elderly

Keeping active, positive and finding time to laugh

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday I went to hear a local speaker the lovely and talented Zena Skinner talk at a U3A meeting.

This amazing woman, a young ninety year old has led a rewarding and busy life as a celebrity TV cook, radio and public speaker as well as an impressive fundraiser for various charities. Those who know and love her locally know the great works she does in supporting a local hospice for children (Keech Hospice)

The audience were treated to a collection of amusing stories of her life in the Wrens and the colourful life as a cook and demonstrator. She shows no signs of slowing down and truly is an inspiration and really enjoys making people laugh.

Zena’s closing comment was:

 ‘If we don’t laugh..it’s not worth living, the more we laugh the more we live.’

My own mentor always maintained a laugh was as good as a tonic. I love that sentiment and shared this with a friend earlier this afternoon,  I know he follows my blog and I am sending him a huge spiritual hug.

Our Dads

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Today I will dedicate my first blog to my own father and many other fathers of friends who spent their twenties in the second world war. These great men came home to those that loved them and stayed silent about what they had seen and didn’t boast about their many achievements.

I know my mother told me that our dad didn’t think it appropriate to discuss such matters in front of the women and children.  For many of us from my own generation we regret that maybe we didn’t either take the time or have the opportunity to sit down and ask the right questions to find out more about these brave men.

Today is of course when, as a nation,we do take time to remember them.. all those that were sadly lost and those who survived. Also show appreciation to our armed forces currently serving.

If you are fortunate to have your Dad or Grandfather alive take the time now to talk to them and give them the respect and recognition they so rightly deserve.

 

 

Memory triggers…the very thought of you

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I frequently talk and write about emotional triggers that spur us on to remember people we have loved and lost. It may be a certain smell or even a special song that holds that magic which tugs at one’s heart strings.

These transient reminiscent bumps can be both beautiful and emotive and at times appear upsetting but my regular followers know how I feel about the value of having a cry to release bottled up emotions.

Shortly after my mother died I bought a Harry Connick Junior Album on which he sang ‘The very thought of you‘ an old Frank Sinatra number  and a favourite of mine and mum’s- sheer magic. To many this is a love song but it reminded me of my amazing mother few lines…‘I see your face in every flower, your eyes in stars above’.. After a close bereavement our loved one’s presence  is often felt as we try to make sense of our loss and treasure our memories.

Last night the very talented Michael Buble was singing the exactly same song and dedicated it to his Gran who had recently died. It was a beautifully produced number. So I am not alone in recognising those special words and there is more than one kind of love…both of which obviously resonated with this great songster too. 

I was asked this morning had I seen him live…only in my dreams! Swoon.

 

Black cat day

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Today is the Cats Protection League’s black cat day in an attempt to encourage would-be pet owners to consider re-homing a black cat.Not sure what the reasons are but it would seem many a lovely black cat struggles to be adopted.

We have two fab black cats one was a rescue cat and has been a joy to have.Slightly amused they have chosen to have this awareness day near Halloween but in our house they are considered good luck.

The various charities who support the elderly in our communities are aware just how many people living on their own are lonely and bringing a pet into their lives can bring a new lease of life. Of course a cat is  a great lap companion for those who cannot get out and about. Cat has the added bonus of no need for walking it in the rain!  (Sorry dog lovers)

Additionally it is well documented that having and stroking a pet cat or dog lowers one’s blood pressure ..so a healthy addition to the family too.

Pet bereavement

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I was pleased to see the subject of pet bereavement being discussed on daytime TV yesterday. Often people forget how attached pet owners are to their beloved pooch or moggy.

Speaking as a parent often through keeping a pet a child learns about responsibility and their first encounter with grief may indeed be through the loss of a pet hamster.

I think the mistake parents often make is in trying to protect their children’s emotions they invent strange stories as to where the deceased animal has gone to, and even replace a goldfish with another pretending it is the same one.

We cannot run from death and the earlier a child understands about loss but in a controlled way the better. There is no right age to accept or a right way of breaking bad news we just have to do the best we can.

However, there are of course great books available pitched age appropriate which can help with the loss of grandparent say. If you feel you need outside help do not feel embarrassed to ask as often you may be going through the same emotions yourself and a bereavement counsellor can help make the journey easier for both you and your child.

A Woman’s place…

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Working these past months with some of my amazing and lovely female elderly clients  we often discuss how things have changed over the years. How the role of women has changed.

We often share stories and sayings that our mothers and grandmothers used to say. One I heard my mother often say when a machine was getting the better of her was; ‘Don’t be beaten by man or machine‘ and I try to remind myself of those wise words when trying to get to grips with my latest mobile phone.

Today I heard the male equivalent ‘Don’t be kicked by a woman nor horse!’ .

All joking aside there is of course some sadness when we study the females portrayed in such great films as ‘Pride and Prejudice’ when the order of the day for young ladies was to not leave the house without one’s bonnet or gloves and a trip to town was to choose new ribbons. Reflecting upon those times are we leaving the house half-naked girls??

Revisiting those romantic novels we read as teenagers is often therapeutic and relaxing for the mature ladies as it is good to remember how things used to be .

Dementia Friends

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

When visiting my doctor’s surgery I always take a look at their information table, being a magpie I like to have leaflets available to help friends and colleagues.

Today I picked up a card promoting Dementia Friends and their trained volunteer champions who help in the community. If you know somebody who would benefit from their help please visit their website:-

http://www.dementiafriends.org.uk 

We have a growing population of people who suffer from Mild Cognitive Impairment or Dementia and being aware of what help is available is crucial for families in particular those partners who become main carers.

Finding time to relax

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

Life is one continual rush for most people  I meet and finding time for one’s self is so often put to the end of the list. It is not a crime to want mind space for yourself or to take time out to do something you enjoy.

I have been recovering from rather painful tooth abscess and extraction and was pleased to receive a great gift in the post. An adult colouring book!! I know I have teased many female friends and family members for indulging in this trend the past year or so…but I am now hooked.

For my screen break yesterday I coloured in a few very fine cats using my lovely coloured pencils bought for me by my daughter and it was a very calming and enjoyable session.My book also had little cat poems and thought provoking quotes.

I am currently working with and researching ways to help various clients in stroke recovery and/or dementia sufferers and I will be using this creative relaxer alongside my other sensory and reminiscence writing work.

So whether it be colouring in, listening to music of reading that book…just do it. Don’t feel guilty and be like me go the whole hog and eat a crunchie bar too.

Happy weekend fellow bloggers and followers.

Visiting nursing homes

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I know a lot of families are faced with having to make the difficult decision of selecting the next sensible move for their elderly relatives. This may result in having to find the right nursing home which can seem very daunting.

I won’t turn today’s blog into an advice article but recently I was asked to visit a number of nursing homes with a friend who is faced with the dilemma of choosing somewhere suitable for a relative. The ultimate decision, where possible should of course involve the wishes and hopefully a visit beforehand by the proposed resident.

I have to say the three I visited were all very different but I was pleasantly surprised how welcome we were made and how staff made every effort to answer all my questions. It’s a really good idea to have somebody with you that is not so emotionally involved and able to be focused and objective.

I know some people are put off by the larger more modern homes but I was very impressed with the few I have visited the past year for one reason or another. The buildings are purpose built with superb en suite facilities and one even had a treatment room for the ladies to have their hair done and proper facilities for visiting chiropodist. These may seem unimportant facilities but they matter for those who will be unable to get out and about. New residents are properly assessed to ensure they receive the necessary support which may be dementia or stroke rehab related.

I have also been impressed by the many activities which are available to residents even in the smaller homes including sensory and reminiscence work. The sad picture some people may have in their minds of unhappy elderly folk sitting in a circle being ignored is far from the truth. Through my research I met some really dedicated and well-trained staff who genuinely care about the well-being of their residents and make every effort to bond with families too.

My tip is to visit as many as possible in your chosen area and don’t leave it until the last minute. As difficult as it is to talk about this with you relatives…please please do so and ensure you fully involve them. It is a well-known fact that parents do not want to feel a burden to their children and they will certainly try to hide just how vulnerable they feel.

My closing comment came from a manager at a very homely place who said she does everything she can to reassure her residents they are not a burden!

‘I remind them without them I wouldn’t have such a lovely job.’

 

 

Stroke Awareness

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

My regular followers will know I like to support the amazing Stroke Association with awareness. For anybody in recovery of a stroke or supporting a loved one during this difficult time please ensure you visit their website  www.stroke.org.uk where you will find help,advice and resources which will enhance recovery and locate a support group in your area.

Another charity which I have mentioned within articles over the years is Interact Reading check out their website: http://www.interactstrokesupport.org. a charity offering support including actors visiting hospital units reading to stroke patients.

I often compare having a stroke to a mini bereavement… remember the survivor may be mourning the loss of use of their limbs, their speech and their previously active life.

In recovering themselves they are also trying to be strong for those around them as well as coping and coming to terms with the shock and full impact of what has happened. They will be feeling vulnerable and scared so be patient and please, please  get support.