Teenage stress

Any parent of a teenage son or daughter in today’s society is sadly aware of just how stressful life has become for our children. There are so many stress factors facing today’s teens; exams, acceptance from peers and even pressure to try drugs and huge sensitivity surrounding their visual appearance all increased via the use and scrutiny of media.

The pressures for some, certainly outweigh all the great advantages that modern technology bring, indeed those in suypportive roles are also recognising just how disruptive and cruel modern media can be in terms of cyber bullying.

Please read my article on Innovate My School’s website:-

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

If you have even the smallest inclination that your child may be struggling, then quite likely they are. Ask the question, be supportive and if necessary speak to their school too as the likelihood being the answer may be easier to fathom than you realise and pastoral and tutors can help your family unit turn things around.

Remember our children are only on loan to us and we owe it to them to look out for their well-being even at times when we may not actually like them…we will always love them.

Remind them how proud we are, don’t just say it to others..this gesture of affirmation may just be what they need if feeling vulnerable or concerned about their achievements and remember not everyone can be a great academic.

Anti-bullying week

Bullying can happen to any of us at any age and in any environment. Sadly far too often people do not realise that the way they are being treated in school or the workplace is recognised as bullying and unacceptable behaviour.

It is proven statistically just how few people who are being bullied share their pain and often for fear of further reprocussions. If you feel that you are being a victim of bullying in any way please ensure that you tell somebody to not only get help for yourself but make those that need to know are aware that it is going on.

There are many easy ways in which you can increase your confidence to regain your power against the cruelty of others.  Don’t under-estimate the power your school or company have in taking the purpertrators to task. In the case of  bullying at school they can be excluded from school.

For parents there are many signs to watch out for which may be connected to bullying, poor sleep patterns, change in diet, being withdrawn and of course reluctance to go to school. Continued bullying can have all sorts of adverse affects on your child’s health, wellbeing and even affect their exam results.

 

The spiritual self

I consider myself very fortunate to be a spiritual person and to be surrounded by family members (many of whom are the younger generation) who are in touch with this side of their being and share interest with me on meditation, positive living and quantum physics.

Earlier this year I attended a conference and heard Ervin Laszlo speak  – an amazing humanist and scientist. I have  just read ‘What is consciousness’ written by this great man and two equally thought provoking sages.

Ervin speaks of the real value of having a community of givers who ‘thrive through empathy, solidarity and love.’ Now that’s a world I want to live in.

The ability to give of oneself freely enables us to reach a clearer understanding of our own purpose and brings out the best in others too.

As another great sage once said ‘be true to yourself’ and I try mum everyday whenever I can.

Bereavement -supporting children

The bereavement journey is indeed a difficult one and never more so than for children. Death of a close relative may come at an early age and before a child has yet learned the adult vocabulary with which to express how they are feeling.

I am advised it is Grief Awareness Month for Children and my advice is not to struggle ensure you get help for yourself and your children. There are also excellent books available to help children understand in an age appropriate way. One of my favourites being ‘Badger’s Parting Gifts.’

I have a project of my own A Ragdoll for Nanny’ which I am hoping to use to help a bereavement charity at some stage.  Having lost a parent at an early age and helped my own daughter with loss of grandparents very young I can speak from personal experience.

I always advise parents to let their children’s school know what is happening to gain as much support as possible. For children at senior school please look at my piece on Innovate My School’s website.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/bereavement-helping-pupils-and-towards-recovery

Anti-bullying

Later this month it is Anti-bullying awareness week and I hope the various connected charities will be well supported during this time and schools nationally take full advantage of this platform.

However, we all need to be aware of bullying every day and the various forms it takes. Additionally, the growing concerns to parents of the increase and attitude towards cyber-bullying one of the downsides of modern media.This leaves our children subjected to 24/7 attacks from those that choose this cruel way to intimidate others.

Please see my article on Innovate My School’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1670-how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying.html

Be safe be aware. Some may be comforted by the fact that statistics say most bullies go on to suffer with depression in later life…I would prefer they are encouraged from an early age to STOP IT for everyone’s sake! Whereas a large proportion of victims don’t tell anybody they are being bullied an even more worrying statistic.

Personal statements

I know many students depending on their chosen career may have already submitted their personal statements. However I know there are many of you out there planning and even struggling to work on yours now.

My following articles on Innovate My School’s website hopefully offer some useful advice to students and teachers alike.

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/industry-expert-articles/item/1617-seven-tips-for-writing-your-personal-statement.html

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/developing-social-skills-and-being-community-minded

Good luck with the process and future studying towards those exams.

Rainbow children

I had an interesting chat yesterday with the spiritual side of the family about Rainbow Children. I have to say the past few years I have read some amazing spiritual books about how we are evolving into a more spiritual peaceful time.

Whilst studying I became more and more aware of just how much of a guru my own mother was and after reading ‘Many lives many masters’ it just resonated and loudly so that she was indeed a master and sent for good reason.

It is a relatively easy decision to be positive in one’s approach to life and relationships though I am mindful that many find this extremely difficult. However, once automatic negative thought processes are removed any of us can lead a far more rewarding and fulfilling life and enable those around us to achieve their goals and place of contentment too.

If, as suggested one of our latest arrivals is indeed a Rainbow Child I will look forward to seeing what this certain young man becomes and just how he does his bit in the evolution of humanity.

But, as I always say all children are beautiful in their own way if just given the opportunity to shine…in their own way.

Sign the petition for Rosie’s backpacker safety campaign

I have just read the interview with Mia Ayliffe’s Mother in ‘The Mail on Sunday’. Her daughter, a student taken tragically whilst backpacking. Rosie’s words resonate with me and any mother reading this emotive and honest piece.

As our children go off to university and/or a gap year we worry about their safety for all sorts of reasons. However, none of us want to stop them following their dreams.

Rosie admits that in her head her daughter is still away in Australia and I have had similar conversations with the bereaved friends and families in similar situations as they struggle to come to terms with their loss.

My blog supporters and followers know how often I write about the strength of a Mother’s Love. My book of the same title currently with my publishers. What never fails to amaze me is how some individuals whilst having to work through their grief decide to channel their energy into something positive and more often that not for the benefits of others.

Mia’s mother has started a safety campaign for backpackers and I would urge my followers to sign her petition which can be found by visiting her Twitter page @RosieAyliffe.

 

Respecting women

I am deeply saddened by on-going reports of attacks on young girls on University Campuses and even more surprised that well-being/safety talks are either being poorly attended and/or promoted.If your University have gone to the trouble to organise these please attend.

Fortunately there are more young well-behaved gentlemen who are genuinely focused on their studies and who have been brought up to respect girls than the small minority that obviously do not.

However, as parents it is a continual worry that our young girls are at risk from the small minority who will take advantage of their vulnerability in more ways than one. There is the lad culture of not respecting women and comments made by the US Presidency candidate are totally unacceptable and disgraceful.

Sensible girls, drink in moderation and ensure they come home safely from events with the friends they arrived with. We all know how difficult it is to persuade somebody who has been attracted to somebody of the opposite sex through ‘beer goggles’ that they may be heading in the wrong direction and should come home and sober up.

Equally there are of course some girls who lead boys on intentionally or not and the lines become blurred. Please stay sober and safe and look after each other. Have fun but…in moderation.

 

Students -TV License Charges

My followers know I don’t normally use my blog to have a rant but today I will!

Can anybody explain to me how the TV Licensing Board can really justify hitting the students at university so heavily with their imposed license fees?

So…if you live in a shared flat, with each student having their own tenancy agreement, each person has to buy a license especially it seems if you also have the luxury of your own exclusive washing facilities. So as an example a flat of five students who share kitchen and lounge/diner all have to buy their own license i.e. £147 x 5.

As a parent trying to finance a child away from home I am certain I am not alone in thinking this is outrageous. But as I explained to my own daughter a threat of a £1,000 fine is far worse.

It also appears students are not even allowed to pay monthly to spread the cost, they have to pay in six monthly installments making it around £25 a month. Let’s hope when they go home for the summer they get a refund paid as eagerly as it seems the TV Licensing Board are in collecting monies.

By the way I was asked to post this today by several parents equally as mortified.