friendships

Walking and talking

~ credo2014 ~ Leave a comment

I am very fortunate in that I have a good circle of lovely female friends some with dogs and some without who like to walk and talk. It is good to get away from our environments, get some fresh air and share.

Everybody leads such busy lives and far too often we resort to;’how are you?’ text message but meeting and actually connecting with friends is far better for us emotionally and physically.

On mornings like today it would have been a crime not to take my screen break early and get some exercise..and for those living locally to me…yes that was me sneaking into the Hub for hot chocolate and cake..well it is my birthday week come on guys.

Seriously, if you know a family member or friend is struggling get them out of the house for a little break away and give them the opportunity to talk freely.

Stay positive, be healthy and of course be mindful enjoy the day.

 

 

Dementia Friends

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When visiting my doctor’s surgery I always take a look at their information table, being a magpie I like to have leaflets available to help friends and colleagues.

Today I picked up a card promoting Dementia Friends and their trained volunteer champions who help in the community. If you know somebody who would benefit from their help please visit their website:-

http://www.dementiafriends.org.uk 

We have a growing population of people who suffer from Mild Cognitive Impairment or Dementia and being aware of what help is available is crucial for families in particular those partners who become main carers.

Tea drinking

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Most people that know me well know that I do like a cup of tea. Don’t give me builders but a good strong cup of earl grey and I am a happy bunny whatever time of the day it is.

Yesterday i visited a local new tea shop where one can purchase any flavour you can imagine…I chose a caramel chocolate nut option. It was nice for a change but….

Today I heard a brilliant phrase concerning tea from a Scottish female friend:

‘Yer Man’s yer man…but your tea’s your comfort.’ 

That made me smile, I know my mum’s solution was to have a cup of tea and share a problem (her phrase being ‘my tea pot’s always warm‘)

A cup of tea works for me and most of my visiting friends whatever the problem is needing aired and shared!

I have just come in from a hot walk and yes, that’s right am settled with a cup of tea..oh and who bought that pecan nut danish pastry?? Better eat it whilst it’s fresh.

Finding what works

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In whatever our chosen career may be we are never too old to benefit from the advice of others. What is great, don’t you agree, is when we take time to research a subject and find out ways we can improve our own delivery of what we do…and find out it works!

I am a great believer in being informed to help make a better decision and/or give me that edge or some may say the confidence to go that extra mile to please my clients. I am mindful that people often put their faith in us and our abilities so continual professional development is vital.

There is nothing better than receiving feedback that how you handled a situation was really appreciated by those concerned. It never hurts to say thank you, though in some areas of my work I can tell if the client has enjoyed and benefited from my help.

It’s a good feeling to be helping those that need encouragement and engagement and it may be far simpler than those around may fear. Don’t be afraid to ask for help for yourself or your loved ones as the right assistance may be easier than you imagine and make such a difference.

Communication continues to be the key to success.

 

Meeting our dreams head on

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Last week I had the privilege of minding my great nephew who is a joy. During our fun time he asked if I was the wishing tree. Good question. He then asked me what I would wish for. Keeping it child friendly my list included, a giant bar of chocolate, the biggest ice cream in the world and my own animal zoo. This was met with great laughter. Seriously, there are not many things I wish for aside of good health for me and mine. I am fully aware money doesn’t in itself bring happiness but it would enable me to have that zoo.

In life it is very hard to focus and remain positive when trying to pursue our own dreams whilst, keeping a home running, supporting our children, extended family and friends, running a business and sometimes receiving a rejection no when maybe we want to hear a ‘yes’.

Even the most positive of characters are allowed to feel down sometimes. I have to confess for me today was one of those rare times. I have just made a cup of coffee, eaten a few squares from a not so giant bar of chocolate and reminded myself to feel grateful.

However, I am a grateful person and try where possible to help people if not with practical help of a physical nature I certainly do spiritually,supporting my friends, sharing advice and hopefully through my writing.

I can hear the voice of a good friend who will remind me the latest ‘no‘ was not God’s plan.. Don’t you think it would be good if we could take a sneaky look at that plan and therefore avoid time wasting exercises? and…SMILE!

I have a really brilliant weekend planned with a great friend, perfect timing. Off to a Global Women’s event to re-feed my spiritual self and hear from and be inspired by talented speakers.

Blog done now to finish that bar of chocolate and re-focus on my dreams.

 

Tell somebody you love that you love them today

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My amazing mentor so often said the time to be good to people and show them you care is when they are here and alive.

Many of my close family members and good friends have no problem in telling one another that we love each other but not in a flippant way but just when it feels right. For the un-lovey-dovey minority using the word love doesn’t dilute it’s value… if you mean it when you say it.

Ok for some people saying how we feel and showing emotions is difficult but life can be far more difficult for us and those close to us when we don’t.

I know a friend chose ‘The Living Years’ by Mike and The Mechanics song for his father’s funeral and the words ring true about how as children we always think our parents are from another planet. The essence of this song is quite beautiful and poignant if you have lost a father and wish you had talked more.

Vic Botterill (a great after dinner speaker I know) within his training DVD   ‘Living, Loving and Stress’ reminds his audience how important it is to tell loved ones that we love them and on a regular basis. Vic is an ex Police Officer and has had to deliver tragic news to loved ones..he knows his stuff!

So my message today is tell somebody you love…just that..you love them.

Ollie Foundation

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The Ollie Foundation was set up by Stuart Falconer a grieving father who lost his own son Morgan only last year. Speaking to Stuart earlier today I am pleased to hear that interest and support is gathering momentum for the foundation.

I always respect anybody who turns their personal grief into positive action to help others through increased awareness. My followers know male suicide is something which I often write about.  None of us as parents and/or friends should under estimate how important it is for young men to be encouraged to share their emotions, feelings and fears.

Teens are under so much emotional pressure these days which is one of the reasons I write about the true value of CPD for teachers and intervention within the education system. Indeed I work closely with fellow counsellors and life coaches who are proactive in this area.

Please read my latest article on Innovate My School’s website: –

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/the-true-value-of-cpd

The Ollie Foundation aims to fund intervention training within schools in Hertfordshire and help remove some of the stigma attached to suicide. Having written two books on bereavement I never shun away from raising the subject of suicide nor the fact the families need even more help with coming to terms with their loss.

If you would like to find our more or feel you can help The Ollie Foundation in some way please visit:

http://www.theolliefoundation.org. 

Society generally needs to improve their attitude towards suicide it is getting better but we still have a long way to go.

 

 

Life is… Absolutely Fabulous

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Life is as good as you make it according to my amazing mother and mentor. It is of course absolutely fabulous to those of a positive nature but not so good for those that struggle with depression.

I had a very interesting chat with a psychology student yesterday who had completed her first year and discussed with me the effects that having a mental illness has. She used a great example of how when one has a broken leg everyone can see the problem and how a child may be given longer to get around the school premises. However, a student that may be suffering from anxiety and feeling intimidated in a busy school environment will not be afforded such concessions.

I also remember my daughter coming home from school with the famous ‘plant drawing’ showing visibly what we see above and what is hidden below the surface. Reminding us all and, simply so, that people may be suffering in silence.

Thankfully mental illness and depression have started to get more media coverage and awareness.

The best any of us can do is to ask how somebody is and bear in mind things may actually  not be ‘fine’. Generally we know our friends and family well albeit many people are good at hiding their feelings…if you think something may be troubling them offer the opportunity to talk and share.

If you could do with a giggle and a lift of spirits you could do a lot worse than see the new Ab Fab film..we all are guilty of taking life too seriously and as my mentor used to say:-.

‘A laugh is as good as a tonic’  (without the Gin)

There was a great line delivered by Jennifer Saunder’s character who referred to be ‘doing mindlessness’  Brilliant!

 

 

Talking about being bullied

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I have always been a great supporter of anti-bullying activities, indeed I was responsible for the funding and placement of a buddy bench at my local junior school.

As we all know when one is bullied it says more about the bullies than it does about you…easy to say not so easy to apply. Even the most popular students at school are the victim of bullying. There are great support charities to give advice including the Anti-bullying Alliance.

Very pleased to hear that Prince William is helping with awareness of this ever-growing problem to both children and adults alike especially via modern media.

Please read my article on tackling cyber bullying on Innovate My school’s website

http://www.innovatemyschool.com/ideas/how-schools-can-tackle-cyberbullying

Happiness…being a cat

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People measure happiness in all kinds of ways and it may seem that some people are not happy unless they are complaining…we all know people like that! My amazing mother and mentor would label such people as ‘having a flea in their ear’!

Happiness comes from within, yes another person can enrich our life but expecting the whole of our life’s happiness to lay in the hands of our partner, children or best friend is unrealistic and suffocating.

Life is undoubtedly what we make it and with such a little effort we can find that happiness we crave and maybe enrich the lives of others too.

I discussed this recently with somebody who realises they are negative and no doubt finds a positive person like me very irritating. We have to want to effect change and it isn’t about changing our character but adopting a more positive attitude that will not only make us happier but make life easier for those around us.

I see this a typical relationship between my two cats, my tom is as daft as a brush but oh so loving whereas my little lady cat is far more intelligent and finds his energetic antics very annoying and he is often met with a hiss and a paw swipe around his ear.

But in life we cannot really go around hissing at people who are demanding of our time, sanity and patience..if we are honest we know they are unhappy or they wouldn’t come out scratching. Really they need stroking but withdraw away and if we corner them emotionally the fur will only fly.

I am very fortunate as I have a great circle of positive close friends (cool cats) .When we go out together we inspire each other and have fun alongside being able to share the struggles we may be having too. We all come away purring and my breakfast buddy today gives so much to everyone…a purrfect feline

As usual I prove my point and of course Freud’s ‘the talking cure’ gets us on the road to happiness. To the old tom cat reading my blog today…yes we come from the same litter in another life. Brother from another mother!

If you like the catty style of my blog today please read ‘Keep Scratching’ (by Evelyn King); my Kindle anthology of cat poems is available from Amazon.