Exam and Revision stress

So for many students it is now full on revising leading up to the exam period. As always I am mindful this is a very difficult time for many students of all ages. The key is to get plenty of rest and keep hydrated. To ensure that the cramming sessions are broken into realistic chunks with time off for regular exercise if possible as that really helps cognitively. Remember to include relaxation and treats into your schedules.

Treats don’t necessarily mean a bagful of chocolate; as your complexion may be more sensitive to and likely to react in skin break-outs brought on by stress at this time, but regular intake of water will really help with this too!

A bit of pampering girls is always a good idea, whether this be a manicure,  a new hair style or if the budget runs to it maybe a massage. A break away from the laptop to the cinema may be just the break you need along with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream obviously.

Seriously, now, keep focused but mindful and if you are feeling really stressed talk to somebody, if this isn’t your parent, talk to a tutor, or pastoral care they will always be supportive and may have some excellent tips that are really easy to implement on a day to day basis. Many colleges and universities have all sorts of stress buster ideas and schemes so find out what yours has to offer and make ultimate use of what’s available.

Please don’t suffer in silence but avoid taking on other student’s stress -it is easy for others to make you feel stressed it can be contagious.

I will be posting regular tips throughout May and June so keep following. I will be invigilating again this summer so I see fully appreciate how stressful it can be for many students. I will be posting little tips for ‘on the exam day’ too.

Keep calm, focused and keep positive.

 

Bereavement awareness…the young Royals

Well done to the younger Royals for speaking out about bereavement and mental illness. Increasing awareness and the importance for people who are sufffering to talk will definitely help take the stigma away from these subjects which have been taboos for far too long. Like their mother Diana they are using their positions to do great and positive work.

Sharing their own experiences of their own bereavement journey in losing their own mother is both personal, brave and will, I am certain, help many people struggling to come to terms with their own loss.

Both princes show great compassion and are extremely humble when talking to representatives of support charities who are so often run and indeed started up by people who have experienced their own tragic loss or on-going mental illness.

The pain which we cannot see in others, often concealed well, certainly needs as much awareness and funding as any other worthy cause.

 

 

The power of sleep

Lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems aside of the obvious tiredness our reactions are not as quick and swapping to grumpy mode can be easier than normal.

For a number of reasons I am hardly sleeping lately and fight against the tiredness to get things done. However, my intelligence tells me to listen to my poor old body and curl up and sleep just as my two cats are as I write today’s blog.

This morning, I have been sensible cancelled a meeting and did not drive until I am feeling more awake. Taking it slightly easy this morning before working with clients this afternoon. Animals take recovery from injury or illness very seriously alas us humans think we are indestructable when of course we are not.

I am always advising friends and family to take things easier when unwell and maybe today it’s a case of healer heal thy self! Seriously I think I will come back as a cat next time as long as I go to a good home a bit of life time pampering sounds good to me.

 

 

 

The bereavement journey

I am mindful that those in early stages of the bereavement process often feel isolated in their grief. This is often compounded by those around them, maybe family members also suffering in silence and close friends not knowing what to say.

There are no right words and this continues to be apparrent even many years after the loss of a loved one has passed. As I was saying earlier this week to a friend coping with another sad anniversary, nobody knows you are drowning in your grief unless you tell them..they just think you are waving. Often we can feel almost disappointed with those close for ‘not knowing/realising’ but two pieces of advice I offer is not to be to hard on one’s self and not have too high an expectation of others to do or say the right thing!

Bereavement is painful and there are no quick routes, but as I say the times we seem consumed by grief are times when we are letting it come to the surface rather than pretend we are ‘fine’. Emotions need to be released not surpressed and talking about our feelings, which may include anger or even misplaced blame in some cases really does help.

Don’t struggle alone seek help and for those thinking ‘I don’t go to church regularly so I can’t talk to my local minister’…think again you may be surprised how helpful and supportive they can be. There are many excellent support charities around too so take advantage of any groups locally.

Don’t forget writing can be extermely therapeutic even if nobody ever reads it but you. I know when I ran my writers group my members really benefited from using this way to share and reveal their feelings.

 

Good news for a change

I have been off line for a few days knee deep in admin, accounts but also enjoying working with my clients and hopefully making a difference to those in need of support.

Let’s face it there has been nothing but sad news of late but isn’t it great when we learn that within the medical profession they are making great in-roads into research and advance technology for stroke survivors.

It is no secret that time is of the essence in terms of getting the right help and quickly to anyone having a stroke and The Stroke Association regularly roll out the FAST adverts:

Face, Arms, Speech…time to call an ambulance.

This week we hear more about the ground-breaking operation a mechanical thrombectomy which can make a real difference but it has to be performed within six hours.

As with most charities awareness is as vital as the actual fundraising and I cannot recommend The Stroke Association enough -great support and amazing information to help both the stroke survivor and their carers. So if you are thinking of a new charity to support this is one to consider.

To anyone supporting a loved one who has recently had a stroke remember for many it is like a mini-bereavement, as they try to come to terms with the loss, maybe temporary or longer term of the loss of use of their limbs or speech. Keeping their spirits positive is vital and being informed will help both them and you –The Stroke Association can do this.

 

‘A Mother’s Love’

‘A Mother’s Love’ My Mum said..Gospels according to Dorothy’  by Annie Manning is now available from Amazon to download. A Kindle publication @ £3.99 sharing advice and memories of the amazing relationship between a daughter and mother.

A reflective read acknowledging the role of a great mentor and best friend.

Mother-s love (1)

Suffering in silence

For far too long and for many reasons children have to a certain extent been encouraged to suffer in silence where bereavement is concerned. I frequently write about the damage ignoring the existence of a loved one who has died can do. Often with best intentions death becomes a taboo subject within a family unit.

As age appropriate for the child concerned encouraging talking about happy memories sensitively helps accept that death is part of life. It also helps keep our loved ones alive in our hearts. Remember that two children in a family will have a completely different journey through their grief too.

Equally, the death of a pet may be the first experience for a child and gives parents an opportunity to talk about death and how to celebrate the relationships we have when people are with us and celebrate their life rather than focus on the illness or the way in which they died.

All grown up..tubbies

It is Friday so a less serious blog. I understand that today the Telly Tubbies are twenty! Wow where did that time go to? The baby featured in the sun image is now at university as are most of the avid fans of those early showings.

It was part of the early morning routine getting my daughter ready with the Telly Tubbies song playing in the background. Her dad used to make her tubby toast and for ages the vacuum cleaner was known as the noo noo!

In years to come there will be a similar generation raised on Peppa Pig I guess! The merchandising always brings in a small fortune to said programmes as relatives rush to by the latest product. We all fall for it…my great niece is coming for a visit tomorrow bound to be something piggy in the playbag!

So to all you Dipsy, tinkywinky, lala and po fans doing so well at university being a tubby fan didn’t do you any harm after all!

 

Stop the bullies

So pleased to see the increased awareness and publicity encouraging kindness and for children to speak up about being bullied. Too many children suffer in silence.

Sadly most bullies suffer from low self-esteem, may have been bullied themselves and statistically often go on to suffer from depression in later life when they finally reflect on their actions. Banter rarely is banter it’s bullying – questionable teasing is only funny when people are laughing not crying or far worse.

Please read my articles on Innovate My School’s Website including:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying

 

Helping children through bereavement

Regular followers will know that I frequently blog about supporting children through bereavement. The best thing one can ever do is to encourage a child to talk, share and remember their loved one…denying their existence is unhelpful. However, when a whole family is mourning it is very difficult to measure at what stage of the bereavement process each member has reached. We are ready to talk and open up when we are ready there are no right or wrong ways and everyone will grieve in their own way.  Remember grief is private but if we share it the journey becomes easier.

I salute Rio Ferdinand for having the courage to produce the documentary showed last night ‘Being Mum and Dad’ . He gave an honest account of just how hard it is to not only lose a partner but support children mourning their mother. The programme featured several of the main charities that offer practical support to children and encourage the bereaved to remember their loved ones by writing notes and keeping them in a memory jar. He also spoke to other widows who shared their own emotive stories.

I never forget the amazing way our own mother coped with being widowed with five children to comfort too. Her story and mine are told in  ‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is now available to download from Amazon kindle.

As I have said several times we keep our loved ones alive in our mind and our heart.