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Being supportive

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I have just returned from a great brunch with my life coach pal where we share experiences ‘generically’ of projects we are working on and specific areas of counselling we are involved in and researching.

We are both mindful that whether we are working with a stroke survivor, a bereavement client or a teenager suffering with stress that there is always a family unit that are also trying as best they can to support the individual having counselling or coaching.

The more assistance and support a family can receive the better the chances of recovery and this may include extended family and teachers. Awareness is always essential to ensure that allowances are made in a constructive way and as we know information is power.

An additional factor a counsellor has to always bear in mind is not to break any confidentialities to any parties and at times this can be met with objections but trust takes time to earn and is vital to the process and to allow us to remain professional at all times and codes of ethics.

There is no reason to struggle with emotional problems there is help available and the first brave step is recognising you need help and then asking for it.

International Holocaust Memorial Day

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I am mindful today that all over the world people will be acknowledging and remembering the terrible crimes against individuals during the second world war.

My own mother knew girls within the rag trade in London who worked alongside girls who bore the numbers as well as the horrendous mental scars from the prison camps.

We must never allow these atrocities to be forgotten and for those that lost friends and relatives, for some whole families we send our prayers, forgiveness for such cruelty is a big ask.

Prejudice and ignorance at its possible worst.As I discussed earlier this week with a minister friend we are all a mixture of ancestors from various religous beliefs and nationalities so what’s the issue?

Writing is therapeutic

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Writing as we know can be extremely therapeutic even if nobody reads what you have written. In writing down your thoughts and emotions you are starting to let them go and you will feel lighter.

Over the years I have run writers groups and been amazed at the honesty as well as the talent apparent ‘non-writers’ have and how well they express their emotions when given the chance.

Poetry is often a fun way for some as they can keep their thoughts limited to a word count or pattern of their own choice. However, the emotion and personal message will come through strongly, even irony and comedy when applied can help us make sense of what previously may have been too painful to discuss.

Keeping a journal and/or writing a blog is a great way to have a rant and start collating material to reflect on at a later date. Additionally writing down happy thoughts and reasons to be grateful can help us keep a positive balance and be mindful on a regular basis.

Being kind and grateful

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It has always been and will always be the case that to have that good friend you have to be that good friend. Being supportive and kind to others lays down the best foundation to move forward. We all have our bad days and some people have bad months or even bad years where a cluster of events beyond their control can consume them. When going through the times of challenge we turn to good friends who remind just where our strength and, where appropriate, our faith lies to draw on and help get us through.

This week I seem to be having some excellent heart to heart conversations with various family members and colleagues. Sometimes during times of bereavement in the midst of our despair we also begin to acknowledge what matters most, how not to allow little things to upset us but more importantly to be grateful for the good things in our life that daily we too easily take for granted.

There is no doubt in my mind experiencing the loss of a parent at a very early age made my own family closer and a realisation hit home (literally) that one never knows what is around the next corner. We were all raised to be mindful by an amazing mentor (our Mother) and to live a day at a time and live it well… love and laugh often as the fridge magnets say!

Remember kindness is indeed a strength and not a weakness -my own personal mantra.

My publication ‘A Mother’s love‘ will be available very soon

Choices for women

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Like many I have been appalled at some of the verbal abuse certain people in power have directed at women and/or the vulnerable. No names mentioned, but latest discussion on affecting the freedom of choice for women to have a termination of pregnancy for fear of ‘punishment’ is beyond belief.

Without getting into the reasoning behind specific religious beliefs and respecting those that maintain those beliefs there are many reasons why a woman should have the choice and be supported in that choice without shame. This ‘choice’ may be enforced following unwanted attention in the form of a sexual attack culminating in an unwanted pregnancy and/or for medical reasons or just personal circumstances.

In the same day we see women having to petition for the right not to be forced to wear high heels to work -again sheer madness. I am old enough to remember when girls were not allowed to wear trousers to work in the bank until the staff union stepped in.

In a fast growing world or progress it does seem unbelievable that we have to go backwards in terms of people being able to live their life the best they see fit the way they see fit.

 

Meanwhile we all run the risk of being killed by idiots using their mobile phones whilst driving or being in charge of a drone which can cause an airplane to crash, the latter reports are on the increase… now that is worrying. Let’s focus our attentions on the real law breakers putting us all at risk.

Looking back

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During my remiscent works with my lovely elderly clients I enjoy looking back at old  black and white photos of yester-years and finding inspiration quotes by various celebrities and politicians of the time which we then discuss.

Today I came across a great quote made in 1924 by the then Director General of the BBC

‘He who prides himself on giving what he thinks the public wants is often creating a fictious demand for low standards which he will then satisfy’ John Reith

I think a lot of people in various business sectors applied and still apply this mantra…sadly so

Set the bar higher I say.

The Little Book of Kisses

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‘The Little Book of Kisses’  by Dolly Christmas is now available to download from Amazon @ £3.50

An amusing publication about kissing, An ideal gift for your own Valentine. Kissing is a serious fun past time but is it becoming a dying art? The author examines the truth about kissing, instinct and protocol. Behavioural or preference? Keeping healthy…yes burning calories is just one advantage …the prefect lovers diet and how kissing is good for your dental hygiene. Her mission is to encourage more kissing to produce natural heat and save the planet. She reveals some of the good and the bad personal experiences and the joys of kissing a few frogs.

Stroke Awareness

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For many years I have tried whenever possible to help with stroke awareness through my writing and supporting stroke survivors. I often compare the feelings of having had a stroke to a mini-bereavement as the survivor and their family come to terms with maybe the loss of limbs and/or their speech and recovery can be a slow progress.

Stroke patients often suffer, understandably so, from depression too as any illness which is life-changing needs patience and supportive care. Having a positive attitude obviously helps but having to cope with challenges even temporary ones is no easy task.

I cannot recommend The Stroke Association enough their website gives easy access to great and practical literature. Other support charities and local support groups are brilliant so whether you are survivor yourself or helping a family member or friend in recovery then please ensure you seek the help that is available.

‘The Mail on Sunday‘ featured a great article written by Andrew Marr who suffered a serious stroke a few years back.  He is truly inspirational and his piece is very honest and reveals amazing treatment he received in the US which has increased his own spirits and his walking progress.

Groans about Drones

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I only ever hear or read negative things about the blessed drones. Carrying drugs, phones etc into jails and dangerously causing havoc near airports. What we need is real laws and policing governing the use of these ‘dangerous toys’ before they cause far worse accidents.

However today in ‘The Mail On Sunday’ we read about the trauma and imposition they bring to our rural farmers and equally important the distress they cause to innocent animals.

We are fortunate in our country that the laws that govern the keeping of and slautering of animals is policed and highly maintained putting other countries to shame. Meanwhile something at least needs to be done to protect farmstock who otherwise are being loved and cared for by the farmers they belong to.

 

Being content

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Every where we look we are being given advice on diet, exercise and how to avoid stress. The secret to healthy mind and body is partly to be content and grateful. respect yourself and your own wellbeing and then you are of course better placed to help others.

A great deal of the success and longevity of the older generations has been, I was told today,was that they didn’t have great expectations and were more content with what they had. Definitely some truth in that, material things are not important we just get tricked into thinking we must have the lastest gadget, phone or accessory.

I remember somebody saying ‘the younger generation know the price of everything and the value of nothing’  -this all sounds very cynical and negative but to a certain degree this is also true and we must all take some responsibility for that too.

Being mindful and grateful on a day to day basis calms the mind and in turn helps us to achieve more and in a more orderly and productive manner. We place ourselves under personal stress by taking on too much we just don’t always realise it.