunity to apologise and/or put things right they will never learn or value their customers.

Equally we are just as bad at writing to show thanks and appreciation too. If we are impressed about service then say so we all need praising how ever old we are.

 

 

Being kind

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Being kind and grateful feature frequently on my blog and I often say how kindness is not a weakness. Today I will quote a few words from ‘Alfie’ by the great Burt Bacharach to ponder:-

‘What’s it all about, Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live
What’s it all about when you sort it out, Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind
And if only fools are kind, Alfie…’

On speaking about kindness and being grateful with various pastoral colleagues it often seems that to some modern day people it’s uncool to be either…but I am an old-fashioned girl and believe we only get out what we put in and demonstrating kindness in all that we do, considering others… then we are happier ourselves. At the end of the day be grateful for any small achievement, success or happy moment and I promise you will wake up the next day feeling more positive and ready to face the day ahead.

Speaking to a recently bereaved gentleman yesterday; I reminded him to think about the good times and funny moments he had shared with his wife and after our unscheduled encounter he said he felt better and that made me feel grateful for my training too.

To the icecream man who gave me a free icecream this week after a hot afternoon invigilating- thanks for that tiny act of kindness Mr Whippy. You made an old girl very happy.

 

 

Exam stress

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It is that time of year when students all over the country are revising for their exams and true to form the weather is hot, the pollen count is up just as they need to focus.

As ever, I remind those that are busy cramming to have regular screen breaks, exercise, keep hydrated and enjoy a break away and an ice cream or chocolate bar or two too!

Seriously, keeping up the exercise is vital as it releases all the positive endorphins, reduces stress, clears the head and re-energises to help keep the momentum going. For those so inclined I have always recommended yoga classes and most gym clubs now have yoga lessons available. So pick up your mat and join a class. Relaxation and meditation work wonders I promise.  Keep calm…you know your subjects…you are almost there!

I will be doing my bit in starting invigilating next week and sign off wishing all students the best of luck for the coming weeks.

In Support of Mr Men Books

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Regular followers will know I keep out of many topical discussions but today… Watching GMTV I felt compelled to respond to the crazy suggestion that the funny Mr Men books are sexist and damaging to girls!! What??!!**

The idea to suggest such editions as ‘Little Miss Chatterbox’ are demeaning to girls is complete nonsense. My daughter was bought that book and being a chatterbox was part of her charm and her social skills from an earlier age have been second to none and an asset.

To attack my own personal favourite ‘Mr Tickle’ with an inuendo he was a sex predator even more ridiculous. For me he was, and always will be, the ideal man as he could lie in bed and reach downstairs for the chocolate biscuits. I still stay clear of ‘Mr Grumpy’ haha

Obviously, whilst I am support of women being encouraged to be confident it is a statistical fact, and sadly so, that we have more to be worried about the mental issues, and lack of confidence in young men with rise in depression and male suicides.

I will end my rant with a memory of a great ex-boyfriend who loved women but used to remind me that more often than not Walt Disney’s baddie was a woman! Though the more modern Disney films have great role models for girls…‘let it go’.

Allow children to be children for heaven’s sake!

Finding time…

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A great mentor of mine always maintained that ”we will always find time to do the things we like or want to do.‘ I guess, to a certain extent, that is true but at times ‘other stuff’ prevents us from getting on and doing things we like at the risk of neglecting what others may perceive as more important.

I had an interesting chat with a friend today on how we both avoid being judgemental on how others spend and live their lives but sometimes we will be criticised by those that we would rather support us. Unrequested advice can be very annoying and to some upsetting. We all have that friend or family member that wants to tell us what they think we should be doing but above all else we must remain true to ourself.

It would be a boring world if we were all the same..and life would be a dessert without a little rain. I will also spout more words of wisdom from said same mentor ‘that people are only important if you allow them to be.’

Realistically we can only just try to live our lives the best we can and hopefully without hurting anyone around us. Anyway who has the right to say what is and isn’t normal eh? In my experience of helping coach others; most people are just too hard on themselves. Once we learn to accept our limitations and love ourselves the rest will fall into place with time, patience and perhaps self-development and self-belief.

For the rest of the day remember what it is YOU like to do and just do it!