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Coffee with a stranger

~ credo2014 ~ 2 Comments

So often people are quick to criticise younger people for not having any manners or being unsociable.

This morning I had the pleasure to encounter a lovely young lady in Costa Coffee near Farringdon Station. (If you are reading my blog you know who you are). Her manners were impeccable and we soon engaged in a very open and positive exchange.

I really hope this young lady is successful in pursuing her dreams she deserves to do well and if I were her Mother I would be extremely proud.

Often when we are younger employers exploit us or treat us unfairly because they can. What they do not realise is how damaging this can be to somebody starting out in life and needing their confidence building up not destroying.

Beautiful hair by the way!!

Vulnerable and fragile

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Last night I watched Monday’s Panorama ‘I’m broken inside’ Sara’s story. Anybody that watched this emotive documentary will no doubt be as angry as me that this young girl was failed by the very systems that are put in place to help. I was horrified when her sister reported that Sarah was even subjected to ‘the powers that be’ arguing over funding for her help…disgraceful.

My heart goes out to the family and huge respect for making this documentary about their beautiful daughter. For families still going through the process hearing that professional help is not as successful as we probably imagine must be equally as alarming.

I have known people who have worked for CAMS and know that the counsellors’ case loads are overloaded and funding for support for families is short and slow in coming…sometimes too late.

I remember being at a meeting last year with several supporting agencies and community heads; we agreed when somebody seeks help they are often already in serious trouble then they are reliant on GP funding to refer and there is a long waiting list.

Sarah Brennan from Young Minds spoke about the serious problem teens now faced with cyber bullying (a subject I often write about). This modern media has resulted in bullying 24/7 and I know schools are faced with supporting more cases than they can cope with.

Early this morning whilst I was reflecting on the programme and the notes I had made I was distracted by a small thud outside which sounded like something had hit the upstairs window. As quickly as I heard the noise I saw a bird fall to the ground.

I opened the patio door to see such a pretty little bird gasping its last few breaths. I assume it flew into the window or fell from a nest. As I picked it up I felt saddened but there was nothing I could have done. Sometimes in life these things are symbols which make us stop and think. I reflected on Sara also fragile and in need of help but it wasn’t forthcoming and another Mother has to live with the loss of a beloved child.

The government must put more resources into support for mental health issues and making available resources closer to the patient’s family to aid their recovery.

Any petitions that we see being organised by support agencies and charities we must sign to get the numbers they require to take their complaints and requests to government.

 

 

 

Benefits of being a mature student

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I initially enrolled on four counselling courses with the BSY Group as further self- development, to help me focus my research for my bereavement projects and enhance my people skills for clients. Distance learning can work really well for those of us with work and family commitments as you can fit it around schedules and also work to your own pace.

The positive comments from the great team of BSY tutors on my returned assignments really spurred me on to complete the next lesson and proceed to final exams. We are never too old to accept compliments and I was thrilled when my tutors nominated for an Adult Learning Award last year.

I guess my message would be one is never too old to learn and grow in terms of emotional intelligence and gain new qualifications – with the support and flexibility from the team at BSY the journey is easier than you think. The standard of lesson material is so much higher than many other courses so speaking as a Quality Consultant I would say the courses are really great value for money.

So if you have been putting off doing something for yourself then now may be the time to do it! Have a look at their website the choice of holistic courses is excellent.

Two leaflets..one too many!

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Today I took delivery of two leaflets. One I had the privilege of working on for our local Independent Councillor who has worked tirelessly for the good of our community for some 18 years. The other being the Government’s no-expense-spared leaflet on remaining in the European Union.

Let’s be honest here; if they really felt it necessary to send a leaflet to every household surely it should have included elements of benefits to leave for those wanting to vote that way. Whilst I am not personally anti remaining within the EU, I do however object to the huge cost of this leaflet. I recognise, as do many, what good those monies could have done if ploughed into the NHS say… or to save our steel industry…dare I say producing this costly leaflet is conservatism at its very worse!

In today’s age of so many media options those that didn’t feel informed had many ways of finding out, not least of all via TV and Internet -do they think we are all idiots? Our newspapers could have easily spared the editorial space for the material within this glossy offering if current party leaders didn’t lead such colourful lives.

On a more positive note I will be off shortly to proudly deliver a respected man’s leaflet.

Crazy or just a bit quirky?

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Today I was reminded by an old school chum that whilst he thought I was an intelligent girl he also thought I was a bit mad! Of course he is right on both accounts creative people have to be just a little bit crazy to be inventive. I prefer to say I am quirky.

There is of a course a very fine line between being insane and what others see as normal, but who are we to judge?

I am also aware that over the years my happy disposition, positive outlook and enthusiasm can be just a little bit annoying too!  But we all are what we are, but with a little change and consideration of others we can all rub along quite nicely. What a great shame it would be if we were all the same eh?

Some people bring out the best in us, some bring out the worst and others bring out the craziness. One of my very close friends and I have had some really funny times which would of course be construed by others (especially our children) as uncool and embarrassing or just plain mad.

So to said old school chum… to play on words… I am not wild…I’m furious. just kidding!

By the way the idea of comparing types of affair as ‘conventional or sexual’ is beyond belief by the way. An oven is conventional or fan assisted!! What’s cooking?

Reflective creativity

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Whilst preparing for a new project my research reminded me of the great time I had running a writers group. It never failed to amaze me how one subject could be interpreted in so many different ways by my fantastic writers/friends when I pulled them into being reflective if only for  a few hours.

It was an interesting time and I used to encourage members to set either the home work or class assignment for the group. One week it was my turn and most unlike me I hadn’t prepared handouts or decided on a topic. So five minutes before the group arrived I went into my daughter’s room (then aged 8)and just scooped up an array of toys.

The toys were placed in the middle of the room and the group were invited to select a toy then write a piece imagining they were that toy. The results were amazing if not somewhat crazy. An elderly female member chose the barbie doll and wrote a hysterical piece on how well she could now move as bendy barbie and her bosoms were once again pert! Another male member chose a teddy bear with inspirational talents – maybe how he viewed himself?

This works well with photographs too; just a case of letting one’s imagination run free if not a bit wild! Sometimes we just need prompting and  Shelford Chandler of Giant Steps Create  (who runs collaborative workshops) reminded me that;

‘We all have the innate ability to be creative.’

…we just hesitate in unleashing it.  

In life we all need to escape from time to time and  venturing into a world of play can be invigorating. I guess something which men often manage better than us grumpy women is to keep the child within them alive.

I’m off to play and create.

 

Putting one’s mind to something

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Just heard another lady at the hairdressers repeating my own mother’s words of encouragement…‘You can do anything in life if you put your mind to it!’

So many of us listen to the little voice that can easily talk us out of taking on a new challenge. My tip for the day is to ignore it and be an ‘I can do’ type of gal. The latter has held me in good stead over the years to always try new things and expand the personal and professional CV.

Be curious; Get out and meet people with a different point of view -nothing better than a good debate as long as you bear in mind it is just another’s opinion which may differ tremendously from yours. In our house growing up with a formidable independent woman for a mother us girls were always allowed our say and quite often we knew best! Sorry ‘brothers’ but it’s true!

–00–

I am enjoying having a ‘song challenge’ with a friend who may be reading this today…by the way I am still winning.  I am reminded this weeks of lyrics from ‘The impossible dream’;

‘To run where the brave dare not go’...yes the supermarket on Friday afternoon!

Have a fab weekend fellow bloggers

 

 

The world of a four year old

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Yesterday I spent some magical time with one of my favourite friends from our village Sienna. She is aged four, beautiful, bright and has a great quirky sense of humour. I feel blessed that she counts me as her friend too and has invited me to her party.

We invented a great game last night winding down to bedtime. First of all you think of an object or an animal, then you decided where in your body it should be. It is a fun game to get little minds working.

I decided my cute friend had a television but it was on rather loud. It was kept under her arm so to turn the volume down a bit of tickling was involved. She soon caught on and decided I had a piano under my chin which she wanted to play which involved tickling my chin too…something she often does.

At one stage she had a pussycat up her  sleeve and I had a giraffe in my belly button.

No animals were harmed in the making of this game!

During a wonderful evening she revealed she was a bit sad though as she was too small to play with my daughter (age 19) but somehow manages well with me!

Before finally snuggling down to sleep she told me her teddy needed to go to the vet as he was poorly. I want to live in her world it’s superb. Love this child!

Don’t worry…eat chocolate

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We all spend far too much time worrying about things and as my amazing mother used to say;  ‘Worrying about things won’t change them and it’s just time out of your life wasted.’ and of course as usual she was right! We knew these as Dorothy’s teachings now known as mindfulness and both are explored lovingly in my book ‘A Mother’s Love’.

One can be aware of something without the necessity of allowing it to become all consuming, but opt to moving on to the next thought process to dilute its importance.  Standing back, reflecting, accepting and thinking ‘In the scheme of things’ one could soon realise the concerned thought is in fact trivia and not worthy of the time and mind space or level of anxiety.

Half of our deep seated worries will never come to fruition and the other half ….do not actually exist! The following statistics may help prove this; 40% will never happen, 30% are related to the past which one cannot do anything about, 12% unfounded health concerns, 10% too petty to even worry about, 4% substantially beyond our control = 96% so one can see what we are left with …not much to worry about at all really so we must continue to keep our faith (whatever that may be), remain positive  and stop worrying.

However, in case of real emergencies I strongly recommend chocolate and yes it is good for your health. But all things in moderation eh?

Mindfulness…chocolate brownies

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I confess today after a somewhat emotive time of late I was feeling a bit flat most unlike me.  Then a minister friend  rang and asked me if I felt like donating an article on mindfulness for the Parish Magazine. His call was perfectly timed and it helped me turn my own mood around whilst writing something suitable. A little taster:-

‘Adopting the theory of mindfulness within CBT as believed and practiced by Buddhists is about learning to live positively in the moment. Making every day count and not living by dwelling on past negative experiences and/or living in fear of what terrible fate awaits one in the future but focusing on the here and now.

A modern day professor of philosophy Morrie Schwartz was a great advocate of this within his teachings. The script from the film ‘Tuesday’s with Morrie’ dramatizing his final months of his life provides excellent material for anybody studying counselling or theology. Morrie said: ‘You cannot spare somebody’s feelings by denying them, but forgive now –that’s the tension of opposites –we learn from what hurts us as much as what loves us.’ 

He spoke of being mindful: ‘The Buddhists believe that one should speak to the little imaginary bird sitting on one’s shoulder and ask everyday ‘Am I leading the life I want to live?’ Which I believe to be an excellent way of putting on the breaks and reminding us that life is short and each day should be treasured and enjoyed for what it brings as part of life’s rich tapestry.’

After all this soul searching I think a cup of tea and a chocolate brownie seem like a positive step…

My next blog today will include the statistics about worrying so tune in later.