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Preparing for life and death

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Sometimes in life we have to face challenges we would rather not have to…often these challenges test our strength of character. But how on earth do we or can we prepare?

I was reflecting earlier this week how when my Stepfather died my Mother gave me the task of visiting neighbors and ringing family members to break the news. It suddenly dawned on me what she was doing…preparing me for the eventuality of having to deal with her passing. She knew it would be quite likely that I would be quite active in breaking the news and helping organise her funeral.

This week many young people  I know personally are faced with the very sad task of attending a beautiful young friend’s funeral. Of course nobody can make any sense of losing anybody their own age especially unexpectedly and I am reminded how I felt attending a cousin’s funeral a similar age. It was one of the saddest experiences of my life if I am honest.

So how do we help one another get through this? My best advice as always at any funeral is to try to celebrate the loved one’s life and respectfully so.

My other piece of advice to those concerned is to remember to look out for and keep in contact with the bereaved family after the funeral. So often people spend time offering support leading up the event then make a decision to leave the family in peace. This is of course respectful but try to remember it is after the funeral that maybe they need our support most and continually so for sometime after.

There is no time limit on grief and the more close and intense the relationship the harder it is to accept their passing. Remember death does not end a relationship and that person is kept alive in our hearts and in our minds.

The tallest poppies are always picked first…sadly.

Divorced from reality

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A very good friend was not only excellent company today but gave me this phrase which can be used to describe so many of us…we joked we are this because we are both quite mad.

Whereas some people may be ‘divorced from reality’ because of their celebrity status or financial standing.

We sometimes meet people in life that may seem a good and/or exciting influence but may actually be the very last thing we need in our life. Six million dollar question being is how do we tell? Age, wisdom and experience perhaps may be our saving grace but what if we are younger and not worldly wise..then of course ask your mum or dad!

Life is a great adventure waiting to happen or is it a case of our own proposed adventure is waiting for life to happen…now there’s a thought.

Whatever the case as the sign I purchased today says:

‘Amazing things will happen’

Play time

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I was reminded yesterday how phrases once the norm as a child sound so funny when finally we have grown up?

Play time..a time of fun becomes ‘break/free period’ as our schooling becomes more serious and focused.

Lunch hour (for those 9-5 office workers) not for the self-employed means just that.

Mine may be quick jog around the common, bowl of soup whilst watching the news with one eye on the lap top. More often than not a sudden realisation come five o’clock that lunch came and went and I am starting to feel a bit peckish and a chocolate bar is calling.

Maybe we should find more time to play but we just need the right distraction and willing play-mate… it can be so boring being grown up.

Last night a friend told me her four year old daughter who was being high-spirited and when told off by Daddy replied:-

‘No you grumpy wizard!’ Love love love it!

She will go far making people laugh is half the battle, keeping them amused not so easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Mother’s Love

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Rainy Mondays can be just as great for good news as Fridays!  Just had a positive response to one of my projects and am feeling elated. Was talking to an amazing friend who could share the moment with me.

My wonderful mother and mentor used to say;

‘Everything comes to those that wait’

…and we would quip as kids:

‘Some have to wait a bit longer…’

I am often quoted as reminding people to be patient as things happen when they are meant to and for good reason. Maybe when we really want something we are not yet ready to cope with it and that is why we have to wait.

To that spiritual force out there I will say thank you for listening to me. If this comes to final fruition I know it will help others by reading it and that is my gift to help the healing process through the written word.

Today’s message is work hard and keep that dream in your vision and close to your heart and when asked what motivates me the answer is always the same:-

‘A Mother’s Love’.  My story and her’s.

 

 

 

 

 

We all get scared from time to time

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I remember my Mother saying a real man cries and men get scared too. As I was reminded today ‘not just romantic women are vulnerable’ and I stand duly corrected.

I repeat the words from John Martyn’s song ‘Head and Heart’…

‘Love me from the place it starts…love me like  a child.’

Sometimes  I feel that love songs sung by men are somewhat more honest. No doubt I will get slated for saying that…sorry ladies.

Whilst in the  mood for romantic lyrics, the old sixties song ‘The More I see you’

‘My arms won’t free you and my heart won’t try.’

Enough of this tosh. Time for coffee and that millionaire’s shortbread.

 

Being that friend

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At a retreat last year the guru explained how to have those great friends you have to first be that great friend and never a truer word was said.

In life there are those that give of themselves effortless then there are those that are takers. We were encouraged as children not be selfish and naturally gravitate to positive optimistic individuals.

However, we have to be generous of heart which can be tiresome when those we try to support and help really cannot or will not help themselves. So what is the answer?

Life does not knock on your door unless your kerb appeal is good (as Estate agent’s say) Even making a little effort to be friendly and kind to others will reap rewards and I constantly remind people that kindness is a strength.

Life is indeed what we make it and the more we try new things the more we grow and even surprise ourselves of our hidden abilities.

Action speaks the priority: “If the goal in our life is very important, and we are not taking any step to complete or fulfil that goal, then we need to reassess our priorities.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Time for hot choccy before supermarket dash..

Friday night is music night

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Tonight BBC Radio 2 at eight o’clock we will have the opportunity to listen to the BBC Orchestra’s tribute to William Shakespeare.

I was fortunate enough to go to the live show – a really brilliant and eclectic musical evening. Songs from great musicals and jazz favourites are just a few treats in store.

After a rather emotive week of sharing with some special friends who face great challenges beyond comprehension one realises life is good and oh so precious.

To lose oneself in music is ‘simply the best’ and..to a special friend ‘we have nothing to be guilty of…’

Finishing the week on a positive optimistic note, and, to quote the great wordsmith

‘We know who we are..but not what we may be.’

Falling into place

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Isn’t it funny how life takes us on mini journeys where we find ourselves experiencing and trying new things which at the time may not be obvious.

Then further down the line whilst on another journey we realise that what we have learned previously is exactly what we need to carry us further.

Life is full of fate placing us with people and situations and for all good reason as eventually it all starts to fall into place.

Had a very positive chat with my amazing big brother who didn’t really understand why I had been studying so hard these past years, almost been a recluse…but the projects I can now go after and the right ones are coming my way make it all worthwhile.

Dala lama ‘The time has come for us to consider seriously how to change our way of life and not through prayer or religious teaching but through education.’

I say it often; we are never too old to take up new studies.

My number one follower will like today’s quote for sure!

Out of comfort zone

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Sometimes even when we are prepared and experienced we may find ourselves feeling a bit nervous or wishing we could have done better… because we know we could!

I was discussing this very subject yesterday with a colleague and it may not necessarily mean the situation was out of our comfort zone, but if it is linked to something we really want our passion may distract us.

Last week Meryl Streep one of my favourite actresses confessed that she still suffers from nerves so that’s my new bench marker!  I remember a musician boyfriend explaining before going on stage nerves are what drive us and that a certain amount of adrenaline is good if used well.

However, there are some instances where nerves will hamper our success and I will apply that thought process as best I can later this week. Hoping to report some positive news in this connection. Change that last statement to I will be reporting a successful conclusion.

Listen to the grime

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I had a short lesson in grime music with my daughter recently. I will probably be in trouble saying this but I think it’s rapping. Seriously, She played me a few tracks and showed me a few dance moves and I did my very best…to howls of laughter.

She played me a track by Drake and the words were;

 ‘Started from the bottom now we’re here’

A good message for the young that we do indeed have to start somewhere and build our way up…sometimes against the odds. So as an adult I would suggest we are not so quick to be dismissive of this style of music. Admittedly some tracks have some colourful language which I prefer not to hear.

Whilst learning my new moves I picked up one phrase in a Stormsy track;

‘Hot chocolate and a pannini to go’…that’s lunch sorted.

As I frequently say on my blog…we are never too old to learn something new and I’m off to practice those skanky leg movements. (If you can do the Charleston you may be in with a chance.)

I knew I still have it… I just can’t remember where I put it!