Remembering loved ones

The past few months have been extremely emotive for many relatives and friends in my circle. There’s always such a pressure at Christmas to be happy, when perhaps one is not. Samaritans are bringing awareness to this fact today confirming that such a large percentage of us are sad at Christmas but do things to make others happy.

We all cope with our emotions in our own way and life is constantly busy which sometimes prevents people from releasing maybe their grief openly. As I remind people going through bereavement there are no rules, or schedule or one size fits all.

However, we should all be able to grieve the way we want to, privately if that’s what we prefer and remembering those we have loved and lost in a way we feel is appropriate to respect that person and in our own way.

We can go many months moving forward and suddenly something will trigger a memory and we will feel the loss again, this may be a song, or a smell or a nonsensical memory. If this trigger makes us cry it’s no bad thing either these controlled emotions need to be released. Hanging on to emotions only leads to stress related illness or sleepless nights.

My message today is talk to people about how you feel and remember nobody has the right to dictate to others how they choose to grieve. Finally, remember that those we love and have lost would want us to go on living and loving as that’s the best tribute to their memory. We keep them alive in our hearts and that’s all anyone can expect.

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