Time passes quickly

This week for many friends and family there has been nothing but sad news. Sometimes in life it feels like there is a cluster of negative things happening around of us and of course it is. This is life but so too are all the great days and weeks that we have flying past trouble free and which we all take for granted.

When we lose people close to us it makes us reflect on our own lives and hopefully drives us to make the best of what we have and be the best we can be. Living a day at a time realistically that is all any of us can do and fretting over things won’t make them go away.

Focusing our energies on doing what we enjoy, achieving our dreams and remembering to have fun and laugh are the best remedies for survival. Laughter is of course the best tonic and I am aware that some of the daft things I say and do cause those around me to be at times a bit surprise, embarrassed but at least it makes them laugh.

I played a funny trick on a close friend last week and we are both still giggling like school girls and why not! Being over fifty doesn’t mean we have to a) behave like it b) dress like it and c) lose our sense of humour. Anyway I am still deciding what I am going to be when I grow up… for now I am just a recyled teenager!!

After a day of serious work I will join friends tonight to put the worlds to right, eat crisps (unhealthy I know) and laugh.

Time passes quickly so make the most of every day and yes housework can wait.

Keeping children safe

I know a lot of people will object to announcements of sex education within schools at such an early age. However, I am often reminding mothers of young children to talk about how they protect them and why and reminding them that private parts are just that.

Sadly people in various positions of trust take advantage of our children and awareness should be addressed but handled in the correct way. Every child is different and there is never a one size fits all.

Of course as parents and/or professionals we have the benefit of great support charities with the best of advice readily available online or by contacting them by phone. NSPCC and Childline are only to pleased to discuss any concerns and gie advice.

If you are worried or concerned about anything don’t ignore your instincts but seek help. Whether that be your GP, Minister – Safeguarding teams are in place to help investigate such issues.

If your child has access to phone, tablets or laptops ensure you know what they are viewing and accessing, moreover who has access to them. Preventative rather than cure is always the best way to keep your child safe.

Politeness, kindness and understanding

As we all rush through our busy day it is oh too easy to forget politeness, kindness or understanding. However, these three ‘guys’ should always be our best friends and applied throughout the day not just when we feel we have time!

It doesn’t take much to offer a kind word, listen and be understanding of others as we never know what is going on in somebody’s life and a kind word or deed can go such a long way.

Politeness often gets forgotten about but it is just another way of being considerate..en route to brunch with my great life coach pal a woman let a store door go in my face..her life obviously so busy she couldn’t just glance behind her!

Too often people rush around in a world of their own without consideration of others and I can guarantee their lives are not busier than the rest of us either. Another beef of mine is when people are rude to waitresses or people serving in shops..no excuses!

So slow down, think what’s going on around you and how you can make life a little bit better by a small act of kindness.

 

Cyber bullying

I am going to again mention the subject of cyber bullying as we continual to hear extremely sad cases on too regular a basis to ignore.Teens self harm, develop eating problems and many cases are leading to child suicide.

As I often write when I was younger bullying at school may just be during the school day  (that was bad enough) nowadays the bullies have access to their victims 24/7. I am reminding parents who follow my blog that schools can still act upon bullying outside the school environment if it is affecting a child’s wellbeing at school and/or being a cause for them to be absent from school.

Please tell the school if your child in having bullying of any description so they can take the relevant action and stamp out bullying. School life, especially for teens is stressful enough without the added cruelty of online bullying. Modern media enables bullying to take a life of its own as people quickly join in, often ,without realising, just how much agony they are causing to the subject of their adverse attention.

I remind the culprits in life it’s not a joke if the victim isn’t laughing…think would you like it happening to you?

If I were a parent of a child who bullies in this way the phone would go for good.

 

Oesophageal Cancer

Awareness or knowledge is power as we know. Those that know me well recognise my reasons to frequently discuss oesophageal cancer and help the OPA with awareness.

Oesophageal cancer is one of the most misdiagnosed or undiagnosed cancers and symptoms often go untreated with patients opting for indigestion remedies. Please No No No!

Indeed those in the know have been actively trying to get the packaging on such remedies to record ‘if symptoms persist please consult a doctor’.

This week a great man who certainly wasted no time in discussing his own cancer and helping with awareness has died. Steve Hewlett the Radio 4 Presenter shared his own journey in many interviews and articles throughout his illness. Our thoughts of course are with his family and close friends.

Having survived severe problems myself I truly know the importance of seeing the right specialists asap don’t ignore health issues.

 

Stop the bullies

My regular followers will know I like to help with awareness of seeking support for bullying. The worrying fact being very few victims of bullying actually find the courage to talk to somebody, thus giving the bullies ultimate control.

Speaking earlier this week to a well-respected childminder she agreed that bullying can start at a very early age in school and if parents are made aware they must take this up with their children’s school.

Yesterday they had a phone-in on the subject of bullying on Good Morning TV programme with a heartbreaking story from a parent with a seven year old son being the subject of horrendous bullying. At whatever age we fall prey to bullying it has a detrimental affect on not just our wellbeing but our self-esteem.

Bullies themselves are unhappy children/adults and those that grow out of this cowardly act often go on to suffer with depression. Please visit Anti-Bullying Alliance’s website for advice and online courses.

Please read my article on Innovate my School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Keeping positive

Maintaining a positive outlook can be a real challenge for most of us as life throws a curved ball that we were not expecting. There is no secret to coping with life but by staying mindful and keeping things in perspective we can at least get through the day without being consumed by the stress of a situation.

Coping with life’s rich tapestry we hope gets easier with age but that is not always the case and we are never too old to seek advice and support. My continued advice when asked is to communicate about what is troubling us and this doesn’t always have to be with a family member or close friend. It can often be more useful to speak to somebody from outside our unit who can remain unbiased and focused on the subject matter and in some circumstances provide constructive help and emotional support.

I know that I was extremely fortunate that I could discuss anything with my mother, and I would be lying to my followers and myself if I didn’t admit that this void has been hard to fill since she died. Equally when I have good news and want to share it with her I will possibly share with somebody else now.

I guess what I am saying is whatever you need to share there is always somebody around who is interested you just have to open up and give them that opportunity. Keeping things bottled up never really works in the long-term and either talking and/or writing will prove a therapeutic release and reduce stress related illnesses.

 

Touching lives

During our lives we will meet many people along the way some remain and some are just passing. Some we remain friends with the rest of our lives and they became part of our chosen family.

These ‘adopted family’ touch our lives in so many ways and more often than not enrich them albeit in tiny ways and we enjoy their company every time we meet up. I wonder do we ever tell them how special they actually are and the impact they have had on our lives though?

This weekend a close family friend died suddenly and has always been present at any family special ocassion…to us he was family and I sincerely hope he realised that. He was the epitome of a gentleman and was indeed a gentle man.

For family members who follow my blog you will know who I am referring to and we all know he will forever hold a special place in our hearts. No doubt he will soon be laughing in heaven with our beloved mum and sharing stories.

 

 

Work experience and social skills

Many of the more sensible students will have secured volunteering positions for half term and for those of you that were not as proactive or unlucky in your endeavours don’t be disheartened.

Now is the time to start approaching charities and organisations for the forthcoming Easter break. I know parents and teachers alike will be encouraging students to get work experience and improve their social skills.

What students have to bear in mind is that being a great academic is not enough your future university will be looking for characters with a good and interesting CV. Showing personal skills and ability to contribute something of value.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

‘A Mother’s Love’

‘A Mother’s Love’ will soon be available to download from Amazon. One of my own projects written whilst being a mature student passing my counselling qualifications and reflecting on my own personal journey and my relationship with my amazing mother. Extract from my book’s introduction:-

‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.

The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’

Annie Manning MASC (CBT) ©