The loss of a child is grief beyond comprehension to most parents. I know my aunt never really recovered after my cousin was killed tragically in a car accident just age 18.

This weekend sees the 20th anniversary of Dunblane. I watched the emotive BBC documentary earlier this week and was amazed at those families sharing their experiences.

I was particularly impressed by the Headmaster both in interviews featured at the time of this terrible event and in taking part in the documentary. His own words he described how difficult it is to keep the box in his head with those memories closed.

The ripple effect of grief was also mentioned which people often forget, aside of the family and close friends tragedies such as this affect whole communities.

How wonderful it was when all the children returned to school just nine days after and what moved me was how one of the surviving children, although shot, refused to allow it to define who he is..it is just what happened.

I always encourage those going through bereavement not to define their loved ones by how they died but by how they lived their life and who they were.