mature student

‘Good Grief…Dancing in my Dreams’

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My above bereavement project which kept being neglected is finally being considered by my publishers. It deals with the loss of two fathers my real dad and my wonderful step father. I purposely touch on the subject of suicide which still remains even more of a taboo than death itself.

I always maintain that writing is therapeutic in many ways though I am not sure how cathartic it was for me as I kept dipping in and out of it whilst working on other projects. However, it was part reflective whilst gaining my counselling qualifications and I really hope the contents will resonate and help others.

I think one of the main things about feeling bereaved is one of losing one’s sense of purpose especially if it is a parent. Knowing that we are not alone in our feelings can be a source of great comfort.

I started my blog just over a year ago to reach out to those going through the loss of a loved one and I trust my positive thoughts and emotive writing has helped my followers.

I often receive private messages confirming my posts are connecting with many and that’s really appreciated.

Be still

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My amazing mentor mother often used to use the phrase ‘be still’ as a child I thought that just meant be quiet but as I grew older and wiser I realised it meant far more.

Sundays I love to watch and listen to ‘The Big Question’ instead of going to church and listening to one religion I listen to the debates of all religions and beliefs to learn more!

Too many great names of respected intellects and religious leaders to name, but the Hindu representative spoke of ‘Be still’ and ‘the chattering of minds’.

Many great comments made today including ‘we cannot have divinity if we have violence’.

Discussion often on how all religions are to some degree about control  of an empire and often based around fear and that is true whatever your religion may be.

One of the contributors wisely pointed out we shouldn’t separate the body from the soul.

Forgiveness and love should be present in all our lives and I definitely agreed with the point made by one participant ‘don’t let other people’s damage ..damage you’

I think the main thing is not to think of one’s self as a good Christian, Muslim, Jew or Hindu but as a good person respectful and considerate of others.

My mentor was right to bring us up to be eclectic in our approach to life and forgiving of others.

By the way the subject of the programme today was:-

Did man create god?  I think in many ways this was answered as a yes but as ever science and religion were running alongside questioning who is right and who can prove either way.

Advancement in science is certainly filling in some of the gaps as we go along and maybe leaving us with bigger questions to ask. Of course we will all know the answers in the next life…in this one we are all too busy still making mistakes.

Finding time for you

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So often I find myself at social gatherings with friends saying how guilty they feel about wanting time for themselves over and above what they do for their husbands and family.

Why? I ask them. We are all much happier in all relationships if we have space and time to do something for ourselves and pursue an activity or long term ambition. I am quite lucky though I have several female friends that are my study buddies and achieving all sorts of great things..I know I say it a lot it really is never too late.

For those people who are unhappy with their life there is only one person who can help you move on to a more rewarding life…and that’s you!  If you need life coaching or counselling to help you achieve it then seek it.

I repeatedly remind people that are feeling they are in a midlife crisis that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel fulfilled. Just don’t ask too much of your partner we have to make our own contentment and not expect that to be the sole responsibility of others.

I read a very interesting article today echoing what I have been saying for a long time men’s position in today’s society is a struggling one for many.

Place nicely.

 

The reason we are here

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I am writing my blog tonight listening to the ‘birds’ evening song’ which I love..it is both peaceful and yet victorious at the same time.

Another great night with the ‘Friday club’ a group of great friends and brave debaters. Tonight we were reminded how one is not supposed to talk about religion, politics  or sex. But…as I voiced that all three affect our lives to a certain degree so how can we avoid them? Obviously the ‘in’ and ‘out’ discussion took place and I am not talking belly buttons! Though that would be far more interesting than the Europe debate.

My great minister pal and I had our usual discussion about one’s purpose and how many do not only never get the meaning of life but do not understand the reason they are here either.

I had spoken about this to a certain degree with one of my followers earlier today when I expressed how my great mother was here for a reason. She was a ‘master’! For those that have read ‘Many lives, many masters’  (a great spiritual read) will understand that one and for those who have not then read it and awaken your spirituality this summer!

Life is good the birds outside just confirmed that.

Third time lucky…believe achieve

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How much of our life’s achievements are based on luck? Good question, but often people say third time lucky and today it was for me I passed my driving test.

With huge thanks to Nigel Smart my driving instructor for his patience and positive encouragement. As a mature student who had put off driving for ages I needed all the encouragement I could get. I would highly recommend Nigel to anybody of any age; http://www.nigelsmart.co.uk

Also to my wonderful friends that came out driving with me and some of them are still friends!! Joking aside, my female friends have been brilliant with ‘you can do this’ mantra and a special thank you to Mr Twocups… who prompted me to start driving again.

Even very positive people who are not normally nervous are nervous on their driving test it’s  a fact. I made the examiner laugh as I confessed to being nervous, but have passed five counselling qualifications…explain that one!

But today I went armed with a photo of my amazing mum for luck and I would like to think aside of my safe driving skills that she was with me today and helped me bring home my certificate.

Believe achieve; as my favourite young friend says! Today I wrote that down before leaving the house and it was the first thing I said to my instructor.

 

 

 

 

Magic moments..sharing goals

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Yesterday I shared a few magical hours with my lovely spiritual niece and my extremely adorable, witty and bright four year old great nephew… who kept us entertained and our two cats bemused and intrigued.

I am often telling people to say what they mean and mean what they say to avoid confusion. However, when having fun with small children I am reminded that what we say as a joke can be quite worrying to a little person.

Long tale…

Whilst reading a story where all the characters were animals I made a silly comment about the Doctor who was sporting a great long tail..I stupidly said ‘My Dr doesn’t have a tail like that’. I was met with the smart reply ‘Your Dr isn’t an animal!!’ True.. followed by ‘Oh you were joking.’   This boy will go far.

As always my niece and I shared our enthusiasm for our latest projects and discussed future goals with her agreeing we are never too old to expand our knowledge..she is so like me and at her happiest when evolving spiritually. The second generation in my family are very in tune with their spiritual selves and possess a healthy hunger for answers.

Posted on twitter earlier today and fitting for how I view my advancing years:-

‘You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream.’ C S Lewis

 

 

Divorced from reality

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A very good friend was not only excellent company today but gave me this phrase which can be used to describe so many of us…we joked we are this because we are both quite mad.

Whereas some people may be ‘divorced from reality’ because of their celebrity status or financial standing.

We sometimes meet people in life that may seem a good and/or exciting influence but may actually be the very last thing we need in our life. Six million dollar question being is how do we tell? Age, wisdom and experience perhaps may be our saving grace but what if we are younger and not worldly wise..then of course ask your mum or dad!

Life is a great adventure waiting to happen or is it a case of our own proposed adventure is waiting for life to happen…now there’s a thought.

Whatever the case as the sign I purchased today says:

‘Amazing things will happen’

Falling into place

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Isn’t it funny how life takes us on mini journeys where we find ourselves experiencing and trying new things which at the time may not be obvious.

Then further down the line whilst on another journey we realise that what we have learned previously is exactly what we need to carry us further.

Life is full of fate placing us with people and situations and for all good reason as eventually it all starts to fall into place.

Had a very positive chat with my amazing big brother who didn’t really understand why I had been studying so hard these past years, almost been a recluse…but the projects I can now go after and the right ones are coming my way make it all worthwhile.

Dala lama ‘The time has come for us to consider seriously how to change our way of life and not through prayer or religious teaching but through education.’

I say it often; we are never too old to take up new studies.

My number one follower will like today’s quote for sure!

Benefits of being a mature student

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I initially enrolled on four counselling courses with the BSY Group as further self- development, to help me focus my research for my bereavement projects and enhance my people skills for clients. Distance learning can work really well for those of us with work and family commitments as you can fit it around schedules and also work to your own pace.

The positive comments from the great team of BSY tutors on my returned assignments really spurred me on to complete the next lesson and proceed to final exams. We are never too old to accept compliments and I was thrilled when my tutors nominated for an Adult Learning Award last year.

I guess my message would be one is never too old to learn and grow in terms of emotional intelligence and gain new qualifications – with the support and flexibility from the team at BSY the journey is easier than you think. The standard of lesson material is so much higher than many other courses so speaking as a Quality Consultant I would say the courses are really great value for money.

So if you have been putting off doing something for yourself then now may be the time to do it! Have a look at their website the choice of holistic courses is excellent.