happiness

Being supportive

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I have just returned from a great brunch with my life coach pal where we share experiences ‘generically’ of projects we are working on and specific areas of counselling we are involved in and researching.

We are both mindful that whether we are working with a stroke survivor, a bereavement client or a teenager suffering with stress that there is always a family unit that are also trying as best they can to support the individual having counselling or coaching.

The more assistance and support a family can receive the better the chances of recovery and this may include extended family and teachers. Awareness is always essential to ensure that allowances are made in a constructive way and as we know information is power.

An additional factor a counsellor has to always bear in mind is not to break any confidentialities to any parties and at times this can be met with objections but trust takes time to earn and is vital to the process and to allow us to remain professional at all times and codes of ethics.

There is no reason to struggle with emotional problems there is help available and the first brave step is recognising you need help and then asking for it.

Writing is therapeutic

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Writing as we know can be extremely therapeutic even if nobody reads what you have written. In writing down your thoughts and emotions you are starting to let them go and you will feel lighter.

Over the years I have run writers groups and been amazed at the honesty as well as the talent apparent ‘non-writers’ have and how well they express their emotions when given the chance.

Poetry is often a fun way for some as they can keep their thoughts limited to a word count or pattern of their own choice. However, the emotion and personal message will come through strongly, even irony and comedy when applied can help us make sense of what previously may have been too painful to discuss.

Keeping a journal and/or writing a blog is a great way to have a rant and start collating material to reflect on at a later date. Additionally writing down happy thoughts and reasons to be grateful can help us keep a positive balance and be mindful on a regular basis.

Being kind and grateful

~ credo2014 ~ 1 Comment

It has always been and will always be the case that to have that good friend you have to be that good friend. Being supportive and kind to others lays down the best foundation to move forward. We all have our bad days and some people have bad months or even bad years where a cluster of events beyond their control can consume them. When going through the times of challenge we turn to good friends who remind just where our strength and, where appropriate, our faith lies to draw on and help get us through.

This week I seem to be having some excellent heart to heart conversations with various family members and colleagues. Sometimes during times of bereavement in the midst of our despair we also begin to acknowledge what matters most, how not to allow little things to upset us but more importantly to be grateful for the good things in our life that daily we too easily take for granted.

There is no doubt in my mind experiencing the loss of a parent at a very early age made my own family closer and a realisation hit home (literally) that one never knows what is around the next corner. We were all raised to be mindful by an amazing mentor (our Mother) and to live a day at a time and live it well… love and laugh often as the fridge magnets say!

Remember kindness is indeed a strength and not a weakness -my own personal mantra.

My publication ‘A Mother’s love‘ will be available very soon

Choices for women

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Like many I have been appalled at some of the verbal abuse certain people in power have directed at women and/or the vulnerable. No names mentioned, but latest discussion on affecting the freedom of choice for women to have a termination of pregnancy for fear of ‘punishment’ is beyond belief.

Without getting into the reasoning behind specific religious beliefs and respecting those that maintain those beliefs there are many reasons why a woman should have the choice and be supported in that choice without shame. This ‘choice’ may be enforced following unwanted attention in the form of a sexual attack culminating in an unwanted pregnancy and/or for medical reasons or just personal circumstances.

In the same day we see women having to petition for the right not to be forced to wear high heels to work -again sheer madness. I am old enough to remember when girls were not allowed to wear trousers to work in the bank until the staff union stepped in.

In a fast growing world or progress it does seem unbelievable that we have to go backwards in terms of people being able to live their life the best they see fit the way they see fit.

 

Meanwhile we all run the risk of being killed by idiots using their mobile phones whilst driving or being in charge of a drone which can cause an airplane to crash, the latter reports are on the increase… now that is worrying. Let’s focus our attentions on the real law breakers putting us all at risk.

Being content

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Every where we look we are being given advice on diet, exercise and how to avoid stress. The secret to healthy mind and body is partly to be content and grateful. respect yourself and your own wellbeing and then you are of course better placed to help others.

A great deal of the success and longevity of the older generations has been, I was told today,was that they didn’t have great expectations and were more content with what they had. Definitely some truth in that, material things are not important we just get tricked into thinking we must have the lastest gadget, phone or accessory.

I remember somebody saying ‘the younger generation know the price of everything and the value of nothing’  -this all sounds very cynical and negative but to a certain degree this is also true and we must all take some responsibility for that too.

Being mindful and grateful on a day to day basis calms the mind and in turn helps us to achieve more and in a more orderly and productive manner. We place ourselves under personal stress by taking on too much we just don’t always realise it.

 

Bereavement is a painful journey

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

At my age I am surrounded by friends and extended family members who are sadly losing parents and other elderly relatives and friends. On the positive side people are living longer although the end of their life may then be challenging with health issues.

As I reminded a lovely close friend today;  however difficult it is we mustn’t allow grief to consume us but try to remind ourselves of positive aspects of our loved one’s life and character. Moreover remember to be grateful for the small things in our own lives that daily we too often take for granted.

As any good publication or article on mindfulness will suggest take time to enjoy even the simplest of activities whether that be doing the crossword, drinking your coffee or savouring that last square of chocolate. Doing something for you is not selfish it’s self-preservation.

The fast pace of life and the technological world in which we live keep us racing through life rather than living it to its best. As I also reminded a young working mother earlier today: Our crazy schedule is actually within our control if we so choose…and breathe easy.

 

The Little book of Kisses

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

 

My kindle book  ‘The Little Book of Kisses’ is available to download from Amazon. Written in my pen name Dolly Christmas giving a comical insight into the magical world of kissing.

little-book-of-kisses

What the world needs now is more humour and definitely more kissing!

At £3.50 a great Valentine’s gift or fun time read…life get’s just too serious.

Male depression

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

At last there is more public interest and awareness f or support and acknowledging male depression. As discussed during ‘This Morning’ TV show phone in there are so many men who find it hard to approach friends when suffering emotional problems.

It is not a weakness but a strength to open up and ask for help, that in itself takes real courage. The old tradition of men not discussing problems needs to change to allow those in need to feel able to seek help from friends and family.

Those who are feeling troubled and having suicidal thoughts should talk to a professional if they can, seek out help from local support groups and not be afraid to admit they are not coping. Giving the option those that love you really want to know how you are feeling and have the opportunity to help.

It has always been a case of a problem shared and vocalising how one feels rather than just remaining in a dark place alone in one’s mind really helps. Changes don’t happen over night but tiny steps to a more positive place is far easier than most imagine.

 

 

Cat comfort

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I often write on my blog about pet bereavement but today I would like to promote the value of owning and loving a pet. Cats and dogs provide great friendship, unconditional love and often bring a sense of calm into a family unit. I know my own feline friends always sense when I am either upset or unwell. It is proven statistically that owning and stroking a pet helps lower blood pressure and they are great companions for the elderly especially those that live on their own.

There have been many books written about the magical relationships cats have brought to residential home residents. Indeed when inspecting and viewing a series of homes for the elderly recently, I was very taken with one small unit which had its own resident moggy.

Additionally, those people that have dogs and walk them not only keep their pets healthy, get regular exercise themselves but also maintain contact with their local community which increases their wellbeing.

Cat and dog homes are often full to bursting and giving a home to an unwanted animal can bring great joy into their new owner’s life. Let’s not forget the great work all the working dogs do in helping those with disabilities often giving back independence.

 

Feeling healthier and fighting stress

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

At the start of the year we all make various promisess to ourselves about being happier, being more successful, being fitter, slimmer etc the list is endless. The trouble is maybe we set too many challenges at once and set ourselves up to fail.

Ideally and honestly be more realistic in what you want to achieve and set yourself a realistic time frame in which to work to. Tiny steps that are easy to manage and maintain will always work better. Sometimes we are inspired by that summer holiday to eat healthier and trim down but whilst those targets are good they are too often not changes for life.

For those really wanting to make a difference to how they feel and look the diet and exercise change has to be life-long to really feel the benefits not just visually but physically. Healthy mind, healthy body … understanding why and when we eat the wrong things (comfort eating) it will be easier to then change our relationship with food for the better and, longer term, is without the best way.

Often people get into a cycle of feeling lethargic through eating all the wrong things then feeling too sluggish to exercise and so the cycle begins. We all go through periods of denial and excuse making but once we regain a healthier state we achieve more and therefore feel less stressed.The cycle we then reach and live within is one of positivity and healthy well-being.

Let’s make 2017 the year to feel healthier and happier it’s actually far easier than you fear.