I have recently read a brilliant article written by Kelly Farley ‘Fatal Silence’ on male suicide. Men are often suffering in silence with their bereavement holding onto the misconception that they have to be ‘the strong ones’ and not show their feelings.
I had purposely included the ever delicate subject of suicide in ‘Dancing in my Dreams’ now with my agent/publisher. I discuss how we should refrain from the old-fashion and somewhat incorrect term of ‘committing suicide’ which often offends – bearing in mind it is no longer a crime to take one’s life.
Over the years I have known friends and colleagues that have lost loved ones this way and it is one of the saddest ways to face bereavement. Sadder still is society’s lack of compassion at times for the bereft who in many ways deserve even more support and understanding.
Left without the opportunity to say goodbye and often riddled with misplaced guilt and a mind full of ‘what if?’ questions the bereft often also face hostility.
As statistics prove not all suicides have mental issues though one might question that they may not have been in ‘their right frame of mind’ when they make the decision to end their life this way.
Support those going through bereavement however their loved one has died. Their loss is painful whatever the situation and in the case of suicide they too can become depressed and even contemplate suicide themselves. It is not uncommon for children that have lost a parent this way to see this as an option for themselves too.
There are support charities and agencies who can help and Freud was right about the talking cure; ‘the purpose to change hysterical misery into ordinary human unhappiness.’