family

Bullying in schools

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

At last we see the subject of bullying tackled in our various soap programmes, dramas and day time chat shows. What worries me is how much of this still goes on in schools without the victims of bullying and their parents seemingly powerless to stop it.

Aside of the 24/7 bullying via the various types of media available to our children to misuse and become the target of bullying on site bullying still goes on too. What a lot of people do not realise is that even bullying taking place outside of school hours and away from the school premises can have repercussions for the bullies. Students can be excluded from school and from taking exams a point some may need to be reminded of and that they must take responsibilities for actions

If a student’s wellbeing is being affected and his/her school work and attendance suffers then the school have the power to take the bullies to task. Moreover schools must be seen to be taking bullying seriously and following the guidelines and procedures and if you feel your school is failing your child, first point of call after the Head teacher would be the Governors.

Sadly so many children who are being bullied remain silent but there are signs as parents and teachers to look out, the NSPCC and Childline websites list the signs including becoming isolated, change in sleep or eating patterns. Often children who selfharm or who have eating disorders are doing so because of bullying. It is not just children with SEN’s that are bullied though they are often targeted.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

 

The bereavement journey

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I am mindful that those in early stages of the bereavement process often feel isolated in their grief. This is often compounded by those around them, maybe family members also suffering in silence and close friends not knowing what to say.

There are no right words and this continues to be apparrent even many years after the loss of a loved one has passed. As I was saying earlier this week to a friend coping with another sad anniversary, nobody knows you are drowning in your grief unless you tell them..they just think you are waving. Often we can feel almost disappointed with those close for ‘not knowing/realising’ but two pieces of advice I offer is not to be to hard on one’s self and not have too high an expectation of others to do or say the right thing!

Bereavement is painful and there are no quick routes, but as I say the times we seem consumed by grief are times when we are letting it come to the surface rather than pretend we are ‘fine’. Emotions need to be released not surpressed and talking about our feelings, which may include anger or even misplaced blame in some cases really does help.

Don’t struggle alone seek help and for those thinking ‘I don’t go to church regularly so I can’t talk to my local minister’…think again you may be surprised how helpful and supportive they can be. There are many excellent support charities around too so take advantage of any groups locally.

Don’t forget writing can be extermely therapeutic even if nobody ever reads it but you. I know when I ran my writers group my members really benefited from using this way to share and reveal their feelings.

 

Good news for a change

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I have been off line for a few days knee deep in admin, accounts but also enjoying working with my clients and hopefully making a difference to those in need of support.

Let’s face it there has been nothing but sad news of late but isn’t it great when we learn that within the medical profession they are making great in-roads into research and advance technology for stroke survivors.

It is no secret that time is of the essence in terms of getting the right help and quickly to anyone having a stroke and The Stroke Association regularly roll out the FAST adverts:

Face, Arms, Speech…time to call an ambulance.

This week we hear more about the ground-breaking operation a mechanical thrombectomy which can make a real difference but it has to be performed within six hours.

As with most charities awareness is as vital as the actual fundraising and I cannot recommend The Stroke Association enough -great support and amazing information to help both the stroke survivor and their carers. So if you are thinking of a new charity to support this is one to consider.

To anyone supporting a loved one who has recently had a stroke remember for many it is like a mini-bereavement, as they try to come to terms with the loss, maybe temporary or longer term of the loss of use of their limbs or speech. Keeping their spirits positive is vital and being informed will help both them and you –The Stroke Association can do this.

 

‘A Mother’s Love’

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‘A Mother’s Love’ My Mum said..Gospels according to Dorothy’  by Annie Manning is now available from Amazon to download. A Kindle publication @ £3.99 sharing advice and memories of the amazing relationship between a daughter and mother.

A reflective read acknowledging the role of a great mentor and best friend.

Mother-s love (1)

Suffering in silence

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For far too long and for many reasons children have to a certain extent been encouraged to suffer in silence where bereavement is concerned. I frequently write about the damage ignoring the existence of a loved one who has died can do. Often with best intentions death becomes a taboo subject within a family unit.

As age appropriate for the child concerned encouraging talking about happy memories sensitively helps accept that death is part of life. It also helps keep our loved ones alive in our hearts. Remember that two children in a family will have a completely different journey through their grief too.

Equally, the death of a pet may be the first experience for a child and gives parents an opportunity to talk about death and how to celebrate the relationships we have when people are with us and celebrate their life rather than focus on the illness or the way in which they died.

All grown up..tubbies

~ credo2014 ~ 1 Comment

It is Friday so a less serious blog. I understand that today the Telly Tubbies are twenty! Wow where did that time go to? The baby featured in the sun image is now at university as are most of the avid fans of those early showings.

It was part of the early morning routine getting my daughter ready with the Telly Tubbies song playing in the background. Her dad used to make her tubby toast and for ages the vacuum cleaner was known as the noo noo!

In years to come there will be a similar generation raised on Peppa Pig I guess! The merchandising always brings in a small fortune to said programmes as relatives rush to by the latest product. We all fall for it…my great niece is coming for a visit tomorrow bound to be something piggy in the playbag!

So to all you Dipsy, tinkywinky, lala and po fans doing so well at university being a tubby fan didn’t do you any harm after all!

 

Stop the bullies

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So pleased to see the increased awareness and publicity encouraging kindness and for children to speak up about being bullied. Too many children suffer in silence.

Sadly most bullies suffer from low self-esteem, may have been bullied themselves and statistically often go on to suffer from depression in later life when they finally reflect on their actions. Banter rarely is banter it’s bullying – questionable teasing is only funny when people are laughing not crying or far worse.

Please read my articles on Innovate My School’s Website including:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying

 

Helping children through bereavement

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Regular followers will know that I frequently blog about supporting children through bereavement. The best thing one can ever do is to encourage a child to talk, share and remember their loved one…denying their existence is unhelpful. However, when a whole family is mourning it is very difficult to measure at what stage of the bereavement process each member has reached. We are ready to talk and open up when we are ready there are no right or wrong ways and everyone will grieve in their own way.  Remember grief is private but if we share it the journey becomes easier.

I salute Rio Ferdinand for having the courage to produce the documentary showed last night ‘Being Mum and Dad’ . He gave an honest account of just how hard it is to not only lose a partner but support children mourning their mother. The programme featured several of the main charities that offer practical support to children and encourage the bereaved to remember their loved ones by writing notes and keeping them in a memory jar. He also spoke to other widows who shared their own emotive stories.

I never forget the amazing way our own mother coped with being widowed with five children to comfort too. Her story and mine are told in  ‘A Mother’s Love’ Gospels according to Dorothy is now available to download from Amazon kindle.

As I have said several times we keep our loved ones alive in our mind and our heart.

 

Updating friends…in a flash

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Ok today I stand accused of meaning to ring a client/friend for far too long. The years, then months go past far too quickly. We touch base on various forms of media and comment and congratulate each other on our latest achievements but…

In the middle of a hectic day two amazing women found time to quickly discuss a project and catch up on the achievements of our family. In just a short space of time we talked projects, publishing, education, counselling and we agreed on sensitive topics and how best to handle them, we laughed, we shared tips and exchanged knowledge on all manner of things! Women are so beautifully talented at fitting in so much, giving generously of ourselves to others, caring, giving advice in an instant then flying off to the next challenge.

Mary..recognise yourself?? Lovely catching up, I was mindful you were busy and I am racing against the clock. Quick meeting of minds with a fellow writer and positive spiritual person gives one that fab warm feeling!

My blog message today is to pick up that phone and speak to a human being it’s so much fun and rewarding.  Don’t wait for an excuse just do it!

Surviving the blitz…kindness of strangers

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Morning fellow bloggers, writers, friends, family and positive folk.  I was absent from my blog yesterday as I had a trip to London. I know a few close friends and family raised an eyebrow or two (well those that didn’t pluck them when they were younger!!) that I was ‘still going’.

Of course I was ‘still going’, my mother survived the London bombings of World War II and if there was one thing she taught our family was not to live our lives in fear. She also talked often of the kindness of strangers during that time and the positive spirit of Londoners.

As events which have left many of us greatly saddened and shocked this week proved, yet again, how strangers will run to the aid of others. Today however, like so many, I would like to congratulate all our emergency services for the amazing job they do every day and especially days like Wednesday.

Turning up for work in London…

I for one really appreciated seeing a good Police presence yesterday at mainline stations and sincere thanks to the amazing medical professional I saw at London UCLH hospital.

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However, I am mindful that this week’s events will bring to the surface traumatic memories for those who have been caught up in and/or witnessed previous similar tragedies both home and abroad. As always support those that need it and allow them to talk and release any personal emotions and new anxieties.

Remember:  these are isolated, albeit unforgiveable attacks, and, the Police are thwarting these and protecting us all the time. Be positive, go about your normal business and live a day at a time.

Tell those you love them that you do…to the moon and back. Does it need saying? Yes it certainly does!!