Time for your projects

I am guilty of neglecting my own projects and on a  regular basis. The art of juggling working, studying and family life is not easy for any of us.

Today I  have found time to return to one of my neglected writing projects and last editing of my:-

‘The Little Book of Kisses’ an amusing look at the art of kissing which I will shortly be putting onto kindle in time for Christmas and in readiness for Valentines 2017.

I am just hoping I can convince my extremely talented nephew to again do the honours and create a suitable cover.

 

Bereavement -supporting children

The bereavement journey is indeed a difficult one and never more so than for children. Death of a close relative may come at an early age and before a child has yet learned the adult vocabulary with which to express how they are feeling.

I am advised it is Grief Awareness Month for Children and my advice is not to struggle ensure you get help for yourself and your children. There are also excellent books available to help children understand in an age appropriate way. One of my favourites being ‘Badger’s Parting Gifts.’

I have a project of my own A Ragdoll for Nanny’ which I am hoping to use to help a bereavement charity at some stage.  Having lost a parent at an early age and helped my own daughter with loss of grandparents very young I can speak from personal experience.

I always advise parents to let their children’s school know what is happening to gain as much support as possible. For children at senior school please look at my piece on Innovate My School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/bereavement-helping-pupils-and-towards-recovery

Anti-bullying

Later this month it is Anti-bullying awareness week and I hope the various connected charities will be well supported during this time and schools nationally take full advantage of this platform.

However, we all need to be aware of bullying every day and the various forms it takes. Additionally, the growing concerns to parents of the increase and attitude towards cyber-bullying one of the downsides of modern media.This leaves our children subjected to 24/7 attacks from those that choose this cruel way to intimidate others.

Please see my article on Innovate My School’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Be safe be aware. Some may be comforted by the fact that statistics say most bullies go on to suffer with depression in later life…I would prefer they are encouraged from an early age to STOP IT for everyone’s sake! Whereas a large proportion of victims don’t tell anybody they are being bullied an even more worrying statistic.

Personal statements

I know many students depending on their chosen career may have already submitted their personal statements. However I know there are many of you out there planning and even struggling to work on yours now.

My following articles on Innovate My School’s website hopefully offer some useful advice to students and teachers alike.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1617-seven-tips-for-writing-your-personal-statement.html

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

Good luck with the process and future studying towards those exams.

Memory triggers…the very thought of you

I frequently talk and write about emotional triggers that spur us on to remember people we have loved and lost. It may be a certain smell or even a special song that holds that magic which tugs at one’s heart strings.

These transient reminiscent bumps can be both beautiful and emotive and at times appear upsetting but my regular followers know how I feel about the value of having a cry to release bottled up emotions.

Shortly after my mother died I bought a Harry Connick Junior Album on which he sang ‘The very thought of you‘ an old Frank Sinatra number  and a favourite of mine and mum’s- sheer magic. To many this is a love song but it reminded me of my amazing mother few lines…‘I see your face in every flower, your eyes in stars above’.. After a close bereavement our loved one’s presence  is often felt as we try to make sense of our loss and treasure our memories.

Last night the very talented Michael Buble was singing the exactly same song and dedicated it to his Gran who had recently died. It was a beautifully produced number. So I am not alone in recognising those special words and there is more than one kind of love…both of which obviously resonated with this great songster too. 

I was asked this morning had I seen him live…only in my dreams! Swoon.

 

National Stress Awareness Day

I have always maintained that awareness is knowledge and knowledge is power. Sadly we may apply this to our professional life but often people switch off their awareness when in the company of friends and family.

Why is this? Maybe we don’t want to pry or live in fear of not saying the right thing. What we can do though is occasionally just ask the question ‘is everything OK?’. I remember receiving sound advice at a very young age to think about other people’s 24 hours…their lives.

If somebody is maybe acting out of sorts don’t react in a negative way but try finding out what is going on as they may be really stressed about something and a few kind words and a listening ear may be just what they need to bring their stress levels down.

We never know what is troubling those we love if we don’t take the time to notice and be interested.Life can be difficult at times and remember somebody may be drowning and not just waving.

I was told once that to have that great friend you have to be that great friend.

Recently I read an article about how having a hug may be just as effective when in pain as a pain killer..I know which I prefer.

Rainbow children

I had an interesting chat yesterday with the spiritual side of the family about Rainbow Children. I have to say the past few years I have read some amazing spiritual books about how we are evolving into a more spiritual peaceful time.

Whilst studying I became more and more aware of just how much of a guru my own mother was and after reading ‘Many lives many masters’ it just resonated and loudly so that she was indeed a master and sent for good reason.

It is a relatively easy decision to be positive in one’s approach to life and relationships though I am mindful that many find this extremely difficult. However, once automatic negative thought processes are removed any of us can lead a far more rewarding and fulfilling life and enable those around us to achieve their goals and place of contentment too.

If, as suggested one of our latest arrivals is indeed a Rainbow Child I will look forward to seeing what this certain young man becomes and just how he does his bit in the evolution of humanity.

But, as I always say all children are beautiful in their own way if just given the opportunity to shine…in their own way.

Male suicide

Regular followers will know I often write and include the delicate subject of suicide in my bereavement blogs.

Sadly many people are uncomfortable talking about this subject which can in turn affect how supportive they are to families coping with the tragic loss of a family member.

Many of the mental health charities and organisations are encouraging people to talk about their problems and in particularly young men where suicide is one of the highest killers.

Often a young man will take heed from his own Father’s reluctance to share and talk about his emotions, but all family units should address this and soon.

Encourage your male family members to talk there is no shame in talking about our feelings and you may just save a worried teen from spiraling into depression and thoughts of a suicidal nature.

Having said this I will remind any bereaved family members facing the attempted suicide or loss in this way that feelings of misplaced blame is not uncommon and please seek support to help you through this difficult time.

Black cat day

Today is the Cats Protection League’s black cat day in an attempt to encourage would-be pet owners to consider re-homing a black cat.Not sure what the reasons are but it would seem many a lovely black cat struggles to be adopted.

We have two fab black cats one was a rescue cat and has been a joy to have.Slightly amused they have chosen to have this awareness day near Halloween but in our house they are considered good luck.

The various charities who support the elderly in our communities are aware just how many people living on their own are lonely and bringing a pet into their lives can bring a new lease of life. Of course a cat is  a great lap companion for those who cannot get out and about. Cat has the added bonus of no need for walking it in the rain!  (Sorry dog lovers)

Additionally it is well documented that having and stroking a pet cat or dog lowers one’s blood pressure ..so a healthy addition to the family too.

Pet bereavement

I was pleased to see the subject of pet bereavement being discussed on daytime TV yesterday. Often people forget how attached pet owners are to their beloved pooch or moggy.

Speaking as a parent often through keeping a pet a child learns about responsibility and their first encounter with grief may indeed be through the loss of a pet hamster.

I think the mistake parents often make is in trying to protect their children’s emotions they invent strange stories as to where the deceased animal has gone to, and even replace a goldfish with another pretending it is the same one.

We cannot run from death and the earlier a child understands about loss but in a controlled way the better. There is no right age to accept or a right way of breaking bad news we just have to do the best we can.

However, there are of course great books available pitched age appropriate which can help with the loss of grandparent say. If you feel you need outside help do not feel embarrassed to ask as often you may be going through the same emotions yourself and a bereavement counsellor can help make the journey easier for both you and your child.