Grief Encounter

Children’s grief awareness is something I like to support. Grief Encounter an amazing support charity were featured on TV today. I met the founder members at a bereavement conference many years ago and salute the work and what they have achieved to date.

If you have children who are going through bereavement please do not let them struggle, seek support and counselling there is help and advice available and as I have said before there are many great books which can help explain in appropriate language how to deal with their feelings.

Keeping their loved one’s memory alive is imperative as opposed to avoiding talking about their lost relative.  The process for everybody is different and if, as a parent you are dealing with your own grief as well as comforting a child it is not easy.

Anti-bullying week

Bullying can happen to any of us at any age and in any environment. Sadly far too often people do not realise that the way they are being treated in school or the workplace is recognised as bullying and unacceptable behaviour.

It is proven statistically just how few people who are being bullied share their pain and often for fear of further reprocussions. If you feel that you are being a victim of bullying in any way please ensure that you tell somebody to not only get help for yourself but make those that need to know are aware that it is going on.

There are many easy ways in which you can increase your confidence to regain your power against the cruelty of others.  Don’t under-estimate the power your school or company have in taking the purpertrators to task. In the case of  bullying at school they can be excluded from school.

For parents there are many signs to watch out for which may be connected to bullying, poor sleep patterns, change in diet, being withdrawn and of course reluctance to go to school. Continued bullying can have all sorts of adverse affects on your child’s health, wellbeing and even affect their exam results.

 

Leonard Cohen

Saddened today at the loss of Leonard Cohen a great poet and song writer. This brilliant artist inspired so many people throughout his long career and very few of us will not have heard at last one version of his classic song ‘hallelujah’.

The comfort to his loyal fans spanning over fifty years plus is he will always remain alive in his works and in our hearts.

He was blessed with both brilliance and spirituality and led an amazing life.

Life is precious..it’s wonderful

As the marketing bods are already drumming into our minds it is Christmas…. I revisited one of my all-time great ‘feel good’ films:- ‘It’s a wonderful life.’

This is a must watch film dealing with the fallout when a man George Bailey has tremendous money worries and contemplates suicide and wishes he was never born. Luckily his friends and family pray so much for him that a guarding angel is sent to save him.

The guardian angel Clarence is given his assignment and asks what is wrong with the man he needs to help and he is told.

‘It’s worse than sick he’s discouraged.’

I think this will resonate with many who may feel their problems are insurmountable and it is not uncommon for men to feel suicidal over money worries. Men are programmed to be the hunter and a loss of job can not only make them lose their self-respect and sense of purpose but sadly very desperate too.

One of the best lines in the film is how the angel explains:-

‘We don’t use money in heaven.’

This reminds me of the expression ‘you can’t take your money with you when you go.’ 

So to all those tight-fisted ones out there take heed and let the moths out of your wallet and for the spendthrifts remember what really counts…not materialistic things but life itself!

Remember: We all mean something to somebody just because they haven’t said so lately most of us thankfully are loved more than we ever realise.

Our Dads

Today I will dedicate my first blog to my own father and many other fathers of friends who spent their twenties in the second world war. These great men came home to those that loved them and stayed silent about what they had seen and didn’t boast about their many achievements.

I know my mother told me that our dad didn’t think it appropriate to discuss such matters in front of the women and children.  For many of us from my own generation we regret that maybe we didn’t either take the time or have the opportunity to sit down and ask the right questions to find out more about these brave men.

Today is of course when, as a nation,we do take time to remember them.. all those that were sadly lost and those who survived. Also show appreciation to our armed forces currently serving.

If you are fortunate to have your Dad or Grandfather alive take the time now to talk to them and give them the respect and recognition they so rightly deserve.

 

 

Making the most of our time

As I write today’s blog I am mindful of yesterday’s tram crash and how many families will be affected by the tragic accident. People going about their usual business on their way to work or college and a future planned.

At times like these I remember my mentor’s words about living a day at a time and being good to people when they are here. I heard these sentiments on a regular basis and for her generation surviving the London Blitz in the second world war they knew how lives could be changed in a moment for simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. On the eve of 11/11 we will remember them.

Life is precious as are our loved ones and close friends and where possible we must ensure to live life to full and hopefully without affecting others by our actions in a negative way. We owe it to those that lost their lives in protecting our right to freedom.

As we get older ourselves we start to lose older relatives and too often their own stories die with them, I encourage families to spend time with grandparents and find out their stories to record and treasure for future generations to come. For those families faced with the challenge of family members with dementia recollecting past stories is a good way of stimulating and communicating.

Today’s objective as always is to make the most of our time in a positive and productive way whenever we can.

The spiritual self

I consider myself very fortunate to be a spiritual person and to be surrounded by family members (many of whom are the younger generation) who are in touch with this side of their being and share interest with me on meditation, positive living and quantum physics.

Earlier this year I attended a conference and heard Ervin Laszlo speak  – an amazing humanist and scientist. I have  just read ‘What is consciousness’ written by this great man and two equally thought provoking sages.

Ervin speaks of the real value of having a community of givers who ‘thrive through empathy, solidarity and love.’ Now that’s a world I want to live in.

The ability to give of oneself freely enables us to reach a clearer understanding of our own purpose and brings out the best in others too.

As another great sage once said ‘be true to yourself’ and I try mum everyday whenever I can.

Time for your projects

I am guilty of neglecting my own projects and on a  regular basis. The art of juggling working, studying and family life is not easy for any of us.

Today I  have found time to return to one of my neglected writing projects and last editing of my:-

‘The Little Book of Kisses’ an amusing look at the art of kissing which I will shortly be putting onto kindle in time for Christmas and in readiness for Valentines 2017.

I am just hoping I can convince my extremely talented nephew to again do the honours and create a suitable cover.

 

Bereavement -supporting children

The bereavement journey is indeed a difficult one and never more so than for children. Death of a close relative may come at an early age and before a child has yet learned the adult vocabulary with which to express how they are feeling.

I am advised it is Grief Awareness Month for Children and my advice is not to struggle ensure you get help for yourself and your children. There are also excellent books available to help children understand in an age appropriate way. One of my favourites being ‘Badger’s Parting Gifts.’

I have a project of my own A Ragdoll for Nanny’ which I am hoping to use to help a bereavement charity at some stage.  Having lost a parent at an early age and helped my own daughter with loss of grandparents very young I can speak from personal experience.

I always advise parents to let their children’s school know what is happening to gain as much support as possible. For children at senior school please look at my piece on Innovate My School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/bereavement-helping-pupils-and-towards-recovery

Anti-bullying

Later this month it is Anti-bullying awareness week and I hope the various connected charities will be well supported during this time and schools nationally take full advantage of this platform.

However, we all need to be aware of bullying every day and the various forms it takes. Additionally, the growing concerns to parents of the increase and attitude towards cyber-bullying one of the downsides of modern media.This leaves our children subjected to 24/7 attacks from those that choose this cruel way to intimidate others.

Please see my article on Innovate My School’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Be safe be aware. Some may be comforted by the fact that statistics say most bullies go on to suffer with depression in later life…I would prefer they are encouraged from an early age to STOP IT for everyone’s sake! Whereas a large proportion of victims don’t tell anybody they are being bullied an even more worrying statistic.