happiness

Finding time for you

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So often I find myself at social gatherings with friends saying how guilty they feel about wanting time for themselves over and above what they do for their husbands and family.

Why? I ask them. We are all much happier in all relationships if we have space and time to do something for ourselves and pursue an activity or long term ambition. I am quite lucky though I have several female friends that are my study buddies and achieving all sorts of great things..I know I say it a lot it really is never too late.

For those people who are unhappy with their life there is only one person who can help you move on to a more rewarding life…and that’s you!  If you need life coaching or counselling to help you achieve it then seek it.

I repeatedly remind people that are feeling they are in a midlife crisis that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel fulfilled. Just don’t ask too much of your partner we have to make our own contentment and not expect that to be the sole responsibility of others.

I read a very interesting article today echoing what I have been saying for a long time men’s position in today’s society is a struggling one for many.

Place nicely.

 

Caring for our elderly…moving on

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Over the past weeks I have had several reasons to reflect on how we care for our elderly and supporting them has been top of the agenda. Talking recently to my Chairman of our local charity to help the elderly; we compared the UK with how other countries hold their elderly in such high regard and we could do more I’m sure.

I am of the age where friends’ parents are becoming frail, sometimes in and out of hospital, sometimes having to make the difficult decision to leave their homes and move into a nursing home. As it is the Stroke Association’s purple awareness month I must of course mention stroke survivors and dependent upon the severity may have no option but move to full time care.

As with most things in life we tend to focus on the negative reports, but as I expressed to a friend today they can be useful in helping us be aware and cautious enough to ask more questions. Not all nursing homes are dreary places, but nice decor aside it’s the staff’s attitude that’s paramount in us feeling certain our loved ones will be as happy as the circumstance permits but more importantly safe.

What I always find sad is those people who have fought to keep their independence and are very bright and positive are suddenly faced with losing their independence and sometimes left without feeling active in the decisions being made around them.

I have visited a nursing home today but not naming for many reasons but it made me realise that maybe I should be doing a bit more for the elderly as well as my pro-activity already and more recent focus on teens. Today’s experience thankfully was a positive one though even if it did remind me of visiting my own Mother in a hospice.

A friend shared his own Father’s advice today:

‘As you grow older you realise you have two hands; one for helping yourself and one for helping others.’ 

A sentiment I agree with wholeheartedly and of course there is nothing as strong as the heart of a volunteer.

Not forgetting of course those who have moved to that next place -location depends on your viewpoint. My Mother is on her beach in heaven making everybody smile.

 

 

 

Knowing our limitations

~ credo2014 ~ 2 Comments

I know like many I am terribly hard on myself and always setting the bar high to achieve and be the best I can be.

However, there are some days where we may not be so full of energy and our dynamic streak seems to be having a little nap. So on these days do we look at the list of things to do and cherry pick? Yes, why not!

I have always maintained that at times we may not be able to deliver our very best so recognising that isn’t an admission of failure but more of a case of knowing our limitations…even if for one day.

Tomorrow will be another day and not only will we achieve that higher level but we may be inspired to do something a different way…and perhaps that breathing space is just what was needed.

I am applying this to my own projects today, one is very demanding and I am thinking my level of chocolate intake may not be high enough to cope! My torture instead will be the neglected admin stuff. Ugh!

Now knowing one’s limitations where chocolate concerned is a whole other subject for a blog…another day.

Remember followers please keep hydrated we all under-estimate the value of water balance in our bodies..I am certain I was a mermaid in another life.

 

A Mother’s Love

~ credo2014 ~ 1 Comment

Never a day goes by where I don’t treasure a memory shared or a few words of wisdom from my amazing mentor.

Being a mother is the best job in the world although I didn’t realise this until quite late in life when my beautiful daughter arrived. Life has never been the same…it’s been better!

Daughters: We share in their achievements, watch over them, support them through life’s ups and downs and admire them as they develop into young confident women.

Grumble like crazy when they take our best handbag and create a floordrobe of the clothes we have just ironed but best of all we just love them.

Looking forward to mine coming back from university so is our maisy cat currently fretting for her furry sibling.

 

Cascading Reminiscent Bumps

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I know I have posted about cascading reminiscent bumps before but today I experienced a great one.

My daughter bought a small bottle of cream soda and when I smelt its creamy aroma it transported me back to being a child great times and memories of ice cream floats.

Ok.. so this was a good one; but we also know that our senses can send us back into memories that may make us sad too. But hey that is not such a bad thing so what if we shed a tear or two as we remember a loved one no longer with us?

Remember that is the mind’s way of slowly releasing some of that stress and sadness still remaining in our body. Embrace it, feel it and treasure the memory.

I remember being on a London bus once sitting next to an elderly lady who smelt of lavender; I was instantly transported back to summers in the garden with gran making lavender bags -the memory was of course positive but the feeling/reminder that she was no longer around did make me feel a bit sad. So the bump did its job!

As I always say;

‘We keep our loved ones alive in our minds and our hearts’

and

‘Death does not end a relationship.’

 

Play time

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I was reminded yesterday how phrases once the norm as a child sound so funny when finally we have grown up?

Play time..a time of fun becomes ‘break/free period’ as our schooling becomes more serious and focused.

Lunch hour (for those 9-5 office workers) not for the self-employed means just that.

Mine may be quick jog around the common, bowl of soup whilst watching the news with one eye on the lap top. More often than not a sudden realisation come five o’clock that lunch came and went and I am starting to feel a bit peckish and a chocolate bar is calling.

Maybe we should find more time to play but we just need the right distraction and willing play-mate… it can be so boring being grown up.

Last night a friend told me her four year old daughter who was being high-spirited and when told off by Daddy replied:-

‘No you grumpy wizard!’ Love love love it!

She will go far making people laugh is half the battle, keeping them amused not so easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Mother’s Love

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Rainy Mondays can be just as great for good news as Fridays!  Just had a positive response to one of my projects and am feeling elated. Was talking to an amazing friend who could share the moment with me.

My wonderful mother and mentor used to say;

‘Everything comes to those that wait’

…and we would quip as kids:

‘Some have to wait a bit longer…’

I am often quoted as reminding people to be patient as things happen when they are meant to and for good reason. Maybe when we really want something we are not yet ready to cope with it and that is why we have to wait.

To that spiritual force out there I will say thank you for listening to me. If this comes to final fruition I know it will help others by reading it and that is my gift to help the healing process through the written word.

Today’s message is work hard and keep that dream in your vision and close to your heart and when asked what motivates me the answer is always the same:-

‘A Mother’s Love’.  My story and her’s.

 

 

 

 

 

Being that friend

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At a retreat last year the guru explained how to have those great friends you have to first be that great friend and never a truer word was said.

In life there are those that give of themselves effortless then there are those that are takers. We were encouraged as children not be selfish and naturally gravitate to positive optimistic individuals.

However, we have to be generous of heart which can be tiresome when those we try to support and help really cannot or will not help themselves. So what is the answer?

Life does not knock on your door unless your kerb appeal is good (as Estate agent’s say) Even making a little effort to be friendly and kind to others will reap rewards and I constantly remind people that kindness is a strength.

Life is indeed what we make it and the more we try new things the more we grow and even surprise ourselves of our hidden abilities.

Action speaks the priority: “If the goal in our life is very important, and we are not taking any step to complete or fulfil that goal, then we need to reassess our priorities.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Time for hot choccy before supermarket dash..

Listen to the grime

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I had a short lesson in grime music with my daughter recently. I will probably be in trouble saying this but I think it’s rapping. Seriously, She played me a few tracks and showed me a few dance moves and I did my very best…to howls of laughter.

She played me a track by Drake and the words were;

 ‘Started from the bottom now we’re here’

A good message for the young that we do indeed have to start somewhere and build our way up…sometimes against the odds. So as an adult I would suggest we are not so quick to be dismissive of this style of music. Admittedly some tracks have some colourful language which I prefer not to hear.

Whilst learning my new moves I picked up one phrase in a Stormsy track;

‘Hot chocolate and a pannini to go’…that’s lunch sorted.

As I frequently say on my blog…we are never too old to learn something new and I’m off to practice those skanky leg movements. (If you can do the Charleston you may be in with a chance.)

I knew I still have it… I just can’t remember where I put it!

 

Coffee with a stranger

~ credo2014 ~ 2 Comments

So often people are quick to criticise younger people for not having any manners or being unsociable.

This morning I had the pleasure to encounter a lovely young lady in Costa Coffee near Farringdon Station. (If you are reading my blog you know who you are). Her manners were impeccable and we soon engaged in a very open and positive exchange.

I really hope this young lady is successful in pursuing her dreams she deserves to do well and if I were her Mother I would be extremely proud.

Often when we are younger employers exploit us or treat us unfairly because they can. What they do not realise is how damaging this can be to somebody starting out in life and needing their confidence building up not destroying.

Beautiful hair by the way!!