reflective

MINDFULNESS

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Being mindful helps us to keep things in perspective and our emotions under control.It is very easy to allow stress to overtake our usual reasoning.

By taking a day at a time and enjoying that day for what it is rather than worrying about the things that may or not even happen tomorrow enables us to lead a far more healthier and positive life.

Too often I talk to colleagues as they approach an important event or something which they have been working towards i.e. giving a presentation or sitting exams and suddenly it all seems so daunting.

The reality being what we tell ourselves we sadly listen to. So the thought for today is to tell yourself you can succeed and not only that you are going to enjoy doing so. Stress…what stress?

I will leave you with one of my Grandmother’s favourite sayings:-

‘If things don’t alter they stay as they are!’

Global Woman Summit 2016

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This weekend I attended the Global Woman Summit with my good friend and journalist Deborah Durbin.  As VIP guests we were treated with great hospitality from the Global Woman team and of course their founder and Editor Mirela Sula who had provided the delegates with an interesting mix of speakers.

Mirela is proactive in encouraging passion and empowerment of women and embracing working together for the greater good. She made every effort to speak personally to the members of the audience and genuinely believes in the value of spirituality.

I found many of the talks quite inspiring but by far the best was the keynote speaker Dr Evin Laszlo a scientist, humanist an amazing author and an ethics prize winner. He applied the theory of quantum physics to how the world needs to change and the place of the cosmic woman (the essence of the summit) in that change.  I could have listened to this brilliant man all day…here are a few gems from my pages of notes:-

He discussed how the system needs to change to gain sustainability, we cannot stay put, or go back but we must go forward and innovate. How it was vital that we regain our coherence with each other. Question: Who best to do that?…Answer: Women!

He feels the next stage of humanity and unconditional love will be through the age of leadership by women. This will be achieved by bringing family and feminine values into the world. He feels that there is no need to conquer but to create oneness.

Dr Laszlo calls the spirit of women the new paradigm.

I will be posting more comments throughout the week to share my experience and words of wisdom from the speakers with my followers.

Have a positive Monday fellow female bloggers and writers

 

 

Meeting our dreams head on

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Last week I had the privilege of minding my great nephew who is a joy. During our fun time he asked if I was the wishing tree. Good question. He then asked me what I would wish for. Keeping it child friendly my list included, a giant bar of chocolate, the biggest ice cream in the world and my own animal zoo. This was met with great laughter. Seriously, there are not many things I wish for aside of good health for me and mine. I am fully aware money doesn’t in itself bring happiness but it would enable me to have that zoo.

In life it is very hard to focus and remain positive when trying to pursue our own dreams whilst, keeping a home running, supporting our children, extended family and friends, running a business and sometimes receiving a rejection no when maybe we want to hear a ‘yes’.

Even the most positive of characters are allowed to feel down sometimes. I have to confess for me today was one of those rare times. I have just made a cup of coffee, eaten a few squares from a not so giant bar of chocolate and reminded myself to feel grateful.

However, I am a grateful person and try where possible to help people if not with practical help of a physical nature I certainly do spiritually,supporting my friends, sharing advice and hopefully through my writing.

I can hear the voice of a good friend who will remind me the latest ‘no‘ was not God’s plan.. Don’t you think it would be good if we could take a sneaky look at that plan and therefore avoid time wasting exercises? and…SMILE!

I have a really brilliant weekend planned with a great friend, perfect timing. Off to a Global Women’s event to re-feed my spiritual self and hear from and be inspired by talented speakers.

Blog done now to finish that bar of chocolate and re-focus on my dreams.

 

Acknowledging loss

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Today I am saluting H.R.H. Prince Harry for his candidness in sharing with others how he feels about the loss of his own mother. From what was shown on news reports yesterday he encouraged children who had lost their own parent to believe they will grow up normal.

Having lost a parent myself at a very early age I can say it is a tragic experience and in my day people were even less comfortable (if that’s possible) in talking about somebody that has died. To a child without the vocabulary to express their own feelings this makes life even more difficult.

One of my biggest bug bearers had always been that in not acknowledging somebody’s existence you are preventing them from grieving naturally especially a child. If anything when somebody loses a parent when they are young they never had the opportunity to get to know them so in denying their existence you are denying the bereaved that too.

My advice is to talk about their parent and share good experiences and allow them to keep their parent alive in their heart and in their memories, as my own Mother used to say ‘memories live longer than dreams’.

The few memories I have of my own father I cherish and I guess my love of music stemmed from listening to him and our Mother enjoying their record collection when we had gone to bed.

I hope to have my own story  ‘Dancing in my Dreams’ published soon.

Today’s new word

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I am always encouraging those around me to extend their vocabularies and learn at least one new word every day. I am reminded when my daughter was about four or five and she had forgotten what her fabulous picture dictionary was called and asked me:-

‘Mummy where is that book that knows everything?’

I think that was a brilliant description of our trusty dictionary.

I found ‘my new word’ yesterday albeit provided by Nick Clegg’s beautiful wife Miriam. It is ‘Sobremesa’ which she explained (in an article within ‘You’ magazine) in Spanish means ‘over the table’. Anybody that has eaten with me knows it will be a good few hours spent not just eating but chewing the cud. Aside of finding me my new word there were one or two of her delicious looking recipes which I will be trying.

I wonder whether the hectic life people lead and the fact that families are not always sitting around the table at the same time to eat is partly responsible for people often not really knowing their children. More importantly not being aware of what could be troubling them…as parents we must open up the dialogue on a regular basis and give our children the opportunity to speak freely about any subject. Sadly, even the families that do communicate well may not see warning signs…as sometimes there aren’t any.

Again this weekend I heard another sad story of a young teenage boy taking his own life absolutely devastating for his close family and friends and the ripples of grief spread far and wide. The increasing statistics for suicides in young men for those that know them should be sending loud alarm bells to not just parents but support networks everywhere.

I recently discussed this very subject with a mother of a young male teacher and we both agreed young men need more good role models in schools and to be encouraged to share more.

Tell somebody you love that you love them today

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My amazing mentor so often said the time to be good to people and show them you care is when they are here and alive.

Many of my close family members and good friends have no problem in telling one another that we love each other but not in a flippant way but just when it feels right. For the un-lovey-dovey minority using the word love doesn’t dilute it’s value… if you mean it when you say it.

Ok for some people saying how we feel and showing emotions is difficult but life can be far more difficult for us and those close to us when we don’t.

I know a friend chose ‘The Living Years’ by Mike and The Mechanics song for his father’s funeral and the words ring true about how as children we always think our parents are from another planet. The essence of this song is quite beautiful and poignant if you have lost a father and wish you had talked more.

Vic Botterill (a great after dinner speaker I know) within his training DVD   ‘Living, Loving and Stress’ reminds his audience how important it is to tell loved ones that we love them and on a regular basis. Vic is an ex Police Officer and has had to deliver tragic news to loved ones..he knows his stuff!

So my message today is tell somebody you love…just that..you love them.

Young at heart

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Part of feeling positive I guess to a certain degree is remaining young at heart. I am known for being sensible and professional when required but also know how to play and have fun.

As my mentor used to say ‘laughing is as good as a tonic’, same said lady was an expert at playing the yo yo. She could do all sorts of tricks and we were always buying her new ones and ones that lit up.

Last week I treated myself to a new wooden yo yo and had great fun last night playing with it much to the amusement of my daughter! It’s almost as much fun as blow bubbles.

Seriously, taking time out to just be and enjoy simple things in life can place us back in the moment  remembering halcyon times as a child… and, for a while, forget about whatever is troubling us.

As for the troubles…these too will pass.

I know it’s Monday but find time to smile and enjoy the day whatever it brings.

Ollie Foundation

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The Ollie Foundation was set up by Stuart Falconer a grieving father who lost his own son Morgan only last year. Speaking to Stuart earlier today I am pleased to hear that interest and support is gathering momentum for the foundation.

I always respect anybody who turns their personal grief into positive action to help others through increased awareness. My followers know male suicide is something which I often write about.  None of us as parents and/or friends should under estimate how important it is for young men to be encouraged to share their emotions, feelings and fears.

Teens are under so much emotional pressure these days which is one of the reasons I write about the true value of CPD for teachers and intervention within the education system. Indeed I work closely with fellow counsellors and life coaches who are proactive in this area.

Please read my latest article on Innovate My School’s website: –

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/the-true-value-of-cpd

The Ollie Foundation aims to fund intervention training within schools in Hertfordshire and help remove some of the stigma attached to suicide. Having written two books on bereavement I never shun away from raising the subject of suicide nor the fact the families need even more help with coming to terms with their loss.

If you would like to find our more or feel you can help The Ollie Foundation in some way please visit:

http://www.theolliefoundation.org. 

Society generally needs to improve their attitude towards suicide it is getting better but we still have a long way to go.

 

 

Dorothy’s education

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Whilst writing my tribute to my mother ‘A Mother’s Love‘ (Gospels according to Dorothy) I guess I have been indulging myself somewhat in my memories of not just her pearls of wisdom but of the times we spent together.

Like many people my age I grew up with Doris Day tunes playing on the radio or wireless as mum always referred to it! Mum was an avid fan of both this actress of the time and of course Clark Gable. To dad she was ‘his Doris’ and to mum he was ‘her Clarke …he even had the moustache and was a nappy dresser!

Today I was treating myself from time away from the screen and found an old film on Netflix ‘Teacher’s pet‘ which featured both these actors of the time. It was a magical era where men wore suits and women didn’t go out without their hat and gloves classic! Clark was an editor on a newspaper and the beautiful Doris a teacher of journalism.They fight over which is better education or professional experience?

There were some great one liners in this old gem of a film which I had to write down:-

‘Education teaches a man how to spell experience’

‘Experience is the jockey, education the horse’

Later there is a debate wherein a very well educated psychologist argues that; ‘if you have knowledge through experience you have an education. If you look up the word knowledge it means to know’…valid point.

The school of life is indeed a great teacher and our experiences are the lessons!

 

One more day..

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Bereavement leaves one longing to be with and reunited with a loved one. Whatever your beliefs may be some may find comfort that eventually they will meet up with their loved ones in the next life.

So often we hear grieving relatives say how they would give anything for just one more day with their parent, child or partner. I heard somebody say recently that grief transcends value and I guess in a way it does. We should never take those we love for granted but cherish the time we have and the opportunity to show and tell them we care. My own mentor used to say frequently the time to be good to people is when they are here.

Life changes constantly as our lives evolve through meeting new people and losing old friends and sadly saying goodbye to loved ones. To celebrate the life of those we have lost will help not only keep them alive but help us through the changes we have no option but to accept.

We cannot change fate but we can indeed challenge it and perhaps the way we continue along the new path it has mapped out for us and ensure that we live life to the full.

Withdrawing from life and previously enjoyed activities may seem ‘the right thing’ to do. So often people feel guilty for being seen to enjoy themselves…this is not what your loved one would wish for you.