bereavement

Communication let’s talk

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I have lost count the times I write about communication being the key to success in any personal or business relationship, but it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves that some people find it harder to communicate than others. This is where patience, caring and understanding step in and we can all do our bit even in our own community and within families.

A recent blog I ranted about how people in wheelchairs or disabilities are often ignored (a discussion I had earlier this week with a new friend**) additionally we agreed this can happen when people are recently bereaved as we search for the right words to offer in sympathy -there are no words but don’t avoid people either. Don’t under estimate the power of a simple hand of the arm and just saying ‘i’m thinking of you.’  **Hi Julia if you are following.

Equally, many will find it awkward to speak to somebody with dementia but there is help available. As ever I am steering my followers to the Alzheimer’s Society’s website: within their wide selection of free literature you will find easy tips to follow to enhance your relationship with, and the life of, the person living with dementia.

Being elderly can become very isolating and lonely so pop in and see that neighbour… a quick bit of engagement will make their day.

Making it count

~ credo2014 ~ 2 Comments

My regular followers will know I talk often about living a day at a time and making it count. I also encourage kindness and remind people often it is a strength not a weakness.

In life, if we are lucky, special people come into our lives, our paths will cross and unexpectedly we learn so much. I am also personally aware that a dearest friend may not have necessarily been in one’s life a long time for that person to make such a difference and have a positive impact either.

For personal reasons I have been re-visiting some of my favourite poems, one of which was given to me when my mother died ‘How do you live your dash‘ an extract follows:-

‘I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning to the end

He noted that first came her date of birth and spoke the later date with tears

But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time she spent alive on earth

And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth

For it matters not how much we own, the cars, the house, the cash

What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand the way other people feel’

So, if you have people in your life that you love, then tell them so today, don’t save the words just for ‘special occasions’ as today is that special occasion!

 

 

Cherishing the elderly

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I was once told that I was born old…had an old soul! Maybe this is why I have always had a great affinity with those in their Autumn years especially those who keep spring in their hearts.

Over the years and during my working career holding various positions I have witnessed some truly amazing things, but, also seen and heard things that make me my blood boil.

I am appalled when people are dissmissive of our aged friends and family members who have so much to offer from their personal wisdom and even perhaps their local and social history knowledge.  Additionally, those who deem fit of ignoring people in wheelchairs…only yesterday whilst out shopping I met an amazing lady of advancing years who had great character and looked stunning and her wheelchair was only a barrier for those with a closed mind. The encounter was brief but memorable.

My professional working projects with the elderly have brought me great joy and borne friendships that I will never forget. It has been a real privilege during one-to-one session work to get to know individuals and their personal stories.

As I was only saying yesterday to one of my own mentors nothing in life that we do is a waste and we go on learning. Exercising patience, love, kindness and understanding can enrich the lives of others and of course our own!

New year…support Alzheimer’s Society

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

How many of us make promises at the beginning of the new year to start that diet, join that yoga or dance class or de-clutter our homes only to find before mid-January we are still talking about it?? One thing we can all easily do though is to add supporting a charity to our list and do something worthwhile.

I know last year mine was to have a real de-clutter…I bought lots of plastic boxes and archive files and did make a start..then found anything and everything was more fun than carrying on. Maybe this year I will complete the task especially as, yes, you have guessed it…I have more clutter and far more paperwork and leaflets from the various charities I like to work with and support.

Again I intend to ressurrect my neglected writing projects and although I did manage to start back on my courses I found my own projects were set aside as I set myself on a mission to understand more about dementia and how it affects patients and their families. I have been privileged to work with families and it is apparrent that without charities such as Alzheimer’s being able to supply such great information and support families that those diagnosed are pretty much left to it.

Yes we need more funding from the government but also more dedicated from GP’s and more awareness genrally. Personally, I believe we need love, kindness and understanding and over Christmas my tree representing this theme (in support of Alzheimer’s Society) took pride of place in the lady chapel at St Saviours Church. My sincere thanks to the church and staff for all their great organising of the event and, of course, my lovely niece Sarah from Visual Merchandising for dressing the tree in corporate but festive attire.

 

xmas tree

Xmas Tree Festival

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

St Saviour’s Tree Festival is in full swing. I visited Sunday to see all the amazing trees decorated and sponsored by local charities and organisations.

This year there are two lovely memory trees where one can add a message in memory of a loved one lost. As we know it is a times like Christmas when we may be missing and remembering somebody we have lost this year. As I often post bereavement is not an overnight process and for those mourning the pressure to feel happy and festive can be overwhelming. For those who may have nursed a loved one with cancer the bereavement journey can be a complicated one with delayed grief mixed with feelings of relief that a loved one is no longer suffering.

Christmas kindness

~ credo2014 ~ 1 Comment

Christmas can put an awful lot of pressure on people when they may be feeling ill, bereaved, depressed or lonely to name a few challenges many face.

This week’s weather will have affected many who may have had to cancel plans or stuck inside unable to get out and about. If there is anyone you feel may appreciate a visit or even a telephone call then make an effort – we are all busy but little acts of kindness mean a lot.

I know a lot of my colleagues agree that Christmas can be a sales and marketing activity and the spirit may be lost amongst the tinsel and gifts.

As my mentor regular said: ‘The best gift we can ever give is our time and kindness doesn’t cost a penny.’ 

Stroke Association

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

For any of my followers who may be recovering from a stroke or caring and supporting a family member of friend who has then please visit The Stroke Association’s website.

Having a stroke is extremely difficult emotionally as well as physically and this amazing charity has great support and information available.

Recovery really can be a step at a time, a day at a time, and, survivors need patience, positivity, love and understanding.

Christmas Tree Festival

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

For my local followers just reminding you all to find time to visit St Saviour’s St Albans Xmas Tree Festival which starts Saturday 16th opening at 12.00.

This is a beautiful event held at one of my favourite local churches entrance is free but donations are welcome. From the 16th -23rd there will be a number of events held with something for everyone and all ages. The Cafe is open all week until 4.30 daily. Aside of the various day time activities and craft fair please check for services on their website http://www.ssaviours.org

The wonderful display of trees is all sponsored and decorated by local charities and organisations. This year my own tree (jointly sponsored with Visual Merchandising) is to help raise awareness for Dementia and the Alzheimer’s Society, so if you manage to get along you will find our tree in the Lady chapel.

 

St Saviours Christmas Tree Festival

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

St Saviours Church in St Albans are once again holding their Christmas Tree Festival starting 16th of December and running until 23rd.  Entry is free but donations are of course welcome.

Every day there are attractions for all ages including film shows and musical events with a craft fair and cafe open until 4.30 throughout the week. Full details of services are on their website:

http://www.ssaviours.org.

This year my own tree is to help with awareness for Dementia and the Alzheimer’s Society. If you visit please come and see my tree in the Lady Chapel promoting;-

love kindness and understanding.