I am thrilled today as the artwork for my book cover is finalised by the talented Graphics Designer Paul Manning.
‘A Mother’s Love’ ..Gospels according to Dorothy will be available from Amazon kindle in the coming days.
Friends have been nagging me to write down my amazing mother’s tips and sayings for years. I hope my blog followers will enjoy reading my story and hers.
I have lost count over the past months where colleagues and friends have spoken about their life’s compromise and how do they re-address the balance?
We use such words too easily and often incorrectly we are often told how not to compromise ourselves too much but in reality life, or indeed certain elements, may indeed feel like we are compromised but life is about adjusting and acceptance too.
I would remind my followers today that the feeling of being compromised may be as a result of choices we have made either on our own or jointly. Often we make decisions based on information to hand at the time and/or to please others. Of course neither of these choices is completely wrong but in our aim to please we may feel we hand over too much control. Wanting to please others in itself is no bad thing but remember we are important too, so is our own happiness and moreover our peace of mind.
Just living day by day of course is always favourable and not allowing our fears to consume us is sound advice. However, at times even the best of us who on the surface are immune to stress feel vulnerable and not in control.
My message today is to relax, do things you enjoy to balance out the stress of life, be mindful and be kind to yourself and not hard on yourself.
To quote Billy Idol..the future’s so bright got to wear shades!
Today I salute all my fabulous female friends, family members and fellow female colleagues, and of course, fellow writers…we are all doing an amazing job.
Only yesterday I was discussing with a close female friend how great we all are, the way we juggle and prioritise on our feet day by day all year long. The devotion we give to our families and if appropriate our clients too.
For many of us if we have had the added bonus of great mentors along the way even better; mine was my beautiful mother and then a female barrister in my mid-twenties both of whom encouraged me to be the best I can and embrace new challenges.
Celebrate being a successful woman but be mindful of those who live in other countries where opportunities are for some non-existent and/or have a real struggle to just survive let alone flourish.
A special message of love and respect to my wonderful daughter who is blossoming into a beautiful young woman who makes me proud every day.
Huge thank you to all those inspirational women who when met with adversity or personal loss channel their energy into achieving great things which benefit us all.
This week for many friends and family there has been nothing but sad news. Sometimes in life it feels like there is a cluster of negative things happening around of us and of course it is. This is life but so too are all the great days and weeks that we have flying past trouble free and which we all take for granted.
When we lose people close to us it makes us reflect on our own lives and hopefully drives us to make the best of what we have and be the best we can be. Living a day at a time realistically that is all any of us can do and fretting over things won’t make them go away.
Focusing our energies on doing what we enjoy, achieving our dreams and remembering to have fun and laugh are the best remedies for survival. Laughter is of course the best tonic and I am aware that some of the daft things I say and do cause those around me to be at times a bit surprise, embarrassed but at least it makes them laugh.
I played a funny trick on a close friend last week and we are both still giggling like school girls and why not! Being over fifty doesn’t mean we have to a) behave like it b) dress like it and c) lose our sense of humour. Anyway I am still deciding what I am going to be when I grow up… for now I am just a recyled teenager!!
After a day of serious work I will join friends tonight to put the worlds to right, eat crisps (unhealthy I know) and laugh.
Time passes quickly so make the most of every day and yes housework can wait.
Awareness or knowledge is power as we know. Those that know me well recognise my reasons to frequently discuss oesophageal cancer and help the OPA with awareness.
Oesophageal cancer is one of the most misdiagnosed or undiagnosed cancers and symptoms often go untreated with patients opting for indigestion remedies. Please No No No!
Indeed those in the know have been actively trying to get the packaging on such remedies to record ‘if symptoms persist please consult a doctor’.
This week a great man who certainly wasted no time in discussing his own cancer and helping with awareness has died. Steve Hewlett the Radio 4 Presenter shared his own journey in many interviews and articles throughout his illness. Our thoughts of course are with his family and close friends.
Having survived severe problems myself I truly know the importance of seeing the right specialists asap don’t ignore health issues.
Maintaining a positive outlook can be a real challenge for most of us as life throws a curved ball that we were not expecting. There is no secret to coping with life but by staying mindful and keeping things in perspective we can at least get through the day without being consumed by the stress of a situation.
Coping with life’s rich tapestry we hope gets easier with age but that is not always the case and we are never too old to seek advice and support. My continued advice when asked is to communicate about what is troubling us and this doesn’t always have to be with a family member or close friend. It can often be more useful to speak to somebody from outside our unit who can remain unbiased and focused on the subject matter and in some circumstances provide constructive help and emotional support.
I know that I was extremely fortunate that I could discuss anything with my mother, and I would be lying to my followers and myself if I didn’t admit that this void has been hard to fill since she died. Equally when I have good news and want to share it with her I will possibly share with somebody else now.
I guess what I am saying is whatever you need to share there is always somebody around who is interested you just have to open up and give them that opportunity. Keeping things bottled up never really works in the long-term and either talking and/or writing will prove a therapeutic release and reduce stress related illnesses.
During our lives we will meet many people along the way some remain and some are just passing. Some we remain friends with the rest of our lives and they became part of our chosen family.
These ‘adopted family’ touch our lives in so many ways and more often than not enrich them albeit in tiny ways and we enjoy their company every time we meet up. I wonder do we ever tell them how special they actually are and the impact they have had on our lives though?
This weekend a close family friend died suddenly and has always been present at any family special ocassion…to us he was family and I sincerely hope he realised that. He was the epitome of a gentleman and was indeed a gentle man.
For family members who follow my blog you will know who I am referring to and we all know he will forever hold a special place in our hearts. No doubt he will soon be laughing in heaven with our beloved mum and sharing stories.
‘A Mother’s Love’ will soon be available to download from Amazon. One of my own projects written whilst being a mature student passing my counselling qualifications and reflecting on my own personal journey and my relationship with my amazing mother. Extract from my book’s introduction:-
‘They say there is nothing stronger than the bond between a mother and her children and for the really lucky ones amongst us aside of that bond may come a lifetime of the best mentoring one can receive and, of course, a beautiful friendship.
The advice given selflessly by a mother is based on her own wisdom, life’s experiences and driven by pure love and a desire to help you reach your potential safely and feeling secure in that love.’
Annie Manning MASC (CBT) ©
Some people are born worriers and will never grasp that worrying about things will not change them or give them control. Indeed half of our worries we never have. A few years ago I attended an interesting talk about body language and the speaker Vic Botterill gave a statistical break down on our worries or should I say what we perceive as our worries.
40% will never happen
30% related to the past which one cannot do anything about
12% unfounded health concerns
10% too petty to even worry about
4% substantially beyond our control
Totalling a resounding 96% leaving 4% so not much to worry about then!
*Stats courtesy of Vic Botterill
Seriously, though many people spend far too much time stressing over the small stuff and as a close family member said recently since facing bereavement it helps one to put things into perspective.
Of course there is another way to help with matters causing you anxiety and that is of course to talk about them. The old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.
There has been a lot of press coverage of late encouraging people to be happy, grateful and to communicate more and that doesn’t mean via facebook or texting. Indeed the modern technology that everybody allows to run their lives leaves many young people facing feelings of negativity and many feeling their life isn’t as beautiful or as good as everyone else’s.
The reality is those images are not the real life and often people hide behind the smile of their selfies. So my message for the weekend is to go out and live your life and have real conversations with real people and, teens, trust me you won’t learn valuable social skills being glued to your phone!
Tell those you love that you love them and if appropriate what is worrying you as they would want to know.
Vic…if you are reading my blog today have a great weekend.
I know that today is cancer awareness day and the valuable work the various charities do to support families and raise funds for research is to be saluted.
There are very few families that haven’t been touched by cancer and in our family we have had more than our share. However, we must be positive in increasing awareness and encouraging those that suspect they have a health problem to get it checked as soon as possible as quite likely it may well turn out not to be something sinister. Equally if cancer is discovered early it can be cured in many cases. Being fearful can often prevent us from thinking logically.
Oddly enough today was my Step Father William’s birthday. Billy to us and sadly he died from cancer but as I remind people on a regular basis the illness is not the person… that is what he had. He was a remarkable man who was step father to two families in his life and they all loved and admired him greatly. Step parents so often get bad preess, with many deservedly so..but to my family members who follow my blog I will ask them to take a moment today and remember Billy fondly as the gentle giant of a man he was.
For those nursing loved ones I send my thoughts and spiritual hug as I know how difficult this journey can be. Long term illnesses also affect the grieving process to a certain degree as we already mourn our loved one before they die and their passing often comes as a blessing.
But as I was reminded earlier this week at least it gives us an opportunity to say good bye to somebody we love.
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