happiness

Think of the mothers

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Mothers hold the family together throughout the year, multi-task all day long every day and leading up to Christmas alongside their usual duties they have to organise Christmas as well.

I felt for a Mother in the supermarket today as she struggled to get control using her best negotiating skills with two boys under ten. Having no luck whatsoever, I was impressed to see her make them both take their sweets back ‘as they didn’t deserve them’. Well done.

The job of a peacemaker isn’t an easy one at the best of times and don’t children know how to press one’s buttons just when you would rather they didn’t.

So, think of the mothers and all that they do, be nice, be thoughtful and for God sake just behave…for once!

Christmas isn’t just about what you get it is what you give and time, understanding and patience are sometimes the best options and don’t cost a penny!

Remember your mum is likely to be the best friend you ever have.

Winding down the year

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In the midst of wondering whether there is anybody important we have forgotten to buy for, or any elderly relative or friend we have forgotten to find time to visit many of us will be winding down the year in the lead up to Christmas.

Often as one year closes and another starts many of us start a little bit of emotional spring cleaning…and a jolly good job too. I  am mindful that 2016 has been a challenge for many and it may difficult to summon up enthusiasm for next year.

However, concentrating on what we have achieved as opposed to the disasters we may have had to overcome is the best way to put a little spring into one’s step and look at the ‘still to do list’ with a fresh and positive pair of eyes. A few mulled wines may help this.

Seriously, and personally, a lot of my projects have not gone quite according to plan and/or the optimistic time schedule..but hey ho not all is lost there’s always next year. I am a great believer that delays happen for some good reason which will become crystal clear one day.

My tip for today is to not allow the pressure of Christmas nor the over indulging to allow ourselves to feel lethargic and worn out emotionally. Instead enjoy the Christmas festivities, rec-charge the batteries and skip into the new year.

Remember realistically  we can only ever live a day at a time so make it count.

Wow I’m positive for a Monday..maybe it’s because my visits to the elderly today have reminded me how stoic and amazing many of that generation are..they put the younger generations to shame in how they bounce back against all odds.

Thank God for engineers

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Last night I watched the amazing ‘The Big Life Fix’ on BBC 2. Having worked with stroke patients I was so moved and impressed with the technology advancements and dedication of the engineers featured on this brilliant show as a team of engineers helped research and design tools to help a man with locked in syndrome improving his ability to communicate with his loved ones.

They also designed a fantastic bike for a young boy with disabilities enhancing his life beyond his dreams. They even managed to outwit sheep rustlers with great ideas for tagging sheep and narrowing down the opportunities for the farmers to lose their sheep to these crooks.

Can’t wait for next week’s show.

The magic of Christmas

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I had an interesting chat with a client today about how magical it is when our children believe in that man with the red and white outfit, chubby red face and white beard.

I know a family member had been concerned that there was no chimney for him to get down so how would his presents be delivered? Now that’s a darn good question from a child who has seriously thought things through. All joking apart it is a sad day, when it comes, when they realise the tooth fairy is really mum and that Father Christmas is dad dressed up.

I remember one year hiding presents in a neighbour’s house and ‘Dad’ going to collect them ready for Christmas morning, it had been snowing so subsequently there was a trail of foot prints to the door. My daughter was very excited when she saw these and that Father Christmas had indeed been…and left gifts.

Trying to keep the child within us alive becomes more difficult as we grow up but remembering those halycon days brings back that warm feeling.

I recall my last Christmas before my father died and how my mum had let me have a sneaky peek at my dolls house. I can smell that turkey cooking and if I close my eyes I can see mum having her glass of sherry as she busily prepared for the madness that was Christmas with five children.

The drinks of that era were of course babycham, snowballs and for dad it was whisky and ginger. The chocolate decorations on the tree were really brilliant in those days too, umbrellas, watches and little slithers of chocolate tied up as parcels. Anybody remember the liquorice novelties?

Teenage stress

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I watched an interesting yet emotive  documentary on TV last week reporting on two teenage girls who tragically self-harmed. There is always a root problem for why girls are self-harming, which may not be obvious even to the most diligent of parents.

As usual I took copious notes but was moved and focused by  ‘a experts’ view on what is causing stress amongst teenagers. He said quite succintly:-

‘Teenagers are a mirror of society and society is in distress’

We can of course view this as negative but ignoring the facts won’t help teens of today. The pace of life is faster and great pressure is put on them to succeed. For all their advantages and amazing technology at the touch of finger they are not happy. Indeed technolog,y as I often write, brings new ways of being bullied and is responsible for lower self-esteem particularly in girls.

Keep the lines of communication open with this troubled generation they need our support and understanding more than most of us realise.

 

 

Mindfulness living in the moment

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I suspect December is a typical month where many of us will feel we do not have time to live in the moment, but it is really a question of making time. We all take the little things for granted being lost in the huge marketing campaign that is thrusted upon us from late summer it seems nowadays.

Christmas should be about appreciating those we love and spending time with them rather than our money. Don’t get me wrong I have spent many years working within the marketing environments but we seem to have lost our way somewhat.

Love is one sure way of remembering being in the moment as at the time of feeling love as humans we are surely at our very best.

So the gift for Christmas should be love and for those of us with big hearts our ‘bank account ‘never runs out.

For some it takes the loss of a loved one to realise what life is all about and readjust where we can the balance of work and play.

 

Remembering loved ones

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The past few months have been extremely emotive for many relatives and friends in my circle. There’s always such a pressure at Christmas to be happy, when perhaps one is not. Samaritans are bringing awareness to this fact today confirming that such a large percentage of us are sad at Christmas but do things to make others happy.

We all cope with our emotions in our own way and life is constantly busy which sometimes prevents people from releasing maybe their grief openly. As I remind people going through bereavement there are no rules, or schedule or one size fits all.

However, we should all be able to grieve the way we want to, privately if that’s what we prefer and remembering those we have loved and lost in a way we feel is appropriate to respect that person and in our own way.

We can go many months moving forward and suddenly something will trigger a memory and we will feel the loss again, this may be a song, or a smell or a nonsensical memory. If this trigger makes us cry it’s no bad thing either these controlled emotions need to be released. Hanging on to emotions only leads to stress related illness or sleepless nights.

My message today is talk to people about how you feel and remember nobody has the right to dictate to others how they choose to grieve. Finally, remember that those we love and have lost would want us to go on living and loving as that’s the best tribute to their memory. We keep them alive in our hearts and that’s all anyone can expect.

The Little Book of Kisses

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After a week of emotive blogs I thought I would end the week on a happier and somewhat more light-hearted note.

I am finalising the publishing of my ‘The Little Book of Kisses‘ Kindle project in time for Christmas and ready for Valentine’s 2017.

My very talented nephew Graphics Designer Paul Manning is currently working on the kindle cover…so watch this space.

I will announce as soon as  itbecomes available on Amazon.

Have a good weekend fellow bloggers and followers and…get kissing.

Keeping active, positive and finding time to laugh

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Yesterday I went to hear a local speaker the lovely and talented Zena Skinner talk at a U3A meeting.

This amazing woman, a young ninety year old has led a rewarding and busy life as a celebrity TV cook, radio and public speaker as well as an impressive fundraiser for various charities. Those who know and love her locally know the great works she does in supporting a local hospice for children (Keech Hospice)

The audience were treated to a collection of amusing stories of her life in the Wrens and the colourful life as a cook and demonstrator. She shows no signs of slowing down and truly is an inspiration and really enjoys making people laugh.

Zena’s closing comment was:

 ‘If we don’t laugh..it’s not worth living, the more we laugh the more we live.’

My own mentor always maintained a laugh was as good as a tonic. I love that sentiment and shared this with a friend earlier this afternoon,  I know he follows my blog and I am sending him a huge spiritual hug.

Grief Encounter

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Children’s grief awareness is something I like to support. Grief Encounter an amazing support charity were featured on TV today. I met the founder members at a bereavement conference many years ago and salute the work and what they have achieved to date.

If you have children who are going through bereavement please do not let them struggle, seek support and counselling there is help and advice available and as I have said before there are many great books which can help explain in appropriate language how to deal with their feelings.

Keeping their loved one’s memory alive is imperative as opposed to avoiding talking about their lost relative.  The process for everybody is different and if, as a parent you are dealing with your own grief as well as comforting a child it is not easy.