reflective

Preparing for life and death

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes in life we have to face challenges we would rather not have to…often these challenges test our strength of character. But how on earth do we or can we prepare?

I was reflecting earlier this week how when my Stepfather died my Mother gave me the task of visiting neighbors and ringing family members to break the news. It suddenly dawned on me what she was doing…preparing me for the eventuality of having to deal with her passing. She knew it would be quite likely that I would be quite active in breaking the news and helping organise her funeral.

This week many young people  I know personally are faced with the very sad task of attending a beautiful young friend’s funeral. Of course nobody can make any sense of losing anybody their own age especially unexpectedly and I am reminded how I felt attending a cousin’s funeral a similar age. It was one of the saddest experiences of my life if I am honest.

So how do we help one another get through this? My best advice as always at any funeral is to try to celebrate the loved one’s life and respectfully so.

My other piece of advice to those concerned is to remember to look out for and keep in contact with the bereaved family after the funeral. So often people spend time offering support leading up the event then make a decision to leave the family in peace. This is of course respectful but try to remember it is after the funeral that maybe they need our support most and continually so for sometime after.

There is no time limit on grief and the more close and intense the relationship the harder it is to accept their passing. Remember death does not end a relationship and that person is kept alive in our hearts and in our minds.

The tallest poppies are always picked first…sadly.

A Mother’s Love

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Rainy Mondays can be just as great for good news as Fridays!  Just had a positive response to one of my projects and am feeling elated. Was talking to an amazing friend who could share the moment with me.

My wonderful mother and mentor used to say;

‘Everything comes to those that wait’

…and we would quip as kids:

‘Some have to wait a bit longer…’

I am often quoted as reminding people to be patient as things happen when they are meant to and for good reason. Maybe when we really want something we are not yet ready to cope with it and that is why we have to wait.

To that spiritual force out there I will say thank you for listening to me. If this comes to final fruition I know it will help others by reading it and that is my gift to help the healing process through the written word.

Today’s message is work hard and keep that dream in your vision and close to your heart and when asked what motivates me the answer is always the same:-

‘A Mother’s Love’.  My story and her’s.

 

 

 

 

 

Falling into place

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Isn’t it funny how life takes us on mini journeys where we find ourselves experiencing and trying new things which at the time may not be obvious.

Then further down the line whilst on another journey we realise that what we have learned previously is exactly what we need to carry us further.

Life is full of fate placing us with people and situations and for all good reason as eventually it all starts to fall into place.

Had a very positive chat with my amazing big brother who didn’t really understand why I had been studying so hard these past years, almost been a recluse…but the projects I can now go after and the right ones are coming my way make it all worthwhile.

Dala lama ‘The time has come for us to consider seriously how to change our way of life and not through prayer or religious teaching but through education.’

I say it often; we are never too old to take up new studies.

My number one follower will like today’s quote for sure!

Vulnerable and fragile

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Last night I watched Monday’s Panorama ‘I’m broken inside’ Sara’s story. Anybody that watched this emotive documentary will no doubt be as angry as me that this young girl was failed by the very systems that are put in place to help. I was horrified when her sister reported that Sarah was even subjected to ‘the powers that be’ arguing over funding for her help…disgraceful.

My heart goes out to the family and huge respect for making this documentary about their beautiful daughter. For families still going through the process hearing that professional help is not as successful as we probably imagine must be equally as alarming.

I have known people who have worked for CAMS and know that the counsellors’ case loads are overloaded and funding for support for families is short and slow in coming…sometimes too late.

I remember being at a meeting last year with several supporting agencies and community heads; we agreed when somebody seeks help they are often already in serious trouble then they are reliant on GP funding to refer and there is a long waiting list.

Sarah Brennan from Young Minds spoke about the serious problem teens now faced with cyber bullying (a subject I often write about). This modern media has resulted in bullying 24/7 and I know schools are faced with supporting more cases than they can cope with.

Early this morning whilst I was reflecting on the programme and the notes I had made I was distracted by a small thud outside which sounded like something had hit the upstairs window. As quickly as I heard the noise I saw a bird fall to the ground.

I opened the patio door to see such a pretty little bird gasping its last few breaths. I assume it flew into the window or fell from a nest. As I picked it up I felt saddened but there was nothing I could have done. Sometimes in life these things are symbols which make us stop and think. I reflected on Sara also fragile and in need of help but it wasn’t forthcoming and another Mother has to live with the loss of a beloved child.

The government must put more resources into support for mental health issues and making available resources closer to the patient’s family to aid their recovery.

Any petitions that we see being organised by support agencies and charities we must sign to get the numbers they require to take their complaints and requests to government.

 

 

 

Reflective creativity

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Whilst preparing for a new project my research reminded me of the great time I had running a writers group. It never failed to amaze me how one subject could be interpreted in so many different ways by my fantastic writers/friends when I pulled them into being reflective if only for  a few hours.

It was an interesting time and I used to encourage members to set either the home work or class assignment for the group. One week it was my turn and most unlike me I hadn’t prepared handouts or decided on a topic. So five minutes before the group arrived I went into my daughter’s room (then aged 8)and just scooped up an array of toys.

The toys were placed in the middle of the room and the group were invited to select a toy then write a piece imagining they were that toy. The results were amazing if not somewhat crazy. An elderly female member chose the barbie doll and wrote a hysterical piece on how well she could now move as bendy barbie and her bosoms were once again pert! Another male member chose a teddy bear with inspirational talents – maybe how he viewed himself?

This works well with photographs too; just a case of letting one’s imagination run free if not a bit wild! Sometimes we just need prompting and  Shelford Chandler of Giant Steps Create  (who runs collaborative workshops) reminded me that;

‘We all have the innate ability to be creative.’

…we just hesitate in unleashing it.  

In life we all need to escape from time to time and  venturing into a world of play can be invigorating. I guess something which men often manage better than us grumpy women is to keep the child within them alive.

I’m off to play and create.