International Women’s Day

Today I salute all my fabulous female friends, family members and fellow female colleagues, and of course, fellow writers…we are all doing an amazing job.

Only yesterday I was discussing with a close female friend how great we all are, the way we juggle and prioritise on our feet day by day all year long. The devotion we give to our families and if appropriate our clients too.

For many of us if we have had the added bonus of great mentors along the way even better; mine was my beautiful mother and then a female barrister in my mid-twenties both of whom encouraged me to be the best I can and embrace new challenges.

Celebrate being a successful woman but be mindful of those who live in other countries where opportunities are for some non-existent and/or have a real struggle to just survive let alone flourish.

A special message of love and respect to my wonderful daughter who is blossoming into a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every day.

Huge thank you to all those inspirational women who when met with adversity or personal loss channel their energy into achieving great things which benefit us all.

 

NLP Life Coaching

As I was saying recently to somebody who had taken the positive step to talk to a life coach it takes courage to recognise that you need some assistance. Working with somebody outside of your immediate circle to discuss those issues that are troubling you and/or that you feel may hold you back from realising your potential is a step in the right direction.

Often we have barriers that we put up which prevent us from following our dreams and enjoying full relationships. NLP helps you to identify those barriers and the reasoning behind them but more importantly to break down those barriers to work in a more positive and confident way.

Through life’s experiences it is quite easy to become affeared and develop a negative mindset when those experiences are in the past and are really unrelated to your life today and the possibilities awaiting you tomorrow.

NLP also helps us to recognise that other people have weakensses too and in acknowledging these we can find ways to live and work in harmony.

To quote Mahatma Ghandi:

‘Happiness is anything done with harmony –only when our thoughts, actions and words are balanced and connected to each other can we achieve true harmony.’

Time passes quickly

This week for many friends and family there has been nothing but sad news. Sometimes in life it feels like there is a cluster of negative things happening around of us and of course it is. This is life but so too are all the great days and weeks that we have flying past trouble free and which we all take for granted.

When we lose people close to us it makes us reflect on our own lives and hopefully drives us to make the best of what we have and be the best we can be. Living a day at a time realistically that is all any of us can do and fretting over things won’t make them go away.

Focusing our energies on doing what we enjoy, achieving our dreams and remembering to have fun and laugh are the best remedies for survival. Laughter is of course the best tonic and I am aware that some of the daft things I say and do cause those around me to be at times a bit surprise, embarrassed but at least it makes them laugh.

I played a funny trick on a close friend last week and we are both still giggling like school girls and why not! Being over fifty doesn’t mean we have to a) behave like it b) dress like it and c) lose our sense of humour. Anyway I am still deciding what I am going to be when I grow up… for now I am just a recyled teenager!!

After a day of serious work I will join friends tonight to put the worlds to right, eat crisps (unhealthy I know) and laugh.

Time passes quickly so make the most of every day and yes housework can wait.

Keeping children safe

I know a lot of people will object to announcements of sex education within schools at such an early age. However, I am often reminding mothers of young children to talk about how they protect them and why and reminding them that private parts are just that.

Sadly people in various positions of trust take advantage of our children and awareness should be addressed but handled in the correct way. Every child is different and there is never a one size fits all.

Of course as parents and/or professionals we have the benefit of great support charities with the best of advice readily available online or by contacting them by phone. NSPCC and Childline are only to pleased to discuss any concerns and gie advice.

If you are worried or concerned about anything don’t ignore your instincts but seek help. Whether that be your GP, Minister – Safeguarding teams are in place to help investigate such issues.

If your child has access to phone, tablets or laptops ensure you know what they are viewing and accessing, moreover who has access to them. Preventative rather than cure is always the best way to keep your child safe.

Keeping positive

Maintaining a positive outlook can be a real challenge for most of us as life throws a curved ball that we were not expecting. There is no secret to coping with life but by staying mindful and keeping things in perspective we can at least get through the day without being consumed by the stress of a situation.

Coping with life’s rich tapestry we hope gets easier with age but that is not always the case and we are never too old to seek advice and support. My continued advice when asked is to communicate about what is troubling us and this doesn’t always have to be with a family member or close friend. It can often be more useful to speak to somebody from outside our unit who can remain unbiased and focused on the subject matter and in some circumstances provide constructive help and emotional support.

I know that I was extremely fortunate that I could discuss anything with my mother, and I would be lying to my followers and myself if I didn’t admit that this void has been hard to fill since she died. Equally when I have good news and want to share it with her I will possibly share with somebody else now.

I guess what I am saying is whatever you need to share there is always somebody around who is interested you just have to open up and give them that opportunity. Keeping things bottled up never really works in the long-term and either talking and/or writing will prove a therapeutic release and reduce stress related illnesses.

 

Work experience and social skills

Many of the more sensible students will have secured volunteering positions for half term and for those of you that were not as proactive or unlucky in your endeavours don’t be disheartened.

Now is the time to start approaching charities and organisations for the forthcoming Easter break. I know parents and teachers alike will be encouraging students to get work experience and improve their social skills.

What students have to bear in mind is that being a great academic is not enough your future university will be looking for characters with a good and interesting CV. Showing personal skills and ability to contribute something of value.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

‘A Mother’s Love’

‘A Mother’s Love’ will soon be available to download from Amazon. One of my own projects written whilst being a mature student passing my counselling qualifications and reflecting on my own personal journey and my relationship with my amazing mother. Extract from my book’s introduction:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Annie Manning MASC (CBT) ©

 

Let’s get kissing

On the count down to Valentine’s and what a great on-line purchase a kindle book on kissing might be?

‘The Little Book of Kisses’ by Dolly Christmas is available from Amazon to download

little-book-of-kisses

An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal sgift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the perfect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.

Not to worry

 

Some people are born worriers and will never grasp that worrying about things will not change them or give them control. Indeed half of our worries we never have. A few years ago I attended an interesting talk about body language and the speaker Vic Botterill gave a statistical break down on our worries or should I say what we perceive as our worries.

40% will never happen

30% related to the past which one cannot do anything about

12% unfounded health concerns

10% too petty to even worry about

4% substantially beyond our control

Totalling a resounding 96% leaving 4% so not much to worry about then!

*Stats courtesy of Vic Botterill

Seriously, though many people spend far too much time stressing over the small stuff and as a close family member said recently since facing bereavement it helps one to put things into perspective.

Of course there is another way to help with matters causing you anxiety and that is of course to talk about them. The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

There has been a lot of press coverage of late encouraging people to be happy, grateful and to communicate more and that doesn’t mean via facebook or texting. Indeed the modern technology that everybody allows to run their lives leaves many young people facing feelings of negativity and many feeling their life isn’t as beautiful or as good as everyone else’s.

The reality is those images are not the real life and often people hide behind the smile of their selfies. So my message for the weekend is to go out and live your life and have real conversations with real people and, teens, trust me you won’t learn valuable social skills being glued to your phone!

Tell those you love that you love them and if appropriate what is worrying you as they would want to know.

Vic…if you are reading my blog today have a great weekend.

‘A Mother’s Love’

This week I am busy doing the final editing of my own tribute to my amazing mother.

‘A Mother’s Love’ (Gospels according to Dorothy) A work of love which I have been working on the past few years giving a small insight into how a woman left widowed with five children selflessly raised them to be positive caring individuals. This will be available shortly from Amazon so keep following my blog. A little taster:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Being a mother is such a rewarding if not challenging role.