The spiritual self

I consider myself very fortunate to be a spiritual person and to be surrounded by family members (many of whom are the younger generation) who are in touch with this side of their being and share interest with me on meditation, positive living and quantum physics.

Earlier this year I attended a conference and heard Ervin Laszlo speak  – an amazing humanist and scientist. I have  just read ‘What is consciousness’ written by this great man and two equally thought provoking sages.

Ervin speaks of the real value of having a community of givers who ‘thrive through empathy, solidarity and love.’ Now that’s a world I want to live in.

The ability to give of oneself freely enables us to reach a clearer understanding of our own purpose and brings out the best in others too.

As another great sage once said ‘be true to yourself’ and I try mum everyday whenever I can.

Bereavement -supporting children

The bereavement journey is indeed a difficult one and never more so than for children. Death of a close relative may come at an early age and before a child has yet learned the adult vocabulary with which to express how they are feeling.

I am advised it is Grief Awareness Month for Children and my advice is not to struggle ensure you get help for yourself and your children. There are also excellent books available to help children understand in an age appropriate way. One of my favourites being ‘Badger’s Parting Gifts.’

I have a project of my own A Ragdoll for Nanny’ which I am hoping to use to help a bereavement charity at some stage.  Having lost a parent at an early age and helped my own daughter with loss of grandparents very young I can speak from personal experience.

I always advise parents to let their children’s school know what is happening to gain as much support as possible. For children at senior school please look at my piece on Innovate My School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/bereavement-helping-pupils-and-towards-recovery

Anti-bullying

Later this month it is Anti-bullying awareness week and I hope the various connected charities will be well supported during this time and schools nationally take full advantage of this platform.

However, we all need to be aware of bullying every day and the various forms it takes. Additionally, the growing concerns to parents of the increase and attitude towards cyber-bullying one of the downsides of modern media.This leaves our children subjected to 24/7 attacks from those that choose this cruel way to intimidate others.

Please see my article on Innovate My School’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Be safe be aware. Some may be comforted by the fact that statistics say most bullies go on to suffer with depression in later life…I would prefer they are encouraged from an early age to STOP IT for everyone’s sake! Whereas a large proportion of victims don’t tell anybody they are being bullied an even more worrying statistic.

Personal statements

I know many students depending on their chosen career may have already submitted their personal statements. However I know there are many of you out there planning and even struggling to work on yours now.

My following articles on Innovate My School’s website hopefully offer some useful advice to students and teachers alike.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1617-seven-tips-for-writing-your-personal-statement.html

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

Good luck with the process and future studying towards those exams.

Pet bereavement

I was pleased to see the subject of pet bereavement being discussed on daytime TV yesterday. Often people forget how attached pet owners are to their beloved pooch or moggy.

Speaking as a parent often through keeping a pet a child learns about responsibility and their first encounter with grief may indeed be through the loss of a pet hamster.

I think the mistake parents often make is in trying to protect their children’s emotions they invent strange stories as to where the deceased animal has gone to, and even replace a goldfish with another pretending it is the same one.

We cannot run from death and the earlier a child understands about loss but in a controlled way the better. There is no right age to accept or a right way of breaking bad news we just have to do the best we can.

However, there are of course great books available pitched age appropriate which can help with the loss of grandparent say. If you feel you need outside help do not feel embarrassed to ask as often you may be going through the same emotions yourself and a bereavement counsellor can help make the journey easier for both you and your child.

Broken Forest

At the weekend I attended a Gig locally(ST Albans)  and had the opportunity to listen to Luise (Broken Forest).  I was very impressed with this young artist who treated the audience to a great acoustic set.

If I have any criticism it was too short…but that was because she was accompanying another band also known to me.

Seriously, this female singer/musician has a truly silken voice and as I complimented her… it was like a clear Celtic vocal. I understand her roots are in Germany but as we agreed, if we are honest, we are all a mixture of various nationalities and she was not offended by the Celtic comparison!

Wherever this vocalist gets that voice from it is  well-worth going to see her live.

Her website is http://www.broken-forest.com

By the way Luise I love your visuals on your promotional material and the lyrics were very poetic. Enjoyed the Peter Pan inspired track.

 

Sign the petition for Rosie’s backpacker safety campaign

I have just read the interview with Mia Ayliffe’s Mother in ‘The Mail on Sunday’. Her daughter, a student taken tragically whilst backpacking. Rosie’s words resonate with me and any mother reading this emotive and honest piece.

As our children go off to university and/or a gap year we worry about their safety for all sorts of reasons. However, none of us want to stop them following their dreams.

Rosie admits that in her head her daughter is still away in Australia and I have had similar conversations with the bereaved friends and families in similar situations as they struggle to come to terms with their loss.

My blog supporters and followers know how often I write about the strength of a Mother’s Love. My book of the same title currently with my publishers. What never fails to amaze me is how some individuals whilst having to work through their grief decide to channel their energy into something positive and more often that not for the benefits of others.

Mia’s mother has started a safety campaign for backpackers and I would urge my followers to sign her petition which can be found by visiting her Twitter page @RosieAyliffe.

 

Coping with loss

This week there have been various charities and individuals thankfully increasing awareness about the loss of a child and/or baby whether this be through illness or in the early stages of pregnancy as a miscarriage. Women who have miscarried are so often not afforded the same or similar consideration or support as those women who have given birth then lost their child although it is still a traumatic loss.This delicate subject has even been aired in the House of Commons…at last!

As the ‘Loose Women’ today  have acknowledged; from the start a woman knows she is pregnant along with the usual anxieties she also has started to dream about that life and the future of that child…regardless of how many people she has chosen to tell she is pregnant.

It is no secret that many people find death and bereavement difficult subjects to discuss and as I often write this doesn’t help the person who is grieving in any way at all.

Furthermore, it is nobody’s right to tell another that their way of grieving is wrong and/or it is time they have moved on and accepted their loss. We all grieve in different ways at different speed and this should be respected.

To all those women who have lost a child or experienced a miscarriage it a pain that may get easier in time but is never forgotten and as with all emotions things will trigger a memory and the tears with flow…don’t forget it is good to cry rather than hold in one’s emotions. It is vital to talk to somebody about your feelings at whatever stage in the grieving process you are at…it really does help to share.

 

 

A Woman’s place…

Working these past months with some of my amazing and lovely female elderly clients  we often discuss how things have changed over the years. How the role of women has changed.

We often share stories and sayings that our mothers and grandmothers used to say. One I heard my mother often say when a machine was getting the better of her was; ‘Don’t be beaten by man or machine‘ and I try to remind myself of those wise words when trying to get to grips with my latest mobile phone.

Today I heard the male equivalent ‘Don’t be kicked by a woman nor horse!’ .

All joking aside there is of course some sadness when we study the females portrayed in such great films as ‘Pride and Prejudice’ when the order of the day for young ladies was to not leave the house without one’s bonnet or gloves and a trip to town was to choose new ribbons. Reflecting upon those times are we leaving the house half-naked girls??

Revisiting those romantic novels we read as teenagers is often therapeutic and relaxing for the mature ladies as it is good to remember how things used to be .

Alzheimer’s Society

Yet again I am promoting the Alzheimer’s Society who have just provided me with  a second batch of amazing literature. I cannot praise their support and standard of advice enough it has been of great benefit in helping me in my own research of Dementia and in supporting those around me with loved ones facing this personal challenge.

To anybody working with and/or supporting Dementia sufferers please ensure you take full advantage of their support both in terms of material and advice.

Their helpline for England, Wales and Northern Ireland is 0300 222 1122

As their literature states they are ‘leading the fight against dementia’ and they are!