Bereavement..the journey

I am of an age where so many colleagues and friends are now facing the loss of their parents. For some this may be expected following long term health problems and for others it may be as a result of something unexpected.

There are of course no easy ways to say goodbye to our loving mentors but the best way to honour their memory is to go onto achieve their dreams and those of your own. So often I talk to people who are torn with regards to how they feel uncomfortable in expressing their personal grief, and, for some, without feeling they are neglecting other family members.

I have always maintained that we keep our loved ones alive in our hearts and by talking about them rather than denying their existence or our feelings of great sadness in their passing. Grief takes on many forms and shapes and there is no ‘normal way’ and  at times something apparently non-related to our feelings will spark an emotion that we may feel unable to control.

Our senses will play a very important role for years to come as we may hear a piece of music which reminds us of our loved one. I found this personally to be the case whilst watching ‘Rocket man‘ (which if you haven’t seen it do so it is a brilliant film.) Elton John was a previous boyfriend’s fave artist – sadly he died at a young age but hearing this music transported me back in time with fond memories of young love.

Our sense of smell will also trigger memories – fresh lavender always reminds me of my maternal grandmother…and of course those mothballs -a firm favourite of ladies of a certain age of the time!

For those of you recently bereaved my thoughts are with you…cherish the memories, and if you need support don’t be afraid to seek it.

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