love

A Mother’s Love

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I still find on a day to day basis whether writing, counselling or just talking with friends over dinner I never fail to mention my amazing mentor, my mother.

As a family we were extremely fortunate to have such a strong character guiding us through life. I finally got around this year to writing some of her teachings down.

‘A Mother’s Love‘ Gospels according to Dorothy is available to download from Amazon kindle under my own name (Annie Manning) rather than one of my pen names! I hope my regular followers will enjoy reading this emotive project and find one or two gems to help them too.

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Keeping the life and work balance

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For some time now I have included career coaching naturally within my work both with corporate clients and counselling clients; for the latter it is of course no secret that problems within relationships either at work and/or at home overlap. We all need to feel valued and appreciated in all areas of our life to keep a positive balance and purpose to our life.

It is very easy for any of us to take our loved ones and/or work colleagues for granted I guess in some ways it is a compliment that we feel comfortable enough to do it…however we do so at our own peril at times. As I always maintain, it is far better to be honest and tell others how we really feel about a situation as holding back can often come back to bite us at a later date.

I know I rant about the power of communication but unless we share how we feel how can we expect others to know? Keeping the peace often seems the best option but can lead to feelings of resentment later down the line. Yes, life is a compromise but as wise lady once told me  ‘Don’t allow others to change who you are’ when we do we run the risk of living somebody else’s dream instead of our own.

It is very hard trying to keep everyone in our family,work and friendship happy..so don’t try. Better to be a giver I know but we cannot possibly be expected to be the source of everyone’s happiness it’s just too big a job for one man/woman.

We can all just aspire to doing the very best we can whilst considering the feelings of others along the way. As ever feeling grateful for what we have to enjoy today makes our own feelings of contentment easier to achieve.

 

 

 

Father’s Day

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Father’s day tomorrow and I know like many of my friends and family members who no longer have these special men around to celebrate with that these marketing led days are a big reminder.

There was a phone in yesterday of what would you like to tell your father if he was still alive. A nice idea though the time to be good to people and tell them we love them and/or discuss what really matters is when they are still with us in body, mind and spirit rather than when we are keeping their memory alive in our hearts.

I know so many people have regrets about not mending bridges with parents and if we lose them suddenly that opportunity has been missed. So if you are lucky enough to still have your dad around then have that chat, tell him you love him and not just on birthdays and fathers day!

As I write my blog today I am looking at a photo of my daughter aged three weeks being bathed by her dad having previously waved them off this morning for a pre-father’s day lunch outing.

Earlier today I was having a quick tidy round and had a good long look at my own father’s photo, he died when I was only seven so I feel that always qualifies me to tell others to appreciate theirs!  It is also coming up to his birthday and he would have been 95.

So if distance is a problem miles or relationship wise pick up the phone and call yours today.

 

Spirit of London

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Yet again London has been hit by terrible tragic events the past two days and yet again in the face of adversity we see bravery and kindness beyond imagination. As ever we must be proud and grateful to our emergency services and as many before me have said ‘as people run away from events the fire crews, police force and ambulance staff push forward and do an amazing job.’

Also the generosity of strangers wanting to help in practical ways with food, clothing etc and  the immediate emergency fundraising. This is of course reminiscent  of the blitz and I recall my own mother (a Londoner) saying the comradeship couldn’t be beaten, people cared and supported each other.

Times like this makes us all count our blessings and remember people are important material things are not!

Tuesdays are scary..sharing our feelings

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Yesterday afternoon I shared a wonderful moment with a neighbour’s dog bounding across the drive excitedly full of love and happiness. An old girl, rescued and sadly abused but as with all dogs offers unconditional love and has mindfulness down to a fine art..live in the moment and be happy.

However, Tuesday is trauma day for our tom cat as the refuge men collect the various recycling and rubbish bins…noisily. My boy makes no secret of how this makes him feel he stays in doors and makes it clear he needs comforting from me.

If only human beings could be as honest as animals with their feelings eh? Too often people suffer in silence and don’t share how they feel with those that would rather know and truly want to help.

Sadly there are not always obvious signs when people are depressed and many cover well and have a PR face.

My message today is tell those you love them, show them that you love them and ask if they are OK, give them the opportunity to say ‘actually I’m not’  and be prepared to listen.

Tell Mum…chocolate brownies go with everything!

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Today I shared a moment on media with an old school chum, blog follower too. In the absence of my great Mum being around I shared my little educational success I had received as a mature student.

The older we get we miss those loved ones more not less and I often find myself wanting to share something with my mum…these are all natural feelings of course. The biggest gift is to love with all your heart and to remember that love is a gift in itself.

Aside of talking achievements I shared the discovery of a new ice cream…equally as important I would say.  Coconut ice cream with lime sorbet yum! Whatever flavour icecream..don’t you find that a chocolate brownie goes with it??? Indeed, a chocolate brownie goes with everything and that’s a fact known to serious choccy lovers.

Oh come on fellow bloggers and faithful followers I cannot be serious every day and my random blogs are posted just to see if anybody is actually paying attention. To those still taking exams it is a medical fact that chocolate is good for you…I read it in a book so it must be true surely!

It is now Pimms o’clock so signing off.

 

 

Kindness of strangers

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Been away from my blog the past two days and even as a writer words fail me for the events this week.

However, all any of us can do is try to focus on the positive energy and feel blessed by the kindness of strangers. In the face of adversity communities pull together and as always we must be grateful to the emergency services who are first to attend when tragic events happen.

Our hearts go out to those who have lost loved ones and those that will nurse and help recover those that are injured. In addition to the visual and physical scars we of course must consider the emotional trauma that those who witnessed the situation unfold will suffer.

Many people will suffer albeit misplaced survival guilt and these emotions will not disappear overnight. We must also remember those we know who have been involved in similar tragic circumstances before as their wounds will re-open.

We can only offer help where and when we can and encourage our own loved ones to try where possible to go about their lives positively but with caution. It is of course hard for adults to make sense of it all and even more of a challenge for children who must be dealt with sensitively with age appropriate explanations.

Remember: Our security forces are doing their utmost to keep us safe and instead of criticism we must offer praise for all they do all year round.

 

Start the week with kindness

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Regular followers will know I often write about kindness and how it is a strength and not a weakness.  As children we were taught to be considerate of others and their feelings and how simple acts of kindness can go along way.

Somewhere in the midst of modern media the kindness factor seems to have disappeared and replaced with bullying as though it is ok to be unkind, rude and insensitive. I encourage mothers of teens to get them off of social media and out in the community.  Working with families I see on a regular basis just how damaging the ‘modern techno fun’ really is. Cyber bullying is causing all sorts of health and emotional issues for students and at a time when they are really vulnerable.

‘It’s a generation thing’ I am constantly told..sorry that doesn’t ring true it’s either right or wrong and hiding behind technology is no excuse.

I consider myself so lucky to have had a great mentor and friend in my own mother who quoted positively on a daily basis.  ‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is available to download from Amazon Kindle which includes her story and mine and simple parenting advice.

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Being kind can be cool you know kids!! 

Stroke Awareness

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Following on from yesterday’s blog dear followers and fellow bloggers keep healthy aside of feeling good, having more energy and looking better you will cut down the risk of heart attack and strokes.

Preventative rather than cure always works for me. If your blood pressure is high, get it checked, if you are having headaches or breathlessness see the GP ; doesn’t mean you have anything sinister going on but they can be signs of a slight adjustment in diet or health style may be called for.

I know my consultant said if he had his way he would have everyone on Asprin a day in their 40’s and, as medical opinion continue to report, it can be a real health benefit.

The most important thing is if you suspect somebody is having a stroke ring 999 the quicker they get help the more of the person you can save and that’s a fact. On a more positive note people do recover from strokes, some fully.

I remember one of our guinea pigs had a stroke and the vet we saw wanted to put him to sleep…I said no! Having had a stroke myself I wasn’t written off so why should he be! With a great deal of tlc, massage and love he recovered. Though his head was on a slight slant but we agreed it just made him look cuter..he lived a long time after.

 

 

Worrying won’t change things

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Sound advice regularly given my our amazing mother and mentor. i.e. worrying about things won’t change them and that is for certain.

People spend far too much time worrying about things many of which are often out of their control, whilst we can’t leave all our life to fate we can enjoy the things that matter and spend time focusing on them rather than worrying about things that we cannot possibly change.

Mindfulness and meditation help us to lead a more positive, focused and relaxed life. Enjoying each day and what it brings, not taking the simple things for granted and appreciating those we hold dear.

Recently I was talking to a male friend about his relationship with his mother and asked him if he ever told her all the positive things he tells me about her…No he didn’t..and he got a why not? reply. We are never too old for compliments and mothers like to know they have done a good job.

Few years ago I attended a talk about body language and the speaker reminded us to tell those we love that we love them…and often.

Message today is love not worrying makes the world go round.