Mothers

Tell somebody you love them now

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

My amazing mother and mentor frequently reminded us as children that the time to be good to somebody is when they are here. These words of wisdom spoke often were her own form of mindfulness, reminding us that today was for living and that showing those that we care in thoughts, words or deed should always be high on our personal agenda.

I have just watched a short but touchingly emotive film ‘Our hearts are bigger’. It shows how a couple dealing with Dementia write beautiful love letters to one another and read them to help the challenge of memory loss that this sad illness steals. In many ways loved ones face a type of bereavement as they are forced to accept they are losing the person they knew and loved.

Dementia, causes, prevention and on-going care is being featured within all forms of news media this week and the increased awareness is well over due.

Being isolated and having feelings of isolation are common factors and anything any of us can do to help enrich the lives of carers and dementia sufferers can really make an impact.

And, as my mother used to say in reality we can only live a day at a time so make it count.

‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy…now available from Amazon Kindle.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Annie-Manning/e/B005XXYJL0

 

 

you care

Reflecting

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I often encourage friends and family members,  and, of course my counselling clients to stand back and reflect. All too often we think and act with our emotions rather than with our intellect then regret it later.

It is very easy to take one another for granted or even our work and a holiday away can provide us with that essential time to think about what we have, what we have achieved rather than worry about what we perceive as our failings.

Over the weekend, whilst having a break from painting the garden fence (very therapeutic) I watched ‘Goodbye Mr Chips’  wherein one of the characters advised:-

‘Distance lends enchantment to the view’ 

Indeed putting a bit of distance between ourselves and sometimes our problems or even other people can really make us appreciate the beauty in everything.

That’s a positive thought to start the week on…now to tackle the accounts.

A Mother’s Love

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I still find on a day to day basis whether writing, counselling or just talking with friends over dinner I never fail to mention my amazing mentor, my mother.

As a family we were extremely fortunate to have such a strong character guiding us through life. I finally got around this year to writing some of her teachings down.

‘A Mother’s Love‘ Gospels according to Dorothy is available to download from Amazon kindle under my own name (Annie Manning) rather than one of my pen names! I hope my regular followers will enjoy reading this emotive project and find one or two gems to help them too.

Mother-s love (1)

 

Start the week with kindness

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Regular followers will know I often write about kindness and how it is a strength and not a weakness.  As children we were taught to be considerate of others and their feelings and how simple acts of kindness can go along way.

Somewhere in the midst of modern media the kindness factor seems to have disappeared and replaced with bullying as though it is ok to be unkind, rude and insensitive. I encourage mothers of teens to get them off of social media and out in the community.  Working with families I see on a regular basis just how damaging the ‘modern techno fun’ really is. Cyber bullying is causing all sorts of health and emotional issues for students and at a time when they are really vulnerable.

‘It’s a generation thing’ I am constantly told..sorry that doesn’t ring true it’s either right or wrong and hiding behind technology is no excuse.

I consider myself so lucky to have had a great mentor and friend in my own mother who quoted positively on a daily basis.  ‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is available to download from Amazon Kindle which includes her story and mine and simple parenting advice.

Mother-s love (1)

Being kind can be cool you know kids!! 

Worrying won’t change things

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Sound advice regularly given my our amazing mother and mentor. i.e. worrying about things won’t change them and that is for certain.

People spend far too much time worrying about things many of which are often out of their control, whilst we can’t leave all our life to fate we can enjoy the things that matter and spend time focusing on them rather than worrying about things that we cannot possibly change.

Mindfulness and meditation help us to lead a more positive, focused and relaxed life. Enjoying each day and what it brings, not taking the simple things for granted and appreciating those we hold dear.

Recently I was talking to a male friend about his relationship with his mother and asked him if he ever told her all the positive things he tells me about her…No he didn’t..and he got a why not? reply. We are never too old for compliments and mothers like to know they have done a good job.

Few years ago I attended a talk about body language and the speaker reminded us to tell those we love that we love them…and often.

Message today is love not worrying makes the world go round.

Bereavement awareness…the young Royals

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Well done to the younger Royals for speaking out about bereavement and mental illness. Increasing awareness and the importance for people who are sufffering to talk will definitely help take the stigma away from these subjects which have been taboos for far too long. Like their mother Diana they are using their positions to do great and positive work.

Sharing their own experiences of their own bereavement journey in losing their own mother is both personal, brave and will, I am certain, help many people struggling to come to terms with their own loss.

Both princes show great compassion and are extremely humble when talking to representatives of support charities who are so often run and indeed started up by people who have experienced their own tragic loss or on-going mental illness.

The pain which we cannot see in others, often concealed well, certainly needs as much awareness and funding as any other worthy cause.

 

 

‘A Mother’s Love’

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‘A Mother’s Love’ My Mum said..Gospels according to Dorothy’  by Annie Manning is now available from Amazon to download. A Kindle publication @ £3.99 sharing advice and memories of the amazing relationship between a daughter and mother.

A reflective read acknowledging the role of a great mentor and best friend.

Mother-s love (1)

Helping children through bereavement

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Regular followers will know that I frequently blog about supporting children through bereavement. The best thing one can ever do is to encourage a child to talk, share and remember their loved one…denying their existence is unhelpful. However, when a whole family is mourning it is very difficult to measure at what stage of the bereavement process each member has reached. We are ready to talk and open up when we are ready there are no right or wrong ways and everyone will grieve in their own way.  Remember grief is private but if we share it the journey becomes easier.

I salute Rio Ferdinand for having the courage to produce the documentary showed last night ‘Being Mum and Dad’ . He gave an honest account of just how hard it is to not only lose a partner but support children mourning their mother. The programme featured several of the main charities that offer practical support to children and encourage the bereaved to remember their loved ones by writing notes and keeping them in a memory jar. He also spoke to other widows who shared their own emotive stories.

I never forget the amazing way our own mother coped with being widowed with five children to comfort too. Her story and mine are told in  ‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is now available to download from Amazon kindle.

As I have said several times we keep our loved ones alive in our mind and our heart.

 

My mum and Richard Gere

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Everyone’s talking about the kindness of George Clooney visiting an 87 year old in a nursing home making her day. Well done George I say!

It immediately reminded me of my mum’s wee crush on Richard Gere and how her and a few ladies from her church club would take themselves off to the cinema to see his films. This really made me chuckle they were in their seventies. One day she did say;

‘I have left the bedroom window open, but, alas, he didn’t climb in’.

This was followed by the fact that;

‘Remember -having a man brings dirty socks too’. ..What a woman!

Why am  telling this story?… as we approach Mother’s day for those of us who find this day a struggle I am suggesting you think of a funny story of your own mother to bring a smile to your face..as that is what they would want. For us to remember their love and the good times.

My own tribute to Dorothy (my mum) is available  now on Amazon Kindle.

‘A Mother’s Love’ My Mum said…Gospels according to Dorothy.

 

A great generation

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Earlier today I was swapping stories and memories and discussed the great generation that lived through the second world war. I know my own mother told me many a tale of bravery beyond comprehension, she was made of sterner stuff than I for certain.

Seriously though, I know my amazing mother chose to sleep in her own bed during the blitz of London as opposed to being cramped in the air raid shelter with the rest of her family. This brave lady always believed when you numbers up it’s up and refused to be scared or give in whatever cards were dealt her in life.

I am sharing some of her wisdom in my latest project ‘A Mother’s Love’ -‘ My Mum said…Gospels According to Dorothy’ now available from Amazon Kindle store.

Not a day goes by where I don’t find something good to remember about this fabulous mentor.

Remember to appreciate your parents whilst they are here and tell them on a regular basis that you love them.