Wise words from my beautiful mentor and Mother were never in short supply. One message  I recall is ‘the time to be good to be people is when they are here’.  So true, it’s too late after they are no longer here to love or give a helping hand to.

In life we meet people along the way and try to believe the best of them and they will quite likely disappoint at some stage. The ace card has got to be forgive and try to support them. Of course some are a lost cause and to sever ties is the best option. Whereas, others we can give as much time as they need willingly because we care about them and love them.

Things happen in life to remind us what is important – people are and not our belongings. So look after your treasured possession which may in fact be your child. Remember to tell them you love them as much as you can even when they have made you angry and possibly disappointed you. They are still learning to be the best they can be and as parents we just do the best we can in order to support them in their development and we too are learning along the way.

When things go pear shaped apportioning blame helps nobody but looking for solutions to help improve our situation not only gives us focus but enables us to move forward. Seeking professional help when necessary is the best advice and even counsellors need, and, are supposed to have counselling…and they are trained and have all the answers!

Love and forgiveness are the order of the day and of course listening.

Hello to all those conker lovers out there. I have just come across one of my collectors books, undated probably 1950’s or 60’s ‘Things to make and do the whole year through’. Some truly crazy suggestions in this book albeit echoing back to a more romantic time of being a child.

Out of curiosity I thought I would look at this month, and for this week it is chestnut week with some amazing suggestions what to do with your conkers!! Seriously, make conker men using matchsticks for arms and legs!! It reminded me of watching my brothers playing conkers prior to the fun police and health and safety gone mad..I believe this is banned now in schools?

I am tempted to abandon the NLP course and take a year out and work my way through this book!

Just kidding! Next week its how to make a wool ball…a pompom I believe it was called in my day. Where’s my bag of wool?!!!

Lordy, lordy I have got to the part in my NLP course which deals with de-cluttering. Those that know me recognise I do like to collect books, photographs and stuff!! Mixed  comments of ‘shall I get you a skip and help you sort it’ to ‘I love your house it’s so homely’ are frequently expressed by friends and family visitors.

However, in my own defence it is organised chaos and of course the fact we have outgrown our wee house adds to my own home’s fullness.  I love it, confess to ignoring some of the files due to expanding working space which should maybe be moved out of the lounge. Dare I really put anything else in that loft?

I think somebody is trying to send me a message…the plumber arrived to sort out my rads. I had to take all the books off a book case so he could get to a rad (not in use). I am surrounded by piles of books as I write my blog today..and yes… guess what? Just found a book on feng shui for the home.

Do you know that dust has its own chi energy which is why cleaning regularly is essential to our spiritual self and it not only burns a few calories it revitalizes the chi energy.

So I am going to make my research/homework an assignment for me to have a surge.  Off to dust the hoover and have a dance around…don’t forget those corners Ms m!!

Nearing the completing of my NLP course and my last assignment was on stress management and how some people are naturally calm and this rubs off on those around them. I was able to give a positive example by discussing my driving tuition experience with local Driving and Karate Instructor Nigel Smart. http://www.nigelsmart.co.uk

Nigel is an extremely calm individual, very patient has a fab karma and is definitely a type B person.  Whilst he takes his work very seriously he is in full control, so does not get stressed about his work. I know he takes great pride in what he does using emotional intelligence alongside skillful, safe and careful driving to enable his pupils to achieve a pass. Indeed he gets us to chant a positive mantra about our driving and passing the tests -none of this has been wasted on me.

I suspect the karate is a positive contributing factor to his personal harmony, bringing an excellent balance and providing regular exercise in comparison to the driving/sitting role. This is clearly an individual that has worked out the secret to success, enjoying what he does and leads a far happier life than a lot of people I encounter. I have really enjoyed my time driving under his tuition and cannot recommend his driving tuition enough… whatever your age is. Actually I feel his approach is more akin to coaching and gets my vote.

Annie Manning MASC (CBT)

Just to add a s.o.h to life in politics. Some years ago I had arranged a meeting with a local councillor. When he arrived he was met with me rushing out the front door with cat basket in hand. Why I hear you ask??

One of my chickens had escaped over the back fence and we had to drive around the other side of my estate to recapture Dolly. Fortunately my garden backs onto a small right of way alley and we managed to block off both exits. We had great fun trying to coax  my girl into the basket, but we did eventually. My friend and local councillor then joked the things he had to do to help his community! A day in the life of…

Picture above features Dolly and Daisy giving a whole new meaning to the word  ‘hen party’.

Over the years I have dabbled a bit in local politics and been proactive in helping in my own community. One of the things which has always angered me is when women cannot be bothered to vote, I guess I have hidden my anger by jokingly encourage voting reminding said women of the great efforts women went to enable us that right.

So for all those women (you know who you are) I suggest you get yourself along to the cinema and see the brilliant film ‘Suffragette’…maybe seeing the extremes those women went to visually will remind you next time to find time to vote. Not only do you owe it to them, but to yourself and your daughters.

Whilst ranting, my other beef is of course when people seem unable to differentiate between local and national politics. Locally please vote for the person who will genuinely work for your community not be led, or often misled by the colour of the rosette!

Come on followers it is Monday even a positive writer/blogger has grumble times.

I have just watched the Simon Pegg film ‘Happiness’ and recommend it as a feel good film. It tells the story of Hector a psychiatrist in search of happiness and what it represents to various individuals.

As always I scribbled copious notes with brilliant quotes for my own research. One which succinctly captured how I view as being important in my own relationships; ‘Listening is loving’ . Let’s face it sometimes that is all somebody requires to be listened to and their feelings acknowledged.

Hector meets a collection of wise and interesting people who all have their valid opinions. One being based on how we perceived life as a child and as an adult. I.e. as a child we experience untarnished joy and all is right in our world (hopefully), whereas as an adult the more we focus on our own happiness the more it appears to elude us.

At one stage happiness is revealed as learning and whether it should be ‘pursuit of happiness or the happiness of pursuit’. The latter sits comfortably with me as I am often extremely happy and fulfilled when I am learning something new as part of my own self development and finding the answers… to what maybe has previously eluded me!

Seriously though the film touches on some of the obvious which many of us seem to forget; we can’t touch happiness and happiness for some maybe a case of simply answering their calling.

One I particularly loved; ‘Happiness is being loved for who you are!’

The film more or less concluded that ‘we have an obligation to be happy’ and I will go along with that one too but recognise that statement in itself puts pressures on people who may be struggling in life.

Live a day at a time and be grateful.. helps to keep everything in perspective.

Isn’t it funny how we can reflect back on a situation which at the time seemed oh so serious but now is highly amusing.

I laughed until I cried last night when reminded about an incident concerning a guinea pig’s mystery haircut. When my daughter was about eight we had two amazing guinea pigs and a rather excitable young male rabbit. We returned home one day to find our guinea pig’s beautiful rosette hairdo had been hacked. A friend who happens to be a hairdresser convinced us it had definitely been cut with scissors.

Understandably we were upset to think somebody had broken into the garden and done this to our beloved pet. We mentioned it to our local Community Police Officers -who at the time must have thought I was quite mad but made polite noises… they see and hear far worse!

The phantom hairdresser turned out to be the randy young rabbit with very sharp teeth who was subsequently moved out of bunny towers to live a more sedate and less sexually active life away from the frightened piggies.

Said Police Officer is now retired and a good friend despite of my apparent quirkiness.

The morale of this story is; things are never quite as they seem and best tip is to keep young frisky bunnies away from your piggies.

Thankfully charities like The Child Bereavement Trust exist to help children coping with bereavement. As Prince William said during his recent speech at their event for children experiencing bereavement ‘It is the darkest moments of their life’.

Having lost his own Mother he can show genuine empathy with the children and support the charity. We all know we can learn  empathy but when you have experienced something yourself you can speak from the heart.

I lost my own Father just aged seven and this loss and observing how death is still the last taboo for some inspired me to gain counselling qualifications and write and research books on the subject of bereavement. Sadly as a child in the 1960’s charities like The Child Bereavement didn’t exist.

Don’t ignore anybody who has been recently bereaved make time to talk to them. I remember my Mother saying how people crossed the road to avoid talking to her when my Father  died…very sad.

The role of a Mother, as female head of the worrying department is just that to worry…this may be translated by your children into the horrible word ‘nagging’.

To all those fellow mums with children at university or maybe working abroad, they have to go much further than they have to avoid, our love, caring and yes, probably nagging.

As a wise woman (my mum) once advised:-

‘Being a mother is a most rewarding job you will ever do, and one which you cannot give your notice in and/or leave.’

Additionally, it is long hours, without pay and at times little gratitude but we do it as part of the unconditional love contract we entered into the day our children came crying into this world. But golly it brings joy and rewards that cannot be measured!

My best project ever and to quote something I saw on facebook recently:-

‘ A worried mother does better research than the FBI’

Aint it the truth?

As I celebrate with my daughter the new challenges she embraces I have reminded her today to balance that enthusiasm to try new things with an element of caution. To me she is still that eleven year old, year seven, boarding the school bus for the first time…I rest my case and stand accused of caring!!

Thanks to one of my followers for inspiring me to write this piece today. She may be reading this in the morning with a hangover!

My publication ‘A Mother’s Love‘ hopefully will be published early next year in time for Mother’s Day.