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Disappointed

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Anyone that has either worked with children or has children will know that one of the most powerful words one can use to a child is ‘disappointed’.

When trying to help our children keep and respect what may seem strict but safe boundaries  – when they have crossed the line we may find ourselves explaining how we are disappointed with their actions. I have found this has far more of an impact than any other verbal expression or ban on say computer games etc.

However, we constantly hear how teenagers are increasingly suffering from stress and interestingly Childline today were reported to reveal that they received over 1000 calls from children suffering exam stress. This was expressed as a 20% increase on last year.

Childline went on to say that children felt stressed as they didn’t want to disappoint their parents and this speaks volumes. As parents we have to greatly consider our children’s emotional intelligence and avoid applying undue pressure but replacing it with supportive encouragement.

As we know some children are more communicative about their feelings than others and it is no secret that stress related issues are sadly also on the increase and include eating disorders and self harming.

I am mindful that as we approach exam results days that many students will already feel disappointed with results and do not need parents adding to their dilemma. If they do not get their first choice options for university it may not be the end of the world.

Remember a second choice through clearing may work out better for many students.

Technical fears

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I suspect like a lot of people I hardly scratch the surface of the packages lurking on my laptop. Without any formal training I do the best I can with now and then asking a male colleague with more IT knowledge. I confess I hate asking for help but realistically we can’t all be experts in everything.

I remember my mother’s words where technology and indeed men were concerned:-

‘Don’t be beaten by man nor machine.’

Sound advice, sometimes I confess it can be a generation thing, whereas our teenage children just explore without fear, but in my own defense the fear is losing perhaps stored valuable material. But today that fear has been replaced by discovering new aspects of my word package previously unknown to me sadly.

The past couple of days I have spent downloading material and visuals from my website in fear of the host company losing it all for me. Not amusing when ambiguous emails are received, requests to help desk go unanswered and phone lines constantly busy.

Things I have learnt from this exercise:

a) make sure you save info you may have uploaded directed to website somewhere else.

b) get to know the packages you bought more         and

c) stop for coffee and choccy biscuits girl…you deserve it!

When is the right time?

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I had to confess to a close friend that i was having studying withdrawal symptoms…how sad am I? Seriously, I had given myself a little break from my list of courses to do. I had decided not to start up again until my daughter went back to university. Then today I found myself seeking out one of my proposed courses and starting to read my first lesson…

If I am honest I was concerned the longer I put off starting the worse it would be to get back into my routine. As any fellow mature students will realise one has to be really committed, self-disciplined and motivated to return to studying.

I have to say the past few years I have found gaining various qualifications a positive move and I have really enjoyed the reflective reading and evolving as an individual. Finding the right position to make ultimate use of said qualifications has been harder than I envisaged but I know the right role is out there.

For me of course it was a two prong plan as my counselling qualifications have also given me credence to my serious writing projects, currently with my publisher. One has to be patient as some dreams take longer to chase, catch and become a reality.

Q: So when is the right time? A:Now!!

Remember we are never too old to learn new skills.

 

Women moving forward

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Last week at the Global Woman’s Summit the delegates were privileged to hear many inspirational women give their stories.

During the event we had a live link to Barbara Marx Hubbard in the USA. Barbara spoke about  a  new family on earth and the evolution of women:

‘ Impulse of creativity and love. Each full of potential – a new family of humanity.’

Her tips for the audience included how we should –

‘Catch a vision of a world equal to our potential’.

and…how in life we should all: –

‘Ignore the breaking down but look at what is breaking through.’

Closing with a brilliantly positive statement:-

‘Life’s purpose each of us is more.’

Sharing knowledge

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At the weekend’s Global Woman Summit  the lovely and approachable Caroline Spires from Big Business Events was sitting on our press table. As all good women in business should do we swapped business cards.

I have just had my break off the screen today chatting with Caroline who is the Events Manager for their events. It is always good after attending an event to share personal opinions on how we viewed; the venue, speakers but more importantly the value of the content of the presentations attended and real value to our own business.

As Caroline agreed it is always good if we come away feeling we have learned something new. Speaking as a Quality Consultant we are all continually learning what works and what doesn’t and what is really worth our personal time and financial investment as a large business or as a sole trader.

I will be attending ‘How to make it big in business’  on the 29th September at the Hotel Novotel, London and look forward to hearing what her speakers have to offer.This event is free to delegates courtesy of Big Cars Ltd and Raw Talent Academy. Always good to see those that have made it putting something back into the business arena.

 

MINDFULNESS

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Being mindful helps us to keep things in perspective and our emotions under control.It is very easy to allow stress to overtake our usual reasoning.

By taking a day at a time and enjoying that day for what it is rather than worrying about the things that may or not even happen tomorrow enables us to lead a far more healthier and positive life.

Too often I talk to colleagues as they approach an important event or something which they have been working towards i.e. giving a presentation or sitting exams and suddenly it all seems so daunting.

The reality being what we tell ourselves we sadly listen to. So the thought for today is to tell yourself you can succeed and not only that you are going to enjoy doing so. Stress…what stress?

I will leave you with one of my Grandmother’s favourite sayings:-

‘If things don’t alter they stay as they are!’

Global Woman Summit 2016

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This weekend I attended the Global Woman Summit with my good friend and journalist Deborah Durbin.  As VIP guests we were treated with great hospitality from the Global Woman team and of course their founder and Editor Mirela Sula who had provided the delegates with an interesting mix of speakers.

Mirela is proactive in encouraging passion and empowerment of women and embracing working together for the greater good. She made every effort to speak personally to the members of the audience and genuinely believes in the value of spirituality.

I found many of the talks quite inspiring but by far the best was the keynote speaker Dr Evin Laszlo a scientist, humanist an amazing author and an ethics prize winner. He applied the theory of quantum physics to how the world needs to change and the place of the cosmic woman (the essence of the summit) in that change.  I could have listened to this brilliant man all day…here are a few gems from my pages of notes:-

He discussed how the system needs to change to gain sustainability, we cannot stay put, or go back but we must go forward and innovate. How it was vital that we regain our coherence with each other. Question: Who best to do that?…Answer: Women!

He feels the next stage of humanity and unconditional love will be through the age of leadership by women. This will be achieved by bringing family and feminine values into the world. He feels that there is no need to conquer but to create oneness.

Dr Laszlo calls the spirit of women the new paradigm.

I will be posting more comments throughout the week to share my experience and words of wisdom from the speakers with my followers.

Have a positive Monday fellow female bloggers and writers

 

 

Meeting our dreams head on

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Last week I had the privilege of minding my great nephew who is a joy. During our fun time he asked if I was the wishing tree. Good question. He then asked me what I would wish for. Keeping it child friendly my list included, a giant bar of chocolate, the biggest ice cream in the world and my own animal zoo. This was met with great laughter. Seriously, there are not many things I wish for aside of good health for me and mine. I am fully aware money doesn’t in itself bring happiness but it would enable me to have that zoo.

In life it is very hard to focus and remain positive when trying to pursue our own dreams whilst, keeping a home running, supporting our children, extended family and friends, running a business and sometimes receiving a rejection no when maybe we want to hear a ‘yes’.

Even the most positive of characters are allowed to feel down sometimes. I have to confess for me today was one of those rare times. I have just made a cup of coffee, eaten a few squares from a not so giant bar of chocolate and reminded myself to feel grateful.

However, I am a grateful person and try where possible to help people if not with practical help of a physical nature I certainly do spiritually,supporting my friends, sharing advice and hopefully through my writing.

I can hear the voice of a good friend who will remind me the latest ‘no‘ was not God’s plan.. Don’t you think it would be good if we could take a sneaky look at that plan and therefore avoid time wasting exercises? and…SMILE!

I have a really brilliant weekend planned with a great friend, perfect timing. Off to a Global Women’s event to re-feed my spiritual self and hear from and be inspired by talented speakers.

Blog done now to finish that bar of chocolate and re-focus on my dreams.

 

Acknowledging loss

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Today I am saluting H.R.H. Prince Harry for his candidness in sharing with others how he feels about the loss of his own mother. From what was shown on news reports yesterday he encouraged children who had lost their own parent to believe they will grow up normal.

Having lost a parent myself at a very early age I can say it is a tragic experience and in my day people were even less comfortable (if that’s possible) in talking about somebody that has died. To a child without the vocabulary to express their own feelings this makes life even more difficult.

One of my biggest bug bearers had always been that in not acknowledging somebody’s existence you are preventing them from grieving naturally especially a child. If anything when somebody loses a parent when they are young they never had the opportunity to get to know them so in denying their existence you are denying the bereaved that too.

My advice is to talk about their parent and share good experiences and allow them to keep their parent alive in their heart and in their memories, as my own Mother used to say ‘memories live longer than dreams’.

The few memories I have of my own father I cherish and I guess my love of music stemmed from listening to him and our Mother enjoying their record collection when we had gone to bed.

I hope to have my own story  ‘Dancing in my Dreams’ published soon.

Today’s new word

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I am always encouraging those around me to extend their vocabularies and learn at least one new word every day. I am reminded when my daughter was about four or five and she had forgotten what her fabulous picture dictionary was called and asked me:-

‘Mummy where is that book that knows everything?’

I think that was a brilliant description of our trusty dictionary.

I found ‘my new word’ yesterday albeit provided by Nick Clegg’s beautiful wife Miriam. It is ‘Sobremesa’ which she explained (in an article within ‘You’ magazine) in Spanish means ‘over the table’. Anybody that has eaten with me knows it will be a good few hours spent not just eating but chewing the cud. Aside of finding me my new word there were one or two of her delicious looking recipes which I will be trying.

I wonder whether the hectic life people lead and the fact that families are not always sitting around the table at the same time to eat is partly responsible for people often not really knowing their children. More importantly not being aware of what could be troubling them…as parents we must open up the dialogue on a regular basis and give our children the opportunity to speak freely about any subject. Sadly, even the families that do communicate well may not see warning signs…as sometimes there aren’t any.

Again this weekend I heard another sad story of a young teenage boy taking his own life absolutely devastating for his close family and friends and the ripples of grief spread far and wide. The increasing statistics for suicides in young men for those that know them should be sending loud alarm bells to not just parents but support networks everywhere.

I recently discussed this very subject with a mother of a young male teacher and we both agreed young men need more good role models in schools and to be encouraged to share more.